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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Four-month-old baby demanding my attention

96 replies

tiredandunoriginal · 05/08/2020 15:25

I have a beautiful, happy, smiley, sociable baby who sleeps through the night, feeds well and loves a cuddle. I love him to bits and couldn’t feel more lucky! (Apart from post natal mental health issues - can’t have it all!).

I’m a FTM and just wondering if this is normal - he’s started constantly demanding my attention and it’s mainly mine, not DP’s. I haven’t been able to do anything today because even if I leave the room to go to the toilet he screams for me. But it’s more of a shouty cry as if he’s having a go at me for it! (He is such a character!).

Today has been especially hard because if I’m not doing what he wants (aka putting him down instead of holding him) he will cry. He knows what he’s doing because when he starts getting his own way he starts laughing and smiling! He’s so clever. Right now he’s laying next to me and I’ve just managed to make some lunch, but he won’t let me eat it! He doesn’t even properly cry it genuinely sounds like he’s just annoyed with me.

My question is - is this normal? I know he’s only four months old but just wanted to see if this is a phase, as I’m a FTM and not really sure, as he hasn’t been like it before. As I write this he is stamping his feet on the bed! Anything I can do to make it easier? Really appreciate any advice!

OP posts:
AntiAuntieAnty · 05/08/2020 15:45

I highly recommend the Sleepy Nico for that age. It's for 4 months +. Not too expensive and I found it brilliant. I tried on someone's baby Bjorn with dc in it to test it out and omg the difference! My back honestly was so uncomfortable compared to my Sleepy Nico. They're easy to work out as well and not too £££. Lifesaver for your situation. We rarely used a pushchair for dc1 because the sling was so good.

I swear I don't work for them Grin!

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 05/08/2020 15:46

very normal. Sling helps, I like my ring sling. My dc4 is nearly 4 months, I knew this phase was coming and it still drains me some days! She lives in the ring sling when she's fussy. Then I can look after the others and keep the house tidy ish

TheRosariojewels · 05/08/2020 15:46

Definitely normal. Unlikely to be just a phase...

RedRumTheHorse · 05/08/2020 15:47

Anything I can do to make it easier?

I used a sling for my DD and also moved her around in a rocker. If I couldn't fit her into the room e.g. toilet, the rocker would be placed in the doorway so she could see me. She would happily sit in the rocker playing with the toys on it until she was about 7 months then she tried to climb out of it.

I then got a playpen. The playpen lasted until 20 months then she worked out how to climb out of it.

Almostfifty · 05/08/2020 15:47

I just used to talk to mine when I was busy, put them on a mat on the floor under a mobile and got on with stuff. If they moaned, I sang, which usually made them cry. Grin

TopBitchoftheWitches · 05/08/2020 15:47

He doesn't know what's he's doing. He is four months old. He is a baby and that's what they do.

PeanutButterIsOneWord · 05/08/2020 15:49

I've found 4 months until they're crawling to be a really tough age. They need entertaining, but cant do much for themselves.

No extra advice, just letting you know it's normal and others also struggle with babies this age!

BoomyBooms · 05/08/2020 15:50

OP has anyone spoken to you about the Wonder Weeks app? Definitely get it, it guides you through multiple developmental leaps your baby will go through and how their behaviour changes each time. I find it spot on. My baby started behaving as you have described and I'm very sure it was the four month leap. It passes!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/08/2020 15:50

Yup my second did that until he was about one and was a good walker. I was very depressed. He just cried constantly and my nerves were in tatters.

Original poster
tiredandunoriginal · 05/08/2020 15:51

@mummyoneboy19 It’s a really long piece of fabric and I’ve tried to follow the instructions but it just sags, and doesn’t hold him in it!

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredandunoriginal · 05/08/2020 15:53

So sorry to hear that @Iminaglasscaseofemotion. I’m currently doing CBT and on medication so lucky to have lots of support. How are you doing now?

Thank you for the suggestions everyone - will definitely look at the other slings and apps, and a playpen! He’s currently on his playmat with his mobile and seems content!

OP posts:
AntiAuntieAnty · 05/08/2020 15:56

[quote tiredandunoriginal]@mummyoneboy19 It’s a really long piece of fabric and I’ve tried to follow the instructions but it just sags, and doesn’t hold him in it![/quote]
Oh yes, I used one of those and there is definitely a nack to them. Some of them aren't good as well. I'd get something with more structure. Either the one I mentioned, or something like a Tula or closer caboo. Ring slings are meant to be great as well, but I tried a friend's for a bit and found I much preferred my one.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 05/08/2020 15:58

[quote tiredandunoriginal]@GlummyMcGlummerson I was simply asking for advice, not complaining. There’s no need to be rude![/quote]
Sorry OP I didn't mean to come across as rude - but you are super lucky he's sleeping through! And it's very normal. People always suggest a sling but my DD hated hers so don't put your hopes on it.

Original poster
tiredandunoriginal · 05/08/2020 16:00

@GlummyMcGlummerson That’s ok, I might have been a bit sensitive! I know we are very lucky - he’s slept through since nine weeks, and he’s 17 weeks tomorrow! I’ll try one and see how it goes!

OP posts:
User478 · 05/08/2020 16:01

Have you got the Wonder Weeks app? It's good at giving you a clue what to expect (and if they aren't midway through a leap you can always blame teething!)

OneStepAheadOfTheToddler · 05/08/2020 16:02

It gets worse...

And then they start moving.

FlaviaAlbiaWantsLangClegBack · 05/08/2020 16:02

Your DS sounds adorable Smile I've got a Boba 4g carrier and I used it more than the pram for DS2. Wish I'd known about it for DS21, I had the massive length of fabric style for him - it just didn't work and I felt like I was being mummified by an octopus Grin

AlwaysLatte · 05/08/2020 16:04

Totally normal! I had to get a sling for both of mine as I couldn't put them down at all. They definitely grow out of it!

Hullabaloo31 · 05/08/2020 16:05

I see someone has already mentioned it, have a read about leaps and the Wonder Weeks app. If I remember correctly, 16 weeks is classic growth spurt/developmental spurt time and they have a big old grumpy week/fortnight to celebrate! Definitely look it up, saved my sanity a few times.

AlwaysLatte · 05/08/2020 16:07

I had an Ergobaby from Jojos.

jessstan2 · 05/08/2020 16:07

Quite normal, op, as everyone has said. He is chatting to you! Enjoy it.

Good advice about a sling (though mine screamed blue murder in one), if he likes it.

Your baby sounds gorgeous.

Mumsie007 · 05/08/2020 16:08

all normal. Defo get a sling - Ergo are brilliant, and expect the same for many many years, but enjoy it as its not long and they will no longer want cuddles at all!

Ibelieveinathingcalledcovid · 05/08/2020 16:08

I honestly laughed reading this! I have an almost 5 month old who is EXACTLY the same.
EXACTLY THE SAME!!!

GenevaMaybe · 05/08/2020 16:09

These things help - a solid nap routine to avoid overtiredness, and in a few weeks buy a fisher price Jumperoo. Amazing things

mummyoneboy19 · 05/08/2020 16:12

I found with the stretchy wraps to tie them as tight as they can possibly go before sliding baby in... I’m not sure why the tutorials show it so loose really because it’s dangerous for baby!

I have a Tula Explore carrier, but find I don’t use the front facing option so if you think you’d be the same theres also the Free To Grow - also until the 9th they’ve a summer sale on! (I don’t work for them I just get a lot of emails!)