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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let you into a secret about being slim.....

788 replies

Yellow1793 · 06/08/2020 23:19

I’m 5’2” and an untoned size 10. Over the last year or so (lockdown excluded) I’ve spent extended amounts of time with 4 different female friends, who are all taller, slimmer and considerably more toned than me. Aside from the fact that they all exercise at least 5 times a week, they also eat like birds. Their lifestyle revolves around making healthy choices, every single day, and I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry. One of them regularly skips lunch. Another never has more than 2 glasses of alcohol in one sitting. Another always eats about 30% less than I do.....last time I was with her she had a small pasta portion for her lunch whilst serving me 3x the amount of pasta she had AND 2 sausages. No wonder she is tiny. None of them calorie count or talk about diets because their lifestyle choice is one big diet. I’d love to have their discipline.

OP posts:
lljkk · 10/08/2020 19:17

www.healthline.com/nutrition/how-many-calories-per-day#intake-averages

I put my numbers into that calculator and it came up with a bit less than I actually eat (without gaining weight). In fact, I seem to have lost weight recently (1.5 kg...). Some hill walking today so got thru about 3000 kcal.

Octopus37 · 10/08/2020 19:45

I just did the calculation and it came out as 1685 cals a day to maintain my weight but tbh I eat more than that, more like 2000 when I am maintaining. I have counted what I ate today for the first time in ages and its 1670 which to me is a very good day. I lost about 10 pounds earlier this year by dieting, probably about 1500 cals a day or a bit less if I could manage it. Find coping with being hungry quite difficult, although I do want to lose a bit more weight, currently 5ft5 and 9st2. I always find those threads where women say they eat 1200 to stay the same a bit depressing, cause whenever I try to eat that little I feel starving and can only maintain it for so long.

Rebelwithallthecause · 10/08/2020 19:48

I don’t mind the reduced rating but I live for a glorious bottle of red wine occasionally (multiple times a week) and that often leads to cheese or other delectable snacks

DemolitionBarbie · 10/08/2020 19:51

they also eat like birds

I'm not eating worms and catepillars for anyone.

PurpleDaisies · 10/08/2020 19:53

I'm not eating worms and catepillars for anyone.

I’m a fan of a gummy worm or Colin caterpillar.

Octopus37 · 10/08/2020 19:55

Chocolate caterpillar cake from M&S is the closest I get to bird like eating.

BeChuille · 10/08/2020 20:00

[quote FreekStar]@BeChuille- I give up- you obviously don't understand what average means![/quote]
No it's you that doesn't understand.
Confused

Do what works for you. Leave me alone now.

Dadmalenotawoman · 10/08/2020 20:05

When I eat more and move less I get bigger. When I eat less and move more I get smaller. There's no magic involved, it's just that different people have different metabolisms.

FreekStar · 10/08/2020 20:23

@BeChuille Sorry, but I don't recall telling you or anyone else to do anything!

BeChuille · 10/08/2020 20:54

I cannot recall who originally took offence and criticised me just for saying that I could not eat as much 2000 calories a day. I couldn't. ME. I don't know why that simple comment invited disagreement.

As I've said repeatedly, if it works for you great, but on a thread about ''the secret'' of being slim, I had to point out that eating 2000 calories a day is very definitely not that secret. If a secret exists at all.

Everybody is different. My secret is different from other people's secret.

I'm staying off these ''secret'' to being slim' threads from now on. There is so much out of date nonsense on them.

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/08/2020 00:15

Apparently I should eat 1821 to maintain weight and 1457 to lose weight.

I don’t think I can eat 1821 calories in a day.

When I was monitoring my calories through MFP the most I ate was around 1700 calories and I felt stuffed and would have really piled the pounds on if I had continued like that

The lose weight calories is nearer to what I eat normally.
Yet I don’t lose weight

Today I had a 1 cup of coffee this morning Then a takeaway veggie curry and rice about 8.30pm this evening and lots of water. It has been so hot
Never had a takeaway before

The only way I would have lost weight tomorrow would have been if I just hadn’t eaten. There again I have not eaten for 3 days straight when I have been ill and not lost an ounce.

I don’t think you can say all women my age and my height will lose weight on a set amount of calories

It goes much further than that.

FreekStar · 11/08/2020 08:59

@Oliversmumsarmy You are an exception to the rule though- most women would lose weight on what you say you eat.

FreekStar · 11/08/2020 09:00

Do you exercise?

FreekStar · 11/08/2020 09:01

Why do you go all day without food and then eat late at night?

PhoneLock · 11/08/2020 09:41

Why do you go all day without food and then eat late at night?

