Pissed off Yodel driver totally ignored long standing delivery instructions

[theprincessmittens]

This happened earlier today, but I'm still pretty annoyed about it, and would be even without the whole social distancing implications.

I ordered from Littlewoods, delivery was by Yodel. I've always - for the last 8 years - had on my Littlewoods account that deliveries are not to be left if I'm not there. For the background behind that - I'm physically disabled, bipolar and have C-PTSD, and don't want to be bothering my neighbours I don't know to retrieve parcels. I had to move from my previous block of flats a year ago as I had to take my downstairs neighbour to court for threatening to kill myself, my cats and my partner on numerous occasions. The housing association took him to court, but he was still doing things like urinating on the stairs to my flat. My anxiety got so bad I was scared to leave my flat (partner doesn't live with me).

I'm now in another HA flat, a block of four, I live on the upper floor and I'm very happy here but have deliberately kept a distance from my neighbours. Of the 3 other flats, I've spoken to say hello to the two guys who live in the ground floor flats below me, but the guy who lives across from me ignores you if you encounter him in the communal hall...which suits me fine. He moved in about 3 months after I did.

Today I went out to pick up medication. The Yodel delivery was about 30 minutes after I got back....she knocked on the door, I said thank you without opening it, expecting her to leave the parcel and go, like they are supposed to still be doing. Instead she just kept standing there, and knocked on the door again. I opened the door, and she said 'oh my son tried to deliver this parcel earlier, you weren't in...and they guy who lives across from you refused point blank to take the parcel' She was very taken aback when I said 'Good, I prefer that, I don't want to be having to bother my neighbours for my parcels'

She then started arguing about how he could have 'done me a favour' ...and then said 'well at least he could have done ME a favour, I wouldn't have had to come back' I just shut the door at that.

Am I wrong to be so flipping pissed off with her? I talked to a friend about complaining, but as she seems to be the Yodel delivery person for my area, is she going to know that it was me that complained? I really don't want this happening again.

[LtJudyHopps]

I’m sorry to hear of your difficulties but you are being unreasonable. It’s not clear if Yodel always deliver for you for Littlewoods but the instruction might not have been relayed. The son may not be familiar with it and didn’t know. How could either of them know of your PTSD?
Both my Hermes & DPD drivers have to take a photo of it in the open doorway, or safe place. Not sure of others as have only had deliveries from those or Royal Mail. You say you HAVE to let them in but that’s not true at all. She could buzz another flat and be let in, catch someone just going out or the door could be propped open. So she couldn’t just leave it on the doorstep safely.
If you were popping out knowing you had a delivery coming you should have left a note, or waited until later to go out if you absolutely don’t want it left with a neighbour. This poor woman probably isn’t on a lot of money, there’s nothing to complain about here.

[TitianaTitsling]

@Darkdecent thank you and your courier colleagues for keeping things moving and delivered over this period.

[GivenchyDahhling]

My experience of a lot of couriers is that the delivery instructions get ignored. It is quite complicated to find where I live but I always give really clear, easy instructions (where I am given the option to), yet 9 times out of 10 I get a call saying that they can’t find me - when they’re just at the entrance to the development and clearly haven’t even tried. So I wouldn’t bank on the courier having even seen your instructions in the first place.

But I do get where you’re coming from re the neighbours, especially so given your precious experience.

[StormzyInaDCup]

@theprincessmittens you are absolutely not being unreasonable. No one has to take parcels in for you. Delivery instructions are there for a reason and contact less delivery is still a thing!

💐 For all you've been through.

[TrainspottingWelsh]

Agree with @Ellisandra and @RaspberryToupee.

Your mh problems aren't something the delivery driver is aware of, and even if they were, they're somewhat irrelevant as far as the driver following the instruction not to leave goes. You want understanding for your difficulties in opening the door or collecting from a neighbour, but don't seem to have any for the delivery drivers that don't get paid for return journeys or hanging around outside your door waiting for you to open it.

Click and collect would be a more suitable alternative for you.

[jellyleg]

There's a lot of over sharing of personal info there just to tell us all about your delivery!!! But regardless of that yes you were being unreasonable.

[Casschops]

Op with all best will in the world, I think you are taking this too seriously. I think with PTSD its important to feel in control and wjen you perceive that it is not the case it can be real tough?
I don't think the lady meant to upset you. I'd let it be.

[latulipe]

You sound like bloody hard work.

[ChrisPrattsFace]

Ohh YABU. Very.

