To think shop workers shouldn't be asking people why they aren't wearing a mask?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My friend is epileptic. She can't wear a mask because it takes very little to trigger a fit, and wearing a mask creates too much of a risk. Over the last 2 days she's been asked in 3 different places (Greggs, Morrison's and the Co-Op) in an abrupt and snotty way "Where is your mask?" By staff. This is with lots of other customers around. She responded "I'm medically exempt" and has been asked why she's exempt in two of those places. She's also been told (online) that she should stay in to protect others and get someone else to do her shopping etc.

AIBU to think this is appalling ableist behaviour to put someone on the spot in front of others? She doesn't owe anyone her medical history. Yes there's sunflower lanyards she can pick up but she's apprehensive about wearing anything around her neck for obvious reasons. Why can't we just trust others that they're doing it in their best interests?

@QuestionableMouse

I'm on the other side of this - a major part of my job is getting customers to comply with the complex rules head office have put into place. It's honestly awful, stressful and I leave work a lot of the time feeling like I want to cry. I don't know why someone isn't wearing a mask and I have to ask. I'd personally leave it at medically exempt but some managers have been asking why we're letting customers in without a mask.

Your friend needs something she can show both to make her life easier and to make staff's life easier.

It's a horrible situation and we all need to help each other out and try to make the best of it.

I don't know why someone isn't wearing a mask and I have to ask.

No you don't and your employer is breaking the law by making you ask.

We do all need to help each other but this does not mean that we should all just capitulate to what your boss reckons.

@QuestionableMouse

That’s utterly bizarre, her, not you obviously. Your manager needs to learn the law!
I feel hugely for shop staff. It’s not your job to be challenging the public and there is surely a high risk of abuse from customers?

It’s simple you friend can carry a card if she feels she can not wear one around her neck

Simple, other than the fact these cards prove nothing, and the bullies ignore them anyway, or haven't you read the thread?

I totally agree but what can I do? I'm probably not the only one with this sort of management. It's shit and I refuse as much as I can but sometimes I just don't have it in me to argue.

[quote Haenow]@QuestionableMouse

That’s utterly bizarre, her, not you obviously. Your manager needs to learn the law!
I feel hugely for shop staff. It’s not your job to be challenging the public and there is surely a high risk of abuse from customers?[/quote]
Yep. I've been sworn at, pushed, called names, all for asking people to sanitise their hands and wear a face covering (unless they're exempt.)

I don't want to derail this thread much more but I just wanted to share a bit from the other side.

Must admit I lost it a bit last shift and made up a reason for a mask less lady when obnoxious manager asked.

You realise most people have “a medical condition” of some sort right? Retail staff actually don’t give a fuck about customers’ medical history but unfortunately it is the law right now to wear one in a shop.

Masks don’t trigger epileptic fits. From an epileptic who doesn’t even have their license. She is not exempt, however much you both feign shock at not being able to do as you please.

Your friend’s being a dick we’re in the middle of a pandemic and unfortunately people that are used to looking solely out for themselves have to look out for everyone else.

@User87471643901065319

See this is the kind of distrust that pisses me off. Epilepsy may not be automatically exempt but my friend knows herself and her condition that she's lived with for 40 years so I think she's the best placed person to decide if a mask poses a risk to her or not. Having Epilepsy does not exempt someone from wearing a mask. If you are saying your friend would suffer extreme distress by wearing a mask then fair enough but it is not the epilepsy but her anxiety/distress that is the condition.

Here is what www.epilepsy.ork.uk has to say about it:
Are face coverings (face masks) safe for people with epilepsy?
"Most people with epilepsy can safely wear simple cloth face coverings. A face covering made of breathable material should not cause any harm if someone is wearing one during a seizure."

"Some people have told us they are worried about face coverings making it harder to breathe or making them overheat. There is no evidence that this is a problem with the type of face coverings recommended for the general public, made of breathable material."

"If you find that wearing a face covering makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious, it’s worth trying different ones to find one that’s right for you. The gov.uk website has advice about what counts as a face covering. You could also try wearing a face covering for short periods of time at home first, to get used to the way it feels."

