To think shop workers shouldn't be asking people why they aren't wearing a mask?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My friend is epileptic. She can't wear a mask because it takes very little to trigger a fit, and wearing a mask creates too much of a risk. Over the last 2 days she's been asked in 3 different places (Greggs, Morrison's and the Co-Op) in an abrupt and snotty way "Where is your mask?" By staff. This is with lots of other customers around. She responded "I'm medically exempt" and has been asked why she's exempt in two of those places. She's also been told (online) that she should stay in to protect others and get someone else to do her shopping etc.

AIBU to think this is appalling ableist behaviour to put someone on the spot in front of others? She doesn't owe anyone her medical history. Yes there's sunflower lanyards she can pick up but she's apprehensive about wearing anything around her neck for obvious reasons. Why can't we just trust others that they're doing it in their best interests?

@Drumple

I’m sorry that not my job. I am going on what the experts on the law say. You could email them and ask

And that was taken from the gov.uk website. So government are expecting shops to do one thing and lawyers are saying they shouldn't. It's easy to see why shop staff don't know which way to turn.

There’s a difference between asking me why I’m not wearing a mask, and offering me one should I have forgotten

Plenty of customers ask me about my disability. At least as a customer you have the right to be rude to the member of staff asking you intrusive questions or to walk out. As a member of staff I don't have that ability when it's customers asking me intrusive questions about my condition - it's all about privilege isn't it?

Oh for goodness sake you dont need to tell anyone anything no matter if its a customer or not! You also don't have to be rude to tell a customer you don't want to discuss your health with them. A simple "I don't discuss my private life at work, how are you today?" or something similar and if they persist call your manager its thier job to support staff.

Privilege has nothing to do.with it. Customer rudeness isn't tolerated in my store if yours does then contact HR or the staff support line.

@Vivana

Plenty of customers ask me about my disability. At least as a customer you have the right to be rude to the member of staff asking you intrusive questions or to walk out. As a member of staff I don't have that ability when it's customers asking me intrusive questions about my condition - it's all about privilege isn't it?

Tell the customer sorry that's personal and walk away. Just like us staff cant ask them They dont have any right to ask ANY personal questions at all. Even tho some customers like to tell us there life story

I'm a sitting duck though being on the checkout. I'm trapped there and I have yet to work out what to say without being rude.

It's like now, regular customers are seeing me back at work and asking where I've been - it's difficult to give a vague answer.

Why can’t you just say “yeah it’s good to be back” or something equally vague. You don’t need to give any personal info

Eight more people have been in. Only two had masks one of whom took it off when he got to the till and then handed me his money with the same sweaty hand he'd just pawed his mask with

I made a point of putting it down on the counter, sanitising it and then sanitising my hands and the counter before giving him his change.

I'm not sure why my friend keeps asking me to help her. I'm a complete bitch with no patience for the stupidity of the general public. The other staff seem to like me and in my defence I'm not being paid. I'm helping out of the goodness of mine own heart.

@Willow2017

Plenty of customers ask me about my disability. At least as a customer you have the right to be rude to the member of staff asking you intrusive questions or to walk out. As a member of staff I don't have that ability when it's customers asking me intrusive questions about my condition - it's all about privilege isn't it?

Oh for goodness sake you dont need to tell anyone anything no matter if its a customer or not! You also don't have to be rude to tell a customer you don't want to discuss your health with them. A simple "I don't discuss my private life at work, how are you today?" or something similar and if they persist call your manager its thier job to support staff.

Privilege has nothing to do.with it. Customer rudeness isn't tolerated in my store if yours does then contact HR or the staff support line.

I don't think management would view a customer asking about my health as being rude though. I think they would consider that I was being too sensitive and should just answer.

As for HR - yeah, we don't have that any more. Management can contact HR, staff can't.

I honestly don't think the customers would accept that brush off. They want to know the ins and outs and what I've got, where I'm treated cos their neighbours aunts cats mum has got the same thing. I'm quite sure a "I don't discuss my health" response would provoke a snarky response.

YANBU
I work in retail. It's not my job to police face masks. That's not what I get paid for. That should be the polices job, not mine.

If you don't wear a mask, for whatever reason, I don't care. That's your problem.

@Drumple

Why can’t you just say “yeah it’s good to be back” or something equally vague. You don’t need to give any personal info

Because they've all said variations of "oh you're back. Where have you been?"

You can't answer that with "it's good to be back" can you?

"Can you explain the sentence in that screen shot then that sats shops can refuse entry to customers if they don't have a valid exemption?"

Not being able to wear a mask isn't the only exemption. Under 11's don't have to. A person accompanying someone who needs to lipread etc, The exemption can be those reasons too.

Well something vague.

Oh been off. How are you with this weirdness.

And if they ask anymore than that a simple “sorry That’s a bit intrusive. Now would you like a bag”

I’m sorry you’re struggling but I am not doing any of those things and I can’t answer for those who do. I wouldn’t ask you anything.

