To expect a 4 year to do something first time I ask?

[gobananasgo]

Like put their socks on (something they can easily do) or AIBU and or is asking 10 times standard ( which increasingly frustrated voice.?) I do offer help if asked,

Thank God it's not just my 4 yo!

DS8 has mastered getting his shoes on first time of asking.

Getting dressed, brushing his teeth, coming to get dinner, we are still working on.

One step at a time

YABU.
My 9 and nearly 11 year old don’t do things the first time we ask.
Be prepared to be a parrot for the next 14 years.
🦜 🦜 🦜
Squawks ‘who’s a pretty boy then?’

Anyone else sick and tired of hearing their own voice? I am. My voice has changed too. It’s tougher. I’ve never been much of a talker and always spoke softly. Not anymore.

Conversation with my 3.5 year old this morning just before need to leave to walk her sister to school:
“Can you please put your shoes on Dd2”

Dd2: “yes, I can” unmoving.
No shoes on her feet because in her mind she just heard me ask if she knew how to get her shoes on, she does and she answered me.
Not that I need her to go and put the bloody things in right now.

So now everything is said drill marshal style “dd2, go and put your shoes on your correct feet.” (Because she had also just shoved one on her hand before and then argued that she had her shoes on)

Hahahahahahahaha

My 15 year old can’t do that

When they did the hearing tests at school I was convinced that my 5 year old would fail. Nope, hearing fine-just selective

I have just instituted a reward system for my 10 year old to basically bribe him to listen me and DH and do as we ask. YANBU to want him to listen and do what you ask when you ask it. YABU to expect it to actually happen anytime in the next decade.

Try clicker training?!

15 year old.. Put your shoes on.. Why.. Because we are going out.. Where? Driving range.. Why.. Just put your shoes on please.
I'm. In the middle of a game.. How long will it be.. 10 mins.. Then you'll.put your shoes on??? Sigh eye roll.. Yes mother
30 mins later have you got your shoes on.. No.. Why not.. Why would I because you said you would 20 mins ago.. Did I.. Where are we going..??

So you've got a long road ahead of you

My 5.5 is the same

permanent batman voice (as opposed to the first request Mary Poppins voice

Yes YABU. My teens can about manage it if there is no time constraint.

As a teacher, this is a really depressing thread.

So many parents that seem to just passively accept that children can't be expected to do as they are told.

No wonder so much school time is wasted on bad behaviour. No wonder so many children have told me they learn more doing online lessons from home away from the children that can't do as they are told.

Parent your child, FGS

My children are very compliant in school @mosquitofeast just not at home. Which is probably just as well as a whole life instantly obeying orders doesnt sound like much fun. People should allowed to think and express preferences at some point, esp when they are not in a group of 30.

@mosquitofeast It is so much more complicated than just expecting a child to follow instructions the first time. It takes 25 years for the prefrontal cortex to develop for starters. The OPs child is 4 so no being asked to do something more than just once is the norm.

Posted too early- last sentence should be: OPs child is 4 so being asked to do something more than just once is the norm not poor parenting.

This is a serious rage trigger for me! Day in day out asking my dd to do the same things over and over gradually getting more enraged with each ask and she still doesn’t do it! Glad it’s not just me! Haha

[quote Bluebellpainting]@mosquitofeast It is so much more complicated than just expecting a child to follow instructions the first time. It takes 25 years for the prefrontal cortex to develop for starters. The OPs child is 4 so no being asked to do something more than just once is the norm.[/quote]
nonsense. Most children do what they are asked. The 20-25% who don't hold back everybody, every minute of every day in school

OP my six year old’s total inability to get dressed is the bane of my life.

I realised that it just isn’t a priority for him, so it just washes over. So it’s become ‘when you get dressed, you can then do x,y,z’.

Gosh @mosquitofeast anyone would think kids are not identical. Or that they develop at different rates. You'll be telling us most learn to read perfectly fine at 5 but some cant manage it next.

I repeat the child is 4. It is much more complex than giving an instruction and expecting it to be followed. How complex is the request, allowed adequate processing time. Age appropriate request, broken down into stages if needed. Given in a way the child understands. Children don’t understand verbal instructions in the same way adults do- research has shown this. I was told during training that one of the key things when giving instructions was to check understanding and repeat instructions to allow the person to take it on board.

I think I asked 10 times for my tweens to get breakfast this morning 🙄

I am forever going to think of it as my “batman voice” now. That might even help me enjoy the endless, slowly escalating repetition more. Maybe.

@Porcupineinwaiting

Gosh *@mosquitofeast* anyone would think kids are not identical. Or that they develop at different rates. You'll be telling us most learn to read perfectly fine at 5 but some cant manage it next.

Teaching children to do as they are told is one of the most fundamental and basic requirements of a parent.

Unfortunately, when you ring home to let a parent know that their child is not doing as they are told, you get the same hedging, excuses, prevaricating, and supposedly clever sneers, rather than parents taking responsibility for their laziness