To think shop workers shouldn't be asking people why they aren't wearing a mask?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My friend is epileptic. She can't wear a mask because it takes very little to trigger a fit, and wearing a mask creates too much of a risk. Over the last 2 days she's been asked in 3 different places (Greggs, Morrison's and the Co-Op) in an abrupt and snotty way "Where is your mask?" By staff. This is with lots of other customers around. She responded "I'm medically exempt" and has been asked why she's exempt in two of those places. She's also been told (online) that she should stay in to protect others and get someone else to do her shopping etc.

AIBU to think this is appalling ableist behaviour to put someone on the spot in front of others? She doesn't owe anyone her medical history. Yes there's sunflower lanyards she can pick up but she's apprehensive about wearing anything around her neck for obvious reasons. Why can't we just trust others that they're doing it in their best interests?

yet we have people on here saying that shop workers are so privileged to have their job at all that they should be happy to be abused

I never once said anyone should be happy to be abused, I just suggested the pp maybe consider that there are people in a worse position than they are. Stop making stuff up.

But that person was able to wear a mask, Helena. He admitted so himself, therefore he is not exempt. He should not have been humiliated the way he was and the bus driver needs extra training to prevent a repeat of that situation but he also should not have been attempting to travel without a mask when he was actually able to wear one. Yes he finds it uncomfortable but they are uncomfortable. Nurses and carers find them horrendously uncomfortable but we still wear them to protect service users and our colleagues. If the medical ones are too uncomfortable then a light scarf will work. The ones I've found most uncomfortable are the homemade cotton ones. I can't wear those for longer than it takes to pop in the local shop for a pint of milk. The most comfortable ones are the paper ones with the metal strips along the top. I've never tried a chiffon scarf but colleagues swear it's like being naked compared to the ffp3 masks we wear for work.

I’m seeing about 25% of shoppers in supermarkets without masks so some people are just taking the piss. I got to Sainsbury’s last week and had to turn back as I’d forgotten mine. Big stores should be handing them out, I’d even pay like a £1 if I’d forgotten mine.

[quote IAmFleshIAmBone]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I'm not complaining, of course you're going to reply. It's just so confusing because you make no suggestion that you have empathy for others, in fact the opposite, yet you seem to want it yourself. [/quote]
And I could flip that - you and others have no empathy for the people being put at increased risk by the number of people not wearing masks, or the people with disabilities and serious illnesses suffering from anxiety and feeling that they have got no option but to stay at home because they can't avoid being in close contact with people not wearing masks. It is a two way street and each group should be mindful and understanding of the other but I'm not seeing it. All I'm seeing is comments along the lines of "it's none of your business what other people do" - well, it is our business if we are being exposed to increased risk. Like the bus driver in the article Helena linked to - bus drivers were badly affected in the days before lockdown. I can understand why they might be scared now but apparently they have no business being anxious and no right to protection at work.

Too many people are choosing not to wear masks and they are exploiting a loophole. If the public knew that only genuine people weren't wearing them I think they would be a lot more understanding. As it is, I don't think it will be long before the vast majority stop wearing them and then what? Exponential growth and shielders will be forced back into.isolation again?

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I do have empathy for them - I will social distance and be as hygienic as possible, which is all I can do. If you read back you'll see an empathetic tone to a lot of my posts, but yours? Nah you just care about you.

I was disappointed when the supermarkets abandoned social distancing , stopped the queueing outside and took the arrows up off the floors. i didnt mind that at all , i found it orderly and sensible, i use hand sanitizer when im out and about (my own) and ive always washed my hands a lot. I was also out spending in the shops that were open during lockdown.

I despised the queues and abhorred the arrows but I'd rather they stay in place than having 60% of shoppers claim they are exempt from wearing masks for mostly spurious reasons and another 39% doing the equivalent of licking their fingers and wiping their spit on everything.

I just want what can go back to normal for the people I care for to go back to normal as much as possible and with the ways things are atm that is very, very unlikely to happen for a very, very long time. We've already had two residents admitted into the care of mental health wards and another one now in nursing care due to mental health. The ones left cannot take much more of this.

I see Wanksock has wasted money on face masks that the NHS cant use because they have ear loops not tie backs. But the ones DH and i have from Boots have ear loops so im assuming they are safe for the general public to wear no?
So why cant they send them out to low income homes instead of just wasting them.

[quote IAmFleshIAmBone]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I do have empathy for them - I will social distance and be as hygienic as possible, which is all I can do. If you read back you'll see an empathetic tone to a lot of my posts, but yours? Nah you just care about you. [/quote]
You know nothing about me. I'm reacting to countless posts since March asserting that people like me would have died within the next year anyway and everyone else shouldn't have had to sacrifice anything for us, that we should all stay shut away indefinitely in order to allow non vulnerable people to get back to normal and now, in relation to masks, that if vulnerable people have a problem with non mask wearers then the vulnerable should stay at home. I'm not quite sure where the empathy is in any of that and all I'm seeing on threads like these are people who can't wear masks describing how terrible it is for them. I haven't seen any threads from extremely vulnerable people describing how terrible it is for them having to go on public transport or into shops with many people not wearing masks and where SD is a distant memory.

We have health and safety at work legislation in this country and I don't understand why employers are being allowed to ignore it - bus companies, schools, shops - certainly buses and schools aren't safe places of work and shops are at the mercy of the customers and how much they will do voluntarily.

@HeIenaDove

I see Wanksock has wasted money on face masks that the NHS cant use because they have ear loops not tie backs. But the ones DH and i have from Boots have ear loops so im assuming they are safe for the general public to wear no? So why cant they send them out to low income homes instead of just wasting them.