Give it a week and no one will ask anymore, tell them you've been in jail on holiday, working at home or different shifts. It doesn't have to be a finger nail biting exchange.

@Drumple

Well something vague.

Oh been off. How are you with this weirdness.

And if they ask anymore than that a simple “sorry That’s a bit intrusive. Now would you like a bag”

I’m sorry you’re struggling but I am not doing any of those things and I can’t answer for those who do. I wouldn’t ask you anything.

I didn't say that you would but people have been saying that customers don't ask staff why they aren't wearing masks or intrusive questions - that's not true, they do and it's difficult to respond in a way that the customer won't see as rude.

Same as customers who put money in their mouths, or lick their fingers and then count out their money and then hand it to you - we shouldn't have to accept that at this time. Or customers who blow their nose and then hand you money.

It's so easy to see all the potential ways Covid can be spread around - that spit laden money goes in the till and might well be given to the next customer in change. If it now is infected with Covid and the next customer touches it and then their face...

Or "I've been off, pleased to be back."
The reply at the most will be "oh, I hope everything is ok." "It is thank you."

If they do press, you just say "I'd rather not talk about it."

For someone who works in such a customer facing role you do seem to have a lot of angst about talking to people.

I wouldn’t ask you anything.

I’m sorry people are asking after you. I’d have taken kindly.

I pay contactless.

@TheGreatWave

Or "I've been off, pleased to be back." The reply at the most will be "oh, I hope everything is ok." "It is thank you."

If they do press, you just say "I'd rather not talk about it."

For someone who works in such a customer facing role you do seem to have a lot of angst about talking to people.

I love talking to customers, it's the best part of the job. I just don't like it when they ask personal questions because it's hard to avoid answering without seeming rude.

You say tell them "oh I've been off" and they'll say "hope everything is ok" - no they won't. "I've been off" will prompt "oh where? Not seen you for months" or "I heard you were shielding" if you say yes I was, they then ask why. It's easier to just answer rather than give vague, obtuse answers that just prompt more questions.

Any way, if you aren't wearing a mask (even if you are but especially if you aren't) please be vigilant and don't lean around the cashier's shield to pass money, vouchers, talk etc. There are slots in the screen to.pass money through

@Drumple

I wouldn’t ask you anything.

I’m sorry people are asking after you. I’d have taken kindly.

And I'd accept that staff were just doing their job if they asked me why I didn't have a mask on.

People find different things offensive.

The difference is staff aren’t allowed by law to ask me why I haven’t a mask on.

And the woman who asked me wasn’t kindly. And I was wearing a big badge and lanyard.
I assume you don’t have a lanyard and badge that states why you’ve been off?

I personally have no problem with being Asked if I want a mask. I’d volunteer I’m exempt.

I’m wearing a badge and lanyard ffs I’m making it obvious.

But the fact is. The law says I shouldn’t be asked. That’s not my fault.

Just before I disappear though - Drumple

The way you have been treated is shocking and you absolutely should pursue a complaint.

@TheGreatWave

Or "I've been off, pleased to be back." The reply at the most will be "oh, I hope everything is ok." "It is thank you."

If they do press, you just say "I'd rather not talk about it."

For someone who works in such a customer facing role you do seem to have a lot of angst about talking to people.

This.

You don't need to.tell them anything just ignore if they keep asking. Just chatter on about everyday stuff to change the subject. Just say you've been away and chsnge the subject
But being off shielding isn't anything thats going to cause them to faint in shock it's pretty common so why not just say so? They dont need to know why. It's not like it's embarrassing to be shielding.

I get asked what I've done if i wear my splint if my CT is playing up I just tell them.. I have had chats with customers who have had it too and they sympathise. Sometimes i have huge bruuses same thing its my auto immune condition looksl like I have been beat up doesn't it? If it was anything more personal I would just say I wasn't discussing it thanks and chat about the weather or something.
Your manager cant force you to disclose personal info. They are there to support you unless they want a discrimination charge.

If you arent prepared to tell customers its not up for discussion, nor tell your manager you are made to feel uncomfortable then what do you expect to happen? If you don't deal with it one way or another it won't go away. But then it's the same story every time you post.

And I'd accept that staff were just doing their job if they asked me why I didn't have a mask on.
People find different things offensive
Ffs pot and kettle??
You don't like customers asking you personal questions but it's ok for staff to do it to customers? If you don't tell customers your private medical stuff why would you tell some random in a shop?

It's not just offensive its against current law.

I'm in retail management. We ask do you have a mask? If they say no, I'm exempt then it's fine and we revert to 2m distancing.

If they say no we ask "is there a reason you can't wear one? If the answer is yes then refer to above.

I wish people would understand the difficulty of being in retail.

Can I stress at no point are they asked to prove or explain why. "I'm exempt" is enough.

But the government has put this on retail/hospitality workers. It's not us.