To let you into a secret about being slim.....

[Yellow1793]

I’m 5’2” and an untoned size 10. Over the last year or so (lockdown excluded) I’ve spent extended amounts of time with 4 different female friends, who are all taller, slimmer and considerably more toned than me. Aside from the fact that they all exercise at least 5 times a week, they also eat like birds. Their lifestyle revolves around making healthy choices, every single day, and I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry. One of them regularly skips lunch. Another never has more than 2 glasses of alcohol in one sitting. Another always eats about 30% less than I do.....last time I was with her she had a small pasta portion for her lunch whilst serving me 3x the amount of pasta she had AND 2 sausages. No wonder she is tiny. None of them calorie count or talk about diets because their lifestyle choice is one big diet. I’d love to have their discipline.

I am BMI 19. I look like I eat what I want and I generally do. I eat wine and chocolate every day. BUT if you counted my calories, it comes to around bang on 2000 because my meals are healthy. There is space for treats.

Overweight people in the office are always asking how I manage to stay so slim and eat. The reality is I can see exactly why each of them are overweight, if you really observe habits, its not a mystery...

@Potatobug......I’m not sure you can say that someone who is a size 10 eats too much. Obviously I eat to much to be as slim and toned as they are, but as my mum has often said to me ‘how many fat siz

‘How many fat size 10 people do you know?’

Your appetite will decide whether youre not bothered about food and forget to eat, or, it’s all you can think of and youre never satisfied

I'm the latter unfortunately. I often eat a large meal and think I could easily eat the same again. I don't but I could. Like I said, if I ate everything I wanted I would be morbidly obese for sure. I think when slim people say they eat whatever they want, their wants are very different to mine.

‘How many fat size 10 people do you know?’

A size 10 from 20+ years ago? Not many. But in most modern size 10 I'm quite a bit overweight. In a modern 12 I'm pretty close to obese. I'm 5'1"

The secret to being slim is to never be fat in the first place

Too late.

While emotional/comfort eating has been mentioned a few times, I don’t think that those who don’t do it appreciate how incredibly difficult it is to resist the urges which lead to it. They are primal and powerful. The reason is that the impulse to eat in response to emotions rather than physical hunger is embedded in the subconscious mind. It has its origins in the learning of childhood, particularly of trauma.

Your conscious mind knows the excess weight is unhealthy, and decides you are going to swap pudding for fruit and not eat between meals. Your subconscious mind knows that food is love, or safety, or soothing - and knows it with a deep, ingrained, unshakable certainty. It’s not rational, and as the name implies it’s not conscious. It is incredibly difficult for the conscious mind to constantly overrule the subconscious mind, because the subconscious mind just keeps on and on and on and on insisting.

Think a young child who wants something, you say no, and they just keep on badgering. They will never, ever stop asking.

@puzzledobserver

That's so interesting. I was a skinny child until my mum died then I started comfort eating. Since then it's been a constant battle. Interestingly I remember as a child being taken to a dietitian...looking back I can't help thinking how bloody ridiculous. If you'd only treated the cause of my problem rather than the symptom that would have been much more helpful.

Not really a secret @Yellow1793 is it....

slimmer people eat less or move around more or drink less alcohol which is crammed with calories.... or all three together

Their lifestyle choice and you make yours...however, you are a size 10 so not big by any standard

A lot of people who say eat less move more do not understand the emotions surrounding food. Yes, they're correct but if you have never attached your emotions to food, you won't understand it. If you eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full and don't give food any headspace, then yes, it does sound easy.

however, you are a size 10 so not big by any standard

A previous poster, who is only an inch shorter, described herself as "quite a bit overweight" despite being a size 10.

It starts early op. My daughter is 12. She is slim, noticeably more so than lots of her peers. She generally eats substantially less than her friends (although put away a whole adult sized pizza at the weekend). She's also a lazy tyke and needs to be forced into sporting activities much preferring to sit on her backside watching Netflix.

I'm curvy 🤣. To be very slim I'm border line eating disorder territory (have been known to eat a spoon of mustard to quell hunger before now). Exercise helps with the toning but not the weight in my experience.

You do get used to eating less and then that becomes your normal. It requires discipline though (and I don't have much). I'm 5 weeks pp so eating a lot of cake whilst feeling miserable!!

I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry

This is absolutely 100% correct. The bigger challenge is redefining in your mind what a meal looks like, leaning to stop eating before you're full, not eating because you're bored, thinking of junk food as an occasional treat and not a part of everyday life etc etc etc.

The actual hunger is the easy bit. You will stop being as hungry if you eat less. Simple as.

have been known to eat a spoon of mustard to quell hunger before now

I do this too, also with horseradish. I crave strong flavours

Unfortunately it’s a fucking gannet.

It's a weird expression, isn't it? Anyone who has every tried feeding ducks and geese knows birds eat like pigs.