Some people just do that. Pre WFH, DH only ate one meal in the evening and had done for years. He managed to gain weight doing it to, which is interesting considering he was effectively doing the 16:8 "intermittent fasting" diet.

I suspect DH started doing because he would rather sleep than make time for breakfast or making lunch.

PhoneLock · 11/08/2020 09:42

doing it too.

Flatwhite32 · 11/08/2020 09:56

@Yellow1793 I'm slim (5'4 and usually 8 stone, but heavier at the moment as I'm 18 weeks pregnant). I don't eat like your friends at all! They must be hungry! A typical day for me would be:

-Cereal (mostly weetabix or bran flakes) or toast. Fruit. Maybe some natural yoghurt too.
-A mid morning snack. Often a carb like a brioche roll.
-Lunch - an example would be a tuna baguette with lots of salad in it, crisps, veggie sticks, fruit. Occasionally a small choc bar.
-Mid afternoon snack - sometimes something sweet like biscuits or cake, or sometimes something like a crumpet with butter. I often try to eat some raw veg too like pepper or carrot just to up my veg intake.

  • Dinner - home cooked meal (always containing veg) like spaghetti Bol (sometimes meat, sometimes the veggie version) with salad and garlic bread, a stir fry, pasta bake, sausage and mash, veggie chilli, veggie curry etc. I try to have 2 or 3 veggie nights a week, mainly to cut down on meat consumption.
  • Sometimes I have cereal before bed.

We probably have around 2 takeaways a month.

I don't drink a lot of fruit juice or alcohol (obviously no alcohol at the moment!) but that's not through choice, I'm just not that bothered. I like a nice, cold glass of water!

As for exercise, I enjoy walking, but I don't do planned exercise like the gym, classes etc. I don't enjoy it. I also have a 2 year old, very active toddler to chase around, so don't sit down that much!

However, I have had a petite build my entire life like my mum, so some of it is definitely genetics.

SerenityNowwwww · 11/08/2020 10:01

When I was younger (from teen to mid 30s) - I am 5”7 - my weight was always 8-8.5 stone (it sure what that is in real money). Now it’s 65kilos. Babies and age does that.

formerbabe · 11/08/2020 10:13

@Flatwhite32

I would be huge if I ate what you do...I've never been 8 stone in my adult life. To remain at 9 stone, I ate one small meal a day. I once got down to 8 and a half stone but that's when I had a tooth problem and physically couldn't eat for two weeks!

I never have takeaways, alcohol, fizzy drinks, never eat three meals a day

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/08/2020 10:16

I don’t intentionally miss meals I just either find I am not hungry so don’t eat or I am out or doing something so think I will eat when I get back plus I don’t tend to eat breakfast.

Most days I do 8000-10,000 steps sometimes more sometimes a little less.
If I have the time I do try and do a walk/route march around a circuit which is about 3 miles. Depending what I am doing I probably do that 2 or 3 times per week.

I have arthritis so going for a run or any form of high impact exercise is a definite no and finding the time is hard to do any formal workout as I have such irregular hours.

I am out at the moment waiting for a place to open. Then I will go to another place then another and again won’t get back till early evening

Hotandknackered · 11/08/2020 10:22

@formerbabe genuinely curious don't mean this to sound goady honestly. Are you happy eating 1 meal a day are you hungry? I just wonder if this level of control yo stay a specific weight has an impact on quality of life? Or perhaps its worth it for you or no big deal? I'd be starving is all!

Flatwhite32 · 11/08/2020 10:23

@formerbabe I am very lucky! I'm sure one day it'll all catch up with me!

lilgreen · 11/08/2020 10:52

@serenity it doesn’t have to be that way. Sure it’s hard cooking for everyone and it feels like you’re constantly around food and finishing leftovers. But I’m approaching 50, 2 teens and still within 7 lb of my early 20s weight. I’m currently losing that extra by eating lots of veg, some lean meat/fish, nuts, yoghurt and pulses. I’m full but this heat certainly helps.

lilgreen · 11/08/2020 10:55

Oh and that’s 3 meals a day. No idea on cals but yesterday:
B- grated apple, cinnamon, blueberries, nuts, yoghurt, espresso
L: avocado salad with humous, a few cold wholewheat pasta twists, peach.
D: grilled small turkey steak, butter bean tomato and pepper stew, sautéed kale.
I never eat after dinner at about 6/7.

formerbabe · 11/08/2020 10:56

@Hotandknackered

The one meal a day was in my late teens, early twenties...I had a healthy bmi but was curvy, certainly not skinny. I'm now overweight..size 14-16. Yes, I was often hungry on my one meal a day...I naturally have a huge appetite. I'm rarely full up on even a big meal but I was vain and liked nice clothes...I still do. It's only through sheer will power that I'm overweight and not morbidly obese.