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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To desparately want to go abroad this summer.

104 replies

Asvan · 06/08/2020 23:35

Hi,

I have got a very big dilemma. Since lockdown, me, huby and three kids have barely been out of the town where we live. We have done local walks etc but not had any major days out or trips away.

For the past two days, my huby has been looking online at holidays and there are some really good deals for Turkey in the first week of September. The huby and kids really want to go but I'm really anxious about it because of the current situation. I am just so worried about what may happen if someone at the hotel we stay at gets infected or if one of us gets infected. I've put my foot down and said no (in a covid free world I would have jumped at the chance), but now i feel so awful. Deep down i really do want to go but i don't know if it's worth the risk and extra stress. Also my mum would be mortified if we want so that worries me a little bit too.

Can anyone offer me some guidance please? What should I do?

OP posts:
LEELULUMPKIN · 07/08/2020 02:52

DH, DS aged 15 and I were supposed to be going to the USA for 3 weeks in September but obviously that is no longer happening.

We are now planning to go somewhere for the first week for just a week so that if we have to quarantine on our return we have the time to do so.

No idea where we will end up (definitely NOT Turkey) but we won't be booking it until a couple of days before, fully aware that things could change in an instant even that close.

Your Mum's opinion is irrelevant. You and your DH are grown adults, her mortification shouldn't even come into your decision.

Thepilotlightsgoneout · 07/08/2020 06:27

I’d wait until the week before and make a decision then.

EssentialHummus · 07/08/2020 06:49

I wouldn't. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. We may be closer to the beginning or end of it, but we don't know for the moment. We also don't know when a vaccine will be available. Likewise which countries' t&t systems are actually effective, and which are reporting accurately. It was all of two months ago that we were still doing the 1m/2m/mask/no mask hokey cokey. With any sense of perspective I don't think now is the time to hop on a plane for a non-essential journey.

And I say this as someone who has had a very, very difficult 6 months and could use a break.

SteelyPanther · 07/08/2020 06:52

I personally don’t think some countries are telling the true infection rate in their country as they need the money from tourism too much.

HellSmith · 07/08/2020 07:04

We’re all desperate for a holiday OP, but I wouldn’t risk it for Turkey, Greece, or Spain which appear to be the only places that’ll have us.

refusetobeasheep · 07/08/2020 07:04

We're just back from a week in Lemnos, Greece. It was wonderful. Lemnos has not had one single case of COVID - rather brave of them to allow tourists back on the island given that. One member of every household was tested on arrival. So I think the only risk is if you have it / others on your flight had it so you have to quarantine when on holiday. My DC tried wind surfing, sailing and water skiing. It was so amazing to see her regain all the enthusiasm and lust for life that has been somewhat blunted during lockdown. We booked on the Tuesday and flew out on the a Thursday, with a 50 per cent discount - best decision I have made in a long time!

Eng123 · 07/08/2020 07:07

I don't think that the particular country you are in matters. So the whole "abroard" argument is a bit odd. The higher risk aspect is flying but I dare say the airlines are not packing everyone in tightly. Most countries likely to be visited have good healthcare available but worth checking. On balance why not? It may be better to remain in the EU rather than Turkey as the EHIC is still valid (until the end of the year when the idiot Brexiteers tear it up!) if you are concerned regarding health care access

refusetobeasheep · 07/08/2020 07:17

Just to report, Gatwick was largely empty, so social distancing easy. All wearing masks. The flight was about three quarters full, but again all wearing masks and used our hand sanitizers frequently. Note for Greece you have to fill in an online form 48 hours before you go and get a code that you show at uk airport and greek airport - you will not be allowed in the country if you have not done it. Some people were turned away at Gatwick and had to fly out later because of this. Also now have to do an online form before return to the UK - again show proof when arrive in UK although I think it's just a fine and fill in rather than not letting you in at uk. Both forms ask where you are staying and for contact details etc for tracing if needed.

Cuddling57 · 07/08/2020 07:29

I wouldn't book it yet. Things are changing daily with new countries added to the quarantine list overnight.
I agree with the pp saying countries not reporting their true number of cases and that has included the UK. You can't say a country/island has had NO or low cases, only no or low reported cases.

CasuallyMasculine · 07/08/2020 07:36

Has your DC’s school not said that anyone going away needs to factor in quarantine to ensure they’re ready to go back when schools open?

Our school has said that - to parents and staff alike.

Weallfloatdownhere · 07/08/2020 07:38

I’m in Turkey at the moment, been here almost a week. Having a great time. I definitely recommend to book last-minute (ish). Turkey was not where we originally booked but we had 2 holidays cancelled at short notice hence ended up here. It’s been great to get away.

Ponoka7 · 07/08/2020 07:38

"You could get ill and find hospitals difficult in another country"

I hate Turkey. I got stuck going there because a close friend set up a business out there. The private hospitals are really good. As is their private dental services, which is why they're so popular.