I am very underweight
BMI 17

I have always been very slim

I eat 2 meals a day. And they are BIG. I’m talking a HUGE salad, large fillet of salmon, fat free cottage cheese, kimchi, followed by couple of apples and half a money dew melon for lunch.

Dinner HUGE. Maybe an entire plate of steamed veg (adore steamed veg) and then a slow cooked casserole I have made (no oil etc, lean meat, chopped tomatoes, lentils) or a marks balanced ready meal.
Followed by other half of melon and another couple of apples.

Used to have couple of yoghurts a day but dairy doesn’t sit well with me.

I never eat chocolate crisps etc why? Genuinely don’t enjoy them. Could be a cupboard of them And they’d go off date.
However a bag of apples or a rainbow salad - it’s Wolfed down!

I very rarely drink, maybe half dozen times a year.

I exercise 5-6x a week.

Been like this for 20 years (late thirties).

If I go out - I will enjoy dinner Out but always choose one of the lowest fat and or calorie option. Why? Rich and covered in sauce dishes do nothing for me. Whereas a grilled chicken and avo salad with no dressing - bring it on.

Dessert at a restaurant.... berries, sorbet or just coffee.

It’s a way of life for me. And I love it. Feel very full of life. I have hypothyroidism so always a little when I read people explain they are heavily overweight because of their thyroid but accept that different strokes for different folks.

Good camping next week
For children I have packed crisps. For me - sweet chilli quinoa balls

For children sausages and rolls
For me mushroom sausages and sweet potato wraps

For children - Cornettos
For me - mini tub of raspberry sorbet

For us all - carrots, apples, berries

I an a size 8, and never sit still for longer than it takes me to eat a meal, drink a cup of tea. If I sit for longer I get fidgety and have to move. I've never been over weight, it even after babies really. I also workout and weigh train. My idea of a great weekend is to go for a hike. I eat mostly a healthy diet, don't have a sweet tooth, don't generally like cake or desserts, unless they're very good.
It's not complicated. The more sugar and junk you eat, the more you crave it. I've trained my children to not eat crap. It's sensible.

It really depends on your body type.

When not pregnant (currently a whale) I fluctuate between 8 stone 7 and 9 stone at 5"4 and stay a size 8 despite eating everything and drinking like a fish. I exercise yeah but a big part of that is walking everywhere with some yoga chucked in.

I think if people accept their body will naturally try to be a certain shape and size - which may not be the one you want - they would waste less time on silly diets and calorie counting and god awful "syns"

As a child, I was allowed sweets one day a week, chips (proper cups made from potatoes, not reconstituted potato) only on a Friday, and snacks were apples, or we waited for meals. I do not understand the constant need to eat sugary rubbish. It doesn't even taste good

*I am very underweight
BMI 17

I have always been very slim

I eat 2 meals a day. And they are BIG. I’m talking a HUGE salad, large fillet of salmon, fat free cottage cheese, kimchi, followed by couple of apples and half a money dew melon for lunch.

Dinner HUGE. Maybe an entire plate of steamed veg (adore steamed veg) and then a slow cooked casserole I have made (no oil etc, lean meat, chopped tomatoes, lentils) or a marks balanced ready meal.
Followed by other half of melon and another couple of apples.*

While you say your meals are "huge", you're describing mostly fruit and vegetables. (Which, if you wanted to put on weight, are probably not going to do a lot)
Do you eat any carbs, or fat?

@PurpleDaisies

Have one piece of cake a day instead of the whole cake

I’ve often wondered if it is better (or at least the same) to eat the whole cake so it is gone, then not have any more cake for the rest of the week. It’s the same total calories.

Okay .. we’re going with semantics. So you’ve “often wondered whether” rather than advocated.

Of course you’re not going to respond anymore because you said something ridiculous, won’t admit it, lost the argument so what else is there to do other than flounce?

Why don’t you sit down & muse on eating a whole cake at once, or better still, do it, see how you feel afterwards?

Absolute bloody rubbish saying taking in a vast amount of refined sugar in one go is probably the same as eating moderate amounts. You’ve made yourself sound utterly silly and you won’t just admit it.

And I answered your question as to the fact that a co trolled experiment could never take place. But you know that anyway.

@SandySix

I have really noticed how different two sisters can be. My eldest eats masses and is often starving. She probably eats 2500 calories a day and is slim. My youngest isn’t interested in eating and eats about 1250 calories a day at a guess yet is far chunkier than her sister. Metabolisms aren’t fair and equal!

This! My eldest DD has a horrendously unhealthily diet, does no exercise & is a size 8.. but my next DD normally only eats 2 meals a day, has a job where she is on her feet for most of a 12 hour shift and swims regularly, but she has always struggled with her weight ... it seems really unfair 🙄

I know lots of very slim people, I wouldn't say any of them "eat very little". We're all very active but we enjoy a good meal and cake when we fancy it. Most love a few drinks too. I think the main thing that makes a difference is that if you spend a lot of time being active you don't have the time for sitting around snacking. Comfort and boredom snacking is the big issue IMO.