"If you have other conditions as well as epilepsy and are worried these may affect your ability to wear a face covering, you may wish to check with your doctor. Or you could get advice from a charity that specialises in your medical condition."

A face covering made of breathable material should not cause any harm if someone is wearing one during a seizure.

I don't believe this and I want to see their evidence.

I came out of shielding back to working in a supermarket on Monday.

Just a rough observation but I estimate about 50% of customers are wearing masks correctly. Of the other 50% I estimate about 1/3 aren't wearing one at all and the other 2/3 have them artfully arranged in some way - under their chin, under their nose, dangling from one ear. In some cases they are worn correctly until the customer gets to the cashier, at which point they pull them down while they are speaking.

If you can't or won't wear a mask then can you at least be mindful that shop assistants are at risk, some are extremely vulnerable..Stay 2 metres away, don't lean around protective screens at the checkout to pass your money over or to reach an item and please, please don not hold your money in your mouth and then hand it to the cashier or lick your fingers, count the notes and hand them to the cashier.

Yes absolutely YANBU. I have became a recluse since it has been compulsory to wear one. I can't stand the look of them or the inability to breathe properly. I can't stand it.

My mum works in a shop and has absolutely not been questioning or complaining about anyone not wearing one.

Did I miss the post where the op’s friend has showed their exemption card i thought the op was arguing why should she and we should trust in each other was all that’s needed

Meanwhile we are in the middle of a world pandemic and we need to be as practical as we can

She is not exempt

No one is officially "exempt" the rule is wear one if you can. She can't. I trust she can't and with respect you have NO idea about her condition. She, however, does. So I'll once again leave it to her to decide.

Your friend’s being a dick

Yeah what a nobhead not risking having an epileptic fit the irony of YOU calling someone else a dick

I do wear a mask when required to do so but am occasionally with DP who is exempt and has been challenged - it’s limiting the places we can go or shop in and they won’t get my business in future when masks are no longer required
I am totally fed up with jobsworth types - I was on my own in the queue outside a local shop yesterday with my mask in my hand ready to put on - and received a lecture as to why I didn’t have it on already and that I wouldn’t be allowed in without it!
I politely replied that they had just lost a sale and went elsewhere

Where are you?! In Yorkshire I'd say 99% of people (if not more) wear masks in shops
No mask aren't mandatory here yet they will be from Monday which I hope it will encourage those who can wear them to do it.
I'm sorry your friend went through that it is understandable many will be exempt a simple I'm exempt should suffice.

@Miniminiminimini are people with Down Syndrome who can't wear masks also being a dick? What about the people who have PTSD because they were gagged when being raped and the masks trigger a panic attack? Are they dicks too? Or just my friend?

@Emeraldshamrock

Where are you?! In Yorkshire I'd say 99% of people (if not more) wear masks in shops No mask aren't mandatory here yet they will be from Monday which I hope it will encourage those who can wear them to do it. I'm sorry your friend went through that it is understandable many will be exempt a simple I'm exempt should suffice.

Oh I see, yes until masks were mandatory in England I'd say not even 8% wore them. You will see a difference come Monday.

You friend can show in some way she is exempt it’s not difficult

@ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN but why should she? This is my whole point - what will flashing a badge do that it wouldn't do if she didn't have one?

@GlummyMcGlummerson I think the main thing you'll take from this thread is that a lot of people are thick as and have no empathy... Just read the whole thing in bed and enraged me so much I'm now not tired!

What do people think these 'cards' prove? That someone can use a printer? And that is going to stop the bullies? Extremely naive. Government guidelines are do not challenge anyone who isn't wearing one. Why can't the sanctimonious arseholes follow the guidelines?

No body asks anyone around here!

People are just swanning in and out of shops around here without them on. I know not all disabilities etc are visible but it would surprise me if both halves of a you n couple, or a whole group of friends, were medically exempt.

@IAmFleshIAmBone

What do people think these 'cards' prove? That someone can use a printer? And that is going to stop the bullies? Extremely naive. Government guidelines are do not challenge anyone who isn't wearing one. Why can't the sanctimonious arseholes follow the guidelines?

Apparently flashing a card satisfies the busybody power hungry bigots who won't take the fact that someone isn't wearing a mask as enough to justify not wearing one, but a crappy little card that anyone can print out proves everything

I just text exDH funnily enough who can't wear a mask either - because he served in Afghanistan, and has suffered for years from PTSD after a bomb blast saw him carrying dead and dying bodies (many of whom were children and one was his best friend). He wore a mask then and so wearing one for COVID triggers a flash back and panic attack. I can't stress enough how far he's come with his PTSD and the improvements he's made. It's taken years of therapy, talking, pills, more talking, more therapy and he's in a place where he's probably the best he can be. A panic attack can easily set him so far back.

Anyway I text to ask if he's been challenged ever for not wearing one. He's a big burly bloke, muscly and wide. No, he hasn't been challenged, not once. He wouldn't wear a sunflower lanyard or badge if you paid him. Yet I'm hearing a lot about women being picked on. Funny that.

@Miniminiminimini

You realise most people have “a medical condition” of some sort right? Retail staff actually don’t give a fuck about customers’ medical history but unfortunately it is the law right now to wear one in a shop.

Masks don’t trigger epileptic fits. From an epileptic who doesn’t even have their license. She is not exempt, however much you both feign shock at not being able to do as you please.

Your friend’s being a dick we’re in the middle of a pandemic and unfortunately people that are used to looking solely out for themselves have to look out for everyone else.

Having a medical condition does not make you exempt. Being unable to wear a face covering makes you exempt.

The law on face coverings in shops allows for exemptions.

Masks don’t trigger epileptic fits
What evidence are you basing this statement on? From the way you talk about 'epileptic fits' and 'an epileptic' I am guessing this is not your area of expertise. Have you considered that you might not have the faintest clue what you are talking about?

From an epileptic who doesn’t even have their license
What does this even mean?

OP's friend absolutely is exempt because she cannot safely wear a face covering and it is becoming increasingly clear who the dicks are.

The law is to wear a mask. If you are not wearing one then you may be challenged. There is no point throwing a wobbly about the fact that if you are not complying with the law then you may be asked about it.

There is no excuse for those trying to enforce the law to be rude.

Neither is there any excuse to be rude to those trying to enforce the law. A simple "I'm exempt" is no hardship.

It is none of any member of the public's business why another member of the public may not be wearing one.

Masks are not some magic panacea but we all have a duty to do what we can to help stop the spread of cases.

Masks are not "muzzles". Unless you are in the habit of going around biting people, you're not being muzzled in any way. And if that is your habit, I'd hope you're not wandering freely around the street in any case.

because showing a card which just says you are exempt shows that it is not just because you have forgotten to put your mask on. Thats why it could be helpful.

She doesn't have to carry a card, its only for her benefit.If she would rather have a conversation every single time she is reminded to wear a mask, that is up to her, but its a bit mean on the poor shop staff who then have to put up with some on-mask-wearer speaking at them

Erm because we are in the middle of a pandemic

I find it strange that so many can argue against why they or this person or that person can’t comply in some way. I work in mh with the most non compliant challenging group of people yet they have taken this on (some have exemption cards and show them) if they can why are so many others just not wanting to comply.

It’s a pandemic I don’t want to wear a fucking mask in a shop when I have to at work most of the day I get hot, it ridiculously hot in our meeting rooms (last Friday was horrendous) but our lives have been made inconvenient at the moment but a virus that is unpredictable in how it will impact you should you catch it

It’s a flash of a card big deal. If you were saying she flashed her card and shop staff were rude/horrible I would to think that’s unfair

@GlummyMcGlummerson

1. No because they have a medical exemption
2. No because they have a medical exemption

Just your friend, who has no medical exemption and is not above the law. I’m sure you quite encourage her though.