To think shop workers shouldn't be asking people why they aren't wearing a mask?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My friend is epileptic. She can't wear a mask because it takes very little to trigger a fit, and wearing a mask creates too much of a risk. Over the last 2 days she's been asked in 3 different places (Greggs, Morrison's and the Co-Op) in an abrupt and snotty way "Where is your mask?" By staff. This is with lots of other customers around. She responded "I'm medically exempt" and has been asked why she's exempt in two of those places. She's also been told (online) that she should stay in to protect others and get someone else to do her shopping etc.

AIBU to think this is appalling ableist behaviour to put someone on the spot in front of others? She doesn't owe anyone her medical history. Yes there's sunflower lanyards she can pick up but she's apprehensive about wearing anything around her neck for obvious reasons. Why can't we just trust others that they're doing it in their best interests?

Moaning^

When people expect people like me and my DS to wear a badge or a lanyard,I'm immediately reminded of Nazi Germany.
Why the fuck should I wear something that brings attention to my illness? It's not self inflicted, so why should I have to put up with people gawping at me like a circus freak?

The only thing I saw I may have worn, but they sold out, was an indie seller who made ones that said "Fuck Off, I'm Mask Exempt" but no doubt the same muzzle police would've caused shit over that too.

See this is the kind of distrust that pisses me off. Epilepsy may not be automatically exempt but my friend knows herself and her condition that she's lived with for 40 years so I think she's the best placed person to decide if a mask poses a risk to her or not.
Having Epilepsy does not exempt someone from wearing a mask. If you are saying your friend would suffer extreme distress by wearing a mask then fair enough but it is not the epilepsy but her anxiety/distress that is the condition.

Here is what www.epilepsy.ork.uk has to say about it:
Are face coverings (face masks) safe for people with epilepsy?
"Most people with epilepsy can safely wear simple cloth face coverings. A face covering made of breathable material should not cause any harm if someone is wearing one during a seizure."

"Some people have told us they are worried about face coverings making it harder to breathe or making them overheat. There is no evidence that this is a problem with the type of face coverings recommended for the general public, made of breathable material."

"If you find that wearing a face covering makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious, it’s worth trying different ones to find one that’s right for you. The gov.uk website has advice about what counts as a face covering. You could also try wearing a face covering for short periods of time at home first, to get used to the way it feels."

"If you have other conditions as well as epilepsy and are worried these may affect your ability to wear a face covering, you may wish to check with your doctor. Or you could get advice from a charity that specialises in your medical condition."

I've said it so many times and I'll say it again - 2020 really has been the busybody's time to shine
Oh, the irony of calling other posters busybodies when you are being a busybody about your friend's situation. She's an adult. She can just say whatever she wants to the shop workers who have confronted her.

Most people I’ve seen in our store who have a visible disability have worn the mask!

The invisible disability and conditions are what’s causing anger. A customer shrieked at other customers a few day’s ago demanding they wore masks as he had just come out of shielding

Go back to shielding then?

I have not RTFT. I do think yabu. DP is out working in retail every day no one is wearing a mask nobody is bothering with social distance.
Thankfully his employers are only letting a limited about in and out as it's electrical retail.
I pity the supermarket staff who are all wearing masks or visors while the customer cant be bothered.
I'm delighted it is mandatory from Monday at the moment DP and colleagues cannot refuse entry without a mask.

[quote LaBelleSauvage]@LangClegsInSpace I agree that saying I'm exempt should be fine. Whatever wording the person chooses to say they are exempt should be fine.

I'm just addressing the initial AIBU title which was that people shouldn't be asked.

The fact that some shop assistants have challenged further for specifics is a training issue and should be dealt with appropriately by management in the shop.

What I am saying is that a polite question is fine, and the answer should be taken at face value. I am not condoning any nastiness, I am not for manditory badges or compulsory specifics. I am JUST for the basic principle of politely asking a non mask wearer about a mask. If people would rather not be asked as much, they are free to wear a badge or sticker to avoid this happening as much, and that is their choice.

But a blanket ban in asking about masks endangers us all.[/quote]
So you didn't even read the OP, just the title?

@Emeraldshamrock

What’s changing on Monday?

I think that, as with many things, we just need to find a middle ground. There is little that is ideal about living through a global pandemic (for any of us).

I do think that mask wearing by the majority protects us all, so I support this being the law to wear a mask unless medically exempt.

I think it's fine for shop staff to politely ask if someone has a mask. If someone replies that they are medically exempt, they shouldn't be challenged further on this by shop staff. I totally agree that people shouldn't be expected to disclose confidential medical information in the middle of a shop.

If people are unhappy being asked, the people unable to wear a mask could consider some of the following options:

• they could wear a visor (for many people this would resolve the problem that mask wearing poses as it doesn't restrict airflow although I get that it's not suitable for everyone, eg in the case of learning disabilities it may not resolve the problem. However for your friend with epilepsy that would probably resolve the issue completely)
• wear a badge/lanyard
• do online shopping/click and collect/get someone to do their shopping for them

I think that the anti-mask brigade aren't doing those who are genuinely medically exempt any favours by making such a fuss about it all. It should be the case that the vast majority of people are wearing them, then by definition those people not wearing them are medically exempt, but there's so many people just generally resisting it that I think a polite question/reminder from shop staff is helpful.

I think we all need to appreciate that masks are for the greater good (including the medically exempt) , and here to stay for the forseeable future. We need to get behind them for those of us that can wear them, and be kind to those that can't (by that I mean it's ok to remind people to wear a mask, but accept their answer if they are medically exempt and not push them on it). It's not ideal, it's not how we would choose things to be, but it's how it is.

I'm delighted it is mandatory from Monday at the moment DP and colleagues cannot refuse entry without a mask.

Except for people who are exempt from wearing them. 🤔

[quote DomDoesWotHeWants]@countrygirl99

I am bothered by people acting like stasi and making other people's lives miserable. If you want to be that person noone can't stop you but it doesn't make you the saint you seem to think.

But I'm not that person. I haven't said anything that could lead you to believe I would be. Why make things up? I posted sympathetically to the OP in the first instance. I have never challenged anyone for not wearing a mask, I wouldn't. Why pretend I said that? I think you owe me an apology.

I just pointed out what I did, I wear a mask for short periods. I haven't claimed sainthood, yet you seem determined to be unpleasant.

Really not sure why. [/quote]
I'm still not clear why you believe you are exempt and your posts seem very cryptic and more than a bit snotty.

Here are the exemptions: www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/791/regulation/4/made

Can you say which one you fall under?

its the same