But I see that even though many have said you are, you’re going to disagree.
If it’s so important to you the add in the instructions ‘do not leave, do not leave with neighbour. please leave outside door after I have buzzed you in’

[Sparklesocks]

Your delivery drivers may have access to your preferred instructions but they don’t have knowledge of your medical background. She probably didn’t understand why you wouldn’t come to the door despite being in, and didn’t want to leave the parcel on the floor.

[PettyLittleThings]

If you haven't already, stick a note on your door for delivery drivers explaining what you would like them to do. It would help you and them.

[Sunnydazey]

OP, why couldn’t you have said through the door (after she had knocked the second time) “can you leave it there please and I will get it in a minute”
She wasn’t a mind reader

[Hercwasonaroll]

Overthinking much?

I can see why she was irritated. They don't get paid unless a delivery is made. It costs them more to come back to you.

They don't know your MH history. You want the parcel and most people accept parcels being left with neighbours.

[jessstan2]

@theprincessmittens

So any delivery instructions are okay to be ignored by the drivers? And they don't have to bother with social distancing anymore?

I already had severe anxiety after what happened at my previous flat. I don't want to have to bother my neighbours for any reason.

What happened at your previous flat is quite different to what happened today. All you had to say to the lady was,"Thank you", smile and take the parcel instead of getting into such an odd conversation.

Speak to Yodel again and stress that you want parcels to be left outside your flat door or else they come back another time when you are in. They will do that.

[2020iscancelled]

I think you’re being unreasonable because At the end of the day, the driver is just a person, doing a job. They haven’t woken up this morning with the intention of ruining your day and raising your anxiety. They probably felt they were doing a good thing in ensuring you got the parcel. Perhaps they got it wrong; but I doubt it was all done on purpose.

I’m sorry for your mental health struggles and I empathise but I do believe it makes perfectly normal situations seem magnified. Everyone knows deliveries are a pain in the arse and occasionally it goes a bit wrong, one way or another. I’d try and let this go, why would it make you feel better to complain over something which seems a genuine misunderstanding.

[missrks]

Perhaps kindly explaining the situation may have helped?

[TitianaTitsling]

Maybe a sign pointing to a box outside your door? That way the delivery driver can take a photo showing left as instructed?

[mouse70]

I do not understand. If there is an intercom system that you have to use to give access to building why can you not explain/tell them what you want doing with parcel when you let them in through first door.

[12309845653ghydrvj]

OP I’m sorry about your difficulties, but ultimately this is a situation of a person being paid a shit wage and you being rude to her when she is just trying to do her job. It’s not an ok way to treat people. If you had a problem with the way she delivered it? Says thanks and close the door. Times are really tough for a lot of people at the moment, you don’t know what’s going on in her life. She didn’t try to do any harm to you so just be nice.
It is totally unreasonable for you to expect everyone to read your mind and work to your preferences, especially when you have such little regard for them. If someone upsets you like this without meaning to? Most of the time it’s best to just say thanks and smile, and at least know you haven’t ruined their day.
And don’t expect people getting paid 50p a delivery to waste their time jumping through hoops for you. They’re not getting paid for that, if you feel so strongly about this then get them delivered to a delivery point. But please do not try to use mental health issues to justify being rude to delivery drivers, waiters, etc. That is beyond unreasonable and it’s not ok for you to be mean.

[BritWifeinUSA]

First world problem! Those folks are paid by the parcel. Having yo ho back to someone who isn’t home (why you couldn’t go out for your errand after they had delivered is a mystery) and they don’t make enough to cover their time and petrol to come back.

[theprincessmittens]

For the love of God, why are people not understanding it?

She wanted me to join in with her loudly bitching about my neighbour refusing to take a delivery in. In a place where he could have easily overheard it. I refused to do so.

She wasn't wearing a mask, didn't stay at least a metre away and handed the parcel to me. As far as I was aware, contact less delivery was still supposed to be happening.

But I'm the unreasonable one.

[theprincessmittens]

@BritWifeinUSA I'd waited in until 5.30pm, the pharmacy my medication was delivered to was closing at 6pm. I don't drive so had to get public transport.

[Ellisandra]

Again, @theprincessmittens genuine question - why post in AIBU when you don’t want anyone to actually answer that question?

[Washyourhands48]

What’s your previous neighbour pissing on your stairs got to do with Yodel? You sound unhinged.

[ineedaholidaynow]

With our delivery drivers they knock on the door and leave the parcel on the doorstep and then step back so we can open the door and acknowledge the parcel.

I would interpret do not leave as do not leave on the doorstep, so she wanted you to open the door as per your instruction.