Are you going to be returning straight back to work? That's what puts the transmission rates up, so just be considerate to others on return, even when shopping etc. The Airport and the plane are risky areas because of the amount of time we are all in them. The holiday itself wouldn't bother me, it's largely outdoors.

Your Mum doesn't get an opinion. My Adult DD has booked Europe for November, I'd rather she wasn't going, but I haven't voiced that.

HairyToity · 07/08/2020 07:41

I personally wouldn't do it. Not worth the risk.

heartsonacake · 07/08/2020 08:27

I think you’d be silly to take the risk, and I’d hope you wouldn’t be after any help if you were stranded or something went wrong because you went there knowing that could happen.

itsaratrap · 07/08/2020 08:29

Unreasonable wanting to go, no. We could all do with a holiday.

Unrealistic, yes completely, sorry.

Lockheart · 07/08/2020 08:36

You're not unreasonable at all, but I think we're all going to have to get used to travelling abroad a bit less than we have been.

We've been very lucky as a society to have regular holidays abroad for the last 50 years or so, but we will have to tone down. If not for Covid-19 then for the sake of the environment and the countries we do love to visit.

Covid-19 has writ large the dangers of having an economy reliant on tourism. Our penchant for mass, cheap holidays destroys local cultures and hollows out local economies.

heartsonacake · 07/08/2020 08:39

We've been very lucky as a society to have regular holidays abroad for the last 50 years or so, but we will have to tone down. If not for Covid-19 then for the sake of the environment and the countries we do love to visit.

Lockheart No, I won’t be doing that. I think it’s silly to go abroad at the moment due to the Covid situation, but once that’s passed I will be regularly jetting off again.

You can reduce your trips abroad if you want but it’s not your job to try and force others to do the same.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 07/08/2020 08:45

Many of us are desperate to go away for many it’s too see family we are missing out families

If you do you have to accept that there might be last minute changes (closures of hotels, cancellations or changes of flights) and that the holiday maybe not be stress free

And take into account the more we move around the more the virus does it’s as simple as that. Don’t moan about future lockdowns

the only reason the tourist industry hasn’t completely shut down is economics some areas of Europe and Turkey that are already struggling are desperate for tourist and look at what happening the numbers are increasing

BluebellsGreenbells · 07/08/2020 08:54

Turkey actually have lower infection and death rates than us

I hate this selfish argument.

Firstly it might not be true.

Secondly why would you risk infecting their country?

WhereamI88 · 07/08/2020 08:56

If you go, book it at the very last minute. Lots will change between now and September. Wait until a few days or even the day before to choose a destination - research, have a few in mind and hit book on whichever one looks fine at the time. It'll minimize (not eliminate) the risk.

I just came.back from holiday. It was amazing, hot, quiet, the airports and the planes were absolutely spotless, lots of measures to socially distance, everyone was wearing a mask. Flew Alitalia which leaves a seat empty between people and the flight attendants were very vigilant.

I wanted to holiday in the UK, I really did. But the hotels and B&Bs were absolutely extortionate. We wouldn't have been able to afford anything remotely decent and I'm not spending my one holiday this year in a run down smelly bed and breakfast. It was go abroad or stay home (which we were ready to do, had days out planned etc)

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 07/08/2020 08:57

I wouldn’t necessarily pick Turkey in this situation as I’m not sure they are the country to best look after you if you do need to quarantine there, be moved to a different hotel etc.

I’d go for somewhere like France if you have to go abroad.

That said I postponed my holiday in Holland until after the pandemic but I was due to travel with older people so slightly different.

WhereamI88 · 07/08/2020 09:03

And just to say, one of the reasons we ended up going away, was because we don't believe we are close to the end of it. I don't think holidays the way we were doing it before are a realistic prospect even next year. We're all sitting here waiting for a miracle that brings us back to normal but I don't think that'll happen for years. So might as well take advantage of whatever we can do. That was our thinking and we were fully prepared to take the risks, took our work laptops with us in case we got stuck out there, booked hotels as we went along etc. And we stuck with mainland Europe so that if something happens and flights are cancelled, we can drive back.

missbecks90 · 07/08/2020 09:06

I personally wouldn't go this year, especially if your going the first week in sept, when you come back you, hubby & kids are going for have to quarantine for 14 days which means the kids are going to miss the first two weeks back at school.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 07/08/2020 09:07

It’s irrelevant that Turkey or any other country we choose to visit might have a lower death rate

The more we move about the more the virus spreads it’s not rocket science the more we try to contain the virus the less it spreads

That’s why the world over had lockdowns

We can’t live like that forever we had to adjust but no one has to go on holiday abroad it’s a nice choice we have (seeing family is different)

FrodosRing · 07/08/2020 09:08

The guidelines are still to avoid non essential travel.
I would not go abroad at the moment.