Why do they have to be wasted? They give out free ones to people attending hospital if they don't have one and they've got ear loops. When I went to out patients during lockdown the nurse and the medical rep I saw were both wearing masks with ear loops so that style is being used in the NHS. That's criminal if they are just thrown away.

I never once said anyone should be happy to be abused, I just suggested the pp maybe consider that there are people in a worse position than they are - what does this even mean? And you have the cheek to say I am making things up?! I can't see any reason or debate in your posts, its as if you are replying to everyone by waggling your fingers in your ears and going ner ner ner.

@HeIenaDove

I was disappointed when the supermarkets abandoned social distancing , stopped the queueing outside and took the arrows up off the floors. i didnt mind that at all , i found it orderly and sensible, i use hand sanitizer when im out and about (my own) and ive always washed my hands a lot. I was also out spending in the shops that were open during lockdown.

Agree with this. I've said elsewhere that mask wearing compliance in this area is very high but wearing them correctly definitely isn't. So most useful precautions have gone and the one that's been introduced is pretty useless.

On the plus side, people are mostly keeping their distance from me as I'm not wearing a mask. This week, one member of the public demanded to know why I wasn't wearing a mask - when I said I was exempt, he said I didn't 'look ill'. I pointed out that he didn't look rude or ignorant, which just proves you shouldn't judge by appearance. But I will give him credit for staying a good distance away from me.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras if you want a thread about how hard it is for those who have been shielding, why not start one yourself. I’m sure loads of people are in a similar position and you could share your stories and experiences. 💐

one member of the public demanded to know why I wasn't wearing a mask - when I said I was exempt, he said I didn't 'look ill'. I pointed out that he didn't look rude or ignorant, which just proves you shouldn't judge by appearance.

I love that. But i bet sadly it went right over his self important head.

@Laiste You're probably right but a nearby member of staff gave me a big smile and a thumbs up

I believe that the staff in supermarkets here have been very quick to intervene if they've seen maskless people being challenged by the public. It's terrible that some people have had problems with staff. I've found it to be fairly well publicised that supermarkets aren't going for enforcement and I do wonder how much of it is individual staff members deciding for themselves to take a hard line. @Drumple You're experience was awful and I hope you get somewhere when you complain

Thanks Bamboozled. I don’t know that it’s even worth complaining but it’s a shop I use a lot (it’s a big smaller supermarket if that makes sense). At the same time, I’m not wanting anyone to get the sack or anything like that but she was rude and I’d like an apology and an assurance that it won’t happen again you know?

Are you medically qualified Dandelion? Do you have full access to my medical history including the other reasons I can't wear a mask, aside from asthma triggered by warm air? I'm assuming you're not the GP who advised me I would struggle to wear one and to stop if I get symptoms? Have you seen me practice mask wearing indoors regularly at home where 7 minutes is the longest I have ever managed before I had to pull it off as I was breathless and had a tight chest and felt faint?

Thought not. Thanks for calling me selfish though - I haven't stepped foot in a shop since 15 March, I have had all food and medicine delivered and I have stayed at home bar the occasional walk where I keep well away from others.

I haven't been flocking to pubs, beaches or VE day celebrations. I haven't been spreading Covid anywhere!

I would not intervene if a customer was going on to another customer about it wearing a mask that's not my job. But I would call security to deal with the situation. My company advises staff not to deal with confrontations what may put the staff member at risk and leave it to security to properly deal with a situation.

Ventured into Morrison’s pharmacy and a man coming in behind me had no mask. The security guard asked “do you have a mask with you”. He held up his sunflower (was tucked into his jacket) the guard said “thank you, sir” and in he went.
Very straightforward and respectful.
Can your friend acquire a badge?

@Vivana

I would not intervene if a customer was going on to another customer about it wearing a mask that's not my job. But I would call security to deal with the situation. My company advises staff not to deal with confrontations what may put the staff member at risk and leave it to security to properly deal with a situation.

The shop I was in doesn’t have security. But that would be great if someone did that in the likes of Tesco for me (if I was being challenged by another customer). What would you do if it was a member of staff though?

A lot of people make reasons up not to wear them when genuinely they could and should be wearing them.

Drumple

Call security same procedure. I'm not putting myself at risk plus like I said my companys policy is not to put yourself in danger be it staff or customers. Security and a manager are trained to deal with it and if they feel necessary they call the police.

@Vivana

Drumple

Call security same procedure. I'm not putting myself at risk plus like I said my companys policy is not to put yourself in danger be it staff or customers. Security and a manager are trained to deal with it and if they feel necessary they call the police.

Thanks. I’m not being awkward I’m just trying to understand what is a reasonable expectation on my part if it happens again.

Next time I wonder should I just call the police but I don’t expect they’d attend so I suppose I’d be best just not going to that shop again. I don’t know. I’m just annoyed and upset and I don’t think it was fair. But according to some people I should not be out since I’m not wearing a mask and I didn’t do enough to let the woman know I was exempt.

It’s all just difficult and a bit of a mess

Drumple

No I completely understand and half the time I really would love to protect the vulnerable in the store. My dd is disabled and vulnerable so my instinct is to kind of help the vulnerable customer. I've seen customers have a right go at each other at the start of this it's sad to see some people are not taking it seriously.
Had one man put a customer in tears. Called a manager straight away and security. The man was promptly escorted out the store and banned for life. Companys need to keep people safe be it staff or customers. Sadly some nasty customers dont care at all.

Also supermarkets have got rid of arrows etc far to quickly my store got rid of them even before the government came in with new guidance and stopped the queues
I dont know what companys are playing at half the time.