To expect a 4 year to do something first time I ask?

[gobananasgo]

Like put their socks on (something they can easily do) or AIBU and or is asking 10 times standard ( which increasingly frustrated voice.?) I do offer help if asked,

@mosquitofeast Are you a parent? If so, please share your magic techniques for getting a four year old to do something when asked for the first then.

*time

My 2 are 23 and 20 and I still have to repeat myself

[quote Rainallnight]@mosquitofeast Are you a parent? If so, please share your magic techniques for getting a four year old to do something when asked for the first then.[/quote]
You teach them to do as they are told.

If you are not able to work out what that means then maybe you shouldn't have children

Wait until they are teenagers and live in noise cancelling headphones. They can’t even hear you ask!
I have resorted to text message before now.

Chaz I have resorted to texting mine too lol

@mosquitofeast
The OP’s child is 4. She is in the process of teaching them to do what they are told.

My four year old is still fully entrenched in the terrible twos. He fights every attempt at independence, so no, he wouldn’t even attempt to put on his socks the first time I asked.

Sometimes I hate the sound of my own voice repeating the same things time and time and time again so much that I cry.
As much as I cannot WAIT for them to go back to school I am dreading the morning routine of
teeth teeth teeth hands hands hands teeth socks socks socks have your got your bag? Where's your bag? Teeth? TEETH?! Socks socks hair hair hair shoes please shoes shoes SHOES PLEASE SHOOOOOOOEEEEESSSS

Mine are 6 and 10

Can we discuss more the pitfalls of an overly compliant child? That will make me feel better when I yell “have you got shoes on” only to head “I’m doing it now yelled back” because I know that means not a chance.

I once didnt check and he was in the car (parked down the street!) before he said he didn’t have socks and Shoes on! Did he have pockets stuffed with plastic dinosaurS though? Of course, can’t leave the house without them.

I wonder what technique mosquitofeast has where his/her children only ever had to be asked once to do something. Saying if you can’t work out what it means to parent your children that you shouldn’t have them is ridiculous. How one person parents a child is completely different to another. Hence the hundreds of books, websites and gurus on how to raise children. If it was so obvious those wouldn’t exist.
I had to check it was the same person but he/she is also the person who’s posted on another thread implied that eating fruit gave you diabetes and that pudding was nutritionally better for a baby than fruit. So I think I would listen to the many others on this thread who said it is normal for a 4 year old to needed to be told multiple times to do something.

Totally normal. I agree with the comment about giving short orders instead of long requests, like ‘Socks on now!’ instead of ‘please put your socks on’.

One thing I’ve found that helps is telling DD (who is 5) what we’re doing next. So as she finished her breakfast this morning, I said ‘Next we are going upstairs to get dressed and brush teeth’, then while she was doing her teeth I said ‘Next we’re going downstairs to get socks and shoes on ready to go out to the park’. She still doesn’t do things the first time, but at least she’s had some advance warning!

Yes YABU
Until around 6 or 7 many children need to be led by the nose to each activity or you have to ask them multiple times.

Bloody 42 year old always has to do just this thing before he does the thing I ask...

I call DH 'Lemmy'. Because it's always 'lemme just finish this, lemme just do that'. He's 43.

At least it's not just me - DD is very much at the "no" stage at the moment and she is 4 - takes a good bit of arguing, negotiating - sometimes extortion on her part to get her to do anything! It's psychological warfare at its best (I think working from home and parenting has finally got to both of us 🤣)

My 6yo does things first time if I stand over him and make him. Otherwise no. I'm hoping it's just being 6 and not the strong faffing gene on DH's side of the family coming through.

School and home are different. I saw MIL in action as a Reception class teacher before she retired. She doesn't use the same tone of voice with DS.

Oh goodie a teacher comes along to explain what we are all doing wrong 😉 Do you even have kids?As a teacher you surely must understand that children react differently in different settings. My 12 year old is a model student in school, honestly you would think he is a saint. At home some days he will do his homework straight away other days I have to repeat myself 5 times. He is good natured at home but selective hearing comes to mind. It has nothing to do with how good a parent someone is. My guess is you are a youngish teacher with no kids herself who thinks she can solve every problem by telling parents they need to parent. You will learn.

Unfortunately, when you ring home to let a parent know that their child is not doing as they are told, you get the same hedging, excuses, prevaricating, and supposedly clever sneers, rather than parents taking responsibility for their laziness

Laziness? Or having to work more than one job, different / longer hours, being a lone parent, have to run a household, having more than one child, children with special needs, caring for elderly relatives? Nah - we all just sit on our arses watching soaps, smoking & swigging Stella from cans to bother with boring parenting shite. I stick DS in a cupboard under the stairs while I go to bingo.

Mosquitofeast, your misunderstanding of child development and parenting is staggering. You are intne wrong profession.

My guess is you are a youngish teacher with no kids herself who thinks she can solve every problem by telling parents they need to parent. You will learn.

Pretty sure you’ve hit the nail on the head there. The ‘best’ parents are always those who don’t have kids yet. Then reality gives them an enormous kick up the arse. 😳

If course they 'could' put their socks on when asked, but 'muhahahahaha' they won't

Has any child in the history of the universe ever done something the first time they're asked?

@mosquitofeast have you ever thought maybe you're a crap teacher?

On behalf of former 4 year olds everywhere: fuxake mummy don't be so rude and speak to me as politely and calmly as you would to a colleague. Oh, and don't be so rude to daddy either.

Mosquito cldren can change their behaviours at the drop of a hat. Eg one day they love bananas the next nothing can convince them they like them. My son then age 3 refused to put shoes on,hidunder the table no amount of parenting could get him to put them on. Then suddenly he did. Children have their own opinions and minds.