To let you into a secret about being slim.....

[Yellow1793]

I’m 5’2” and an untoned size 10. Over the last year or so (lockdown excluded) I’ve spent extended amounts of time with 4 different female friends, who are all taller, slimmer and considerably more toned than me. Aside from the fact that they all exercise at least 5 times a week, they also eat like birds. Their lifestyle revolves around making healthy choices, every single day, and I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry. One of them regularly skips lunch. Another never has more than 2 glasses of alcohol in one sitting. Another always eats about 30% less than I do.....last time I was with her she had a small pasta portion for her lunch whilst serving me 3x the amount of pasta she had AND 2 sausages. No wonder she is tiny. None of them calorie count or talk about diets because their lifestyle choice is one big diet. I’d love to have their discipline.

How do people get their 5 (minimum) fruit & veg a day on 2 meals?

Easily. By basing your meals primarily around fruit & vegetables, instead of around meat and carbs. For example, I might have a fruit salad for breakfast with an apple, a kiwi, half an orange, & a banana. A small dollop of greek yoghurt, & a small handful of homemade granola.
For another meal, I regularly have homemade minestrone with pesto. I make a big pan of it, very filling, about 90 calories per large bowl. I don't tend to add any beans etc. Can make it more filling if you do use beans, or add some mince at the start.
Or, another regular staple is a quinoa & vegetable bake. I use about a 1/8 cup of quinoa (not very much) & the rest is veg & herbs. Very tasty & filling. Can also do it with rice, bulgar wheat, couscous, or tiny pasta like orzo.
Or, obviously, salad.
Most importantly, determination to find ways to enjoy vegetables.

A previous poster, who is only an inch shorter, described herself as "quite a bit overweight" despite being a size 10.

That was me. When I was last wearing size 10 jeans, my BMI was 27-28. Before that I had been wearing size 12 jeans, which were getting tight but still fitting and I was most likely obese. (I didn't weigh myself until I'd lost weight and when I did my BMI was 29.5, so presumably I had been obese.) When my BMI was 26.5 I could fit into 15 year old size 10 jeans or modern size 8. Up until March of this year, I had a BMI of 22 and was wearing size 4 jeans from Primark. I've been unwell since then and am on medication linked to weight gain, so am now wearing size 6 jeans, which sounds tiny but my BMI is 24.5.

Vanity sizing is real. For all of my late teens, 20s and early 30s, I was a size 10. I was slowly gaining weight through that time and the size 10 I wore at 18 would absolutely not have fit me at 32. But when I bought new jeans, I always bought a 10. In that time I had reached an unhealthy level of weight, that I know now was negatively impacting my ability to do physical things. But I naively thought I couldn't possibly be getting heavier as I was still in a size 10. I was just either putting on muscle, when I was working out or had lost my muscle tone, when I wasn't. In my late 30s, I went up to a 12. I was unhappy about that, I'd lost a lot of weight when my DS was a baby but piled it back on and then some as he got older. But I still told myself I was just 12 and it was fine, all the while I trundled towards obesity. I know that the blame for that ultimately lies with me but vanity sizing really, really helped me lie to myself.

The reality is that you can no longer tell anything really about someone's weight depending in clothing size. The odds are that a short person in a modern 10, very probably is overweight and not just untoned. At a size 6 now, I know I'm both a little overweight and untoned, and am slowly working my way back to what's right for me while trying not to retrigger the post viral issues that kept me mostly in bed for over 3 months. Not because I want to fit back in my size 4 jeans. But because before I got sick I had become capable of things that were a complete dream to me, handstands, 360˚ jumps on skates, etc and I want that physicality back.

I’m bmi 22 and if I feel my clothes tightening I’ll weigh and it’s normally 5lbs by the time I’ve noticed. This puts my bmi over 23. It usually follows a period of less activity and more eating(no surprise there)Still not overweight but that’s when I act. I think that’s the secret. Wouldn’t dream of buying bigger clothes.

@alittleprivacy it’s where you hold your weight and your shape. I’m more of a pear and at bmi 22, size 10 jeans are v tight on my bum, ok on waist. My friend is a size 18, but apple shape with small hips and slim legs, size 10 jeans will fit her legs and bum but won’t do up.

@lilgreen That's certainly true to some degree. I'm hourglass shape and when I put weight on it is very evenly all over. I used to think that was lucky as it's very forgiving. I can put on a stone or two and it's not super noticeable as I still keep my shape and my hip-waist-breast ratio always stays the same. But now I think it's actually a bit of a curse because not noticing that you've put on weight makes it very, very easy to find yourself at really unhealthy levels while still thinking it's all fine and I'm just a bit untoned.

I agree. I am straight up and down, no waist and carry any weight around my middle. I could get a size 6 jeans to fit my legs and bum but can't do them up.

That was me. When I was last wearing size 10 jeans, my BMI was 27-28. Before that I had been wearing size 12 jeans, which were getting tight but still fitting and I was most likely obese

You must be very short? I'm 5"3 and wear anything from size 8 to 12, but generally a size 12 jeans. I don't look hugely overweight, but I am a bit squishier than I would like at BMI 24. If my BMI was 27-28 I would be really big and would no way fit into a 12, even with vanity sizing.

*Your appetite will decide whether youre not bothered about food and forget to eat, or, it’s all you can think of and youre never satisfied"
I fall under the second category. If I ate what my brain is telling me to go for, I would without a doubt be obese. I think of food most day long and always feel I could just have more.

Its not genetic, it's choice. I've opted for Alice for telling myself no a lot because I can't stand being overweight, unhealthy and liking myself contributes to my happiness.

It's very hard but so are many things in life.

I'm finding it much harder now I'm older. My eating habits haven't changed that much (always around 1200 - 1500 cals) but when I hit around 47 I suddenly had to be much more careful.

It's a struggle every day - I don't deny myself anything really but just eat small amounts of everything, all counted in, no breakfast ever and walking (at the moment) for exercise.

I get quite pee'd off when someone says "it's ok for you - you're slim". It's not ok - it's bloody hard and it's relentless. It's also for life. .

I bought a next skirt in 2009, size 6. It still fits me very snugly on a "thin" day. Bought another similar style skirt a couple of years ago and it falls down without a belt. Same with 2 pairs of shorts. Vanity sizing is fine if you're a size 12 and you can fit into a 6 or 8 but I think I'm more like a size 8 and their smallest size is too big! (I dont have a tiny waist as I'm fairly straight up and down figure)

I don't see it as "depriving myself" to not have cake or a bacon sandwich. Cakes are usually too sickly and bacon is too salty, I can only have these things rarely and in small quantities or I don't enjoy them much. A cake isn't really instrumental to catching up with friends in a coffee shop? I don't really get peoples obsession with it. If you see being healthy and having a fulfilling life not constantly thinking about junk food as "sad and deprived", well, don't know what to say. I was much more miserable when i was chubby and obsessed with comfort eating than now, when I have a busy life doing things I like and don't think about food unless I'm actuallly hungry.

I'm normal weight and find it horrifying that people say they think about food all day. This would make me miserable. I think about food at regular mealtimes and have the odd snack.

I'm normal weight and find it horrifying that people say they think about food all day. This would make me miserable
You get used to it! A bit like thinking of your children all day long when you work and they are at nursery and you look forward to being with them again!

I'm normal weight and find it horrifying that people say they think about food all day.

I’m also a normal weight and I think about food all day. Love the stuff.

The odds are that a short person in a modern 10, very probably is overweight and not just untoned.
I'm 5'3 and an 8 or a 10 (depends on the shop). Just did my BMI and it's 21, I guess it depends where you carry your weight. I was always "straight up and down" but am more of an hourglass after 2 DC.

My DM is on a diet right now (wants to get her BMI down to 25 or less before winter - corona virus related!) she's eating unlimited fruit and veg and calorie counting everything else. It seems to be working really well but I think you have to be really disciplined with it.

Re fruit and veg:

Breakfast - plain yogurt or porridge with handful of berries plus chopped apple/banana/pear/peach/whatever. Or a smoothie with berries and/or half a banana

Lunch - either an easy salad (eg tomato, avocado, mozzarella, or watermelon and feta, or some sort of chickpea/lentils creation), or a handful of cherry tomatoes to accompany your sandwich; a piece of fruit for afterwards or a snack.

Dinner - eat a big salad as a starter; eg green salad with cucumber, avocado, spring onions - or a vegetable soup in winter. You'll up your veg intake and also won't be able to manage such a big portion of your main course. Win-win. This is quite a normal way to eat in European countries and makes sense on many levels.

@SisyphusAndTheRockOfUntidiness so you skip lunch and your main meal has only 90 calories?

@alittleprivacy I don't believe that you can be a size 6 and overweight (unless you are actually about 3 ft tall)

I don't necessarily think the small portion thing is deliberate. She serves herself the amount she knows will satisfy her. I am naturally small and eat basically whatever I want, buy my portions do tend to be smaller because I just can't physically eat as much as other people in one sitting. I'm genuinely not choosing small portions to maintain my weight, I just have a smaller appetite and probably that contributes to why I am smaller.

@FreekStar I don't believe that you can be a size 6 and overweight (unless you are actually about 3 ft tall)

Doesn't really matter what you believe, I comfortably fit in several pairs of size 6 jeans. And while my BMI is 24.6, so not technically overweight, I am carrying quite a bit of extra fat and have lost a huge amount of muscle. But a size 6 just doesn't mean what it used to. It has more in common with the size 10s I wore as a teenager than what we think of as a size 6.

I know what my body is at when it's in good condition, based on my physical abilities, not my jean size. That's one of the things people lose sight of big-time. When I'm really fit my body allows me to do really amazing things. When I'm overweight and out of shape, I can't. People talk about 'life being too short' as an argument for overeating and not exercising. But losing physical abilities fucking sucks. And most of us don't even know the extent of what we're missing out on.

You know that stupid saying, 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.' Well in reality nothing tastes as good as realising that you actually physically can do the things you always had a little fantasy about. And then bonus nothing ever tastes as good as the food you eat after that kind of physical activity. Life is actually too short to miss out on the full extent of joy that can be derived from our bodies and from food.

I was right then- you are not overweight.

you are not overweight

BMI has a wide range because different people are overweight at different amounts, a person can indeed be overweight at 24.6 BMI, I certainly am.

Overweight does not just mean meets the BMI definition, otherwise the criticisms about athletes would not be relevant at all.

No you aren't. I am a bit overweight. The BMI is a very blunt tool (just in the opposite way that most people think.) It has very, very broad parameters to account for body shape/muscle tone etc. If I had a BMI of 19, I wouldn't be classified as underweight but I absolutely would be. With a BMI of 24.5 and a middling level of lean muscle, I absolutely am overweight for my body shape. I am carrying too much visceral fat. Someone with a different body shape wouldn't be. I am.

Peoples bodies are so strange and different. My BMI is 24.5 and i wear a 14 so for me to wear a 6 my bmi would have to drop a lot!

I don't think that's the case for everyone. I was fairly thin a couple of years back. I didn't exercise and rarely watched what I ate. I didn't pig out, I ate in moderation. At one stage I was very thin but that was due to stress. I've put on weight now and would be slightly over weight but that has been caused by a mixture of medication I'm on which has caused changes in My metabolism(as well as age) My natural build is slim and the only time I've ever been over weight is when I've have taken medication for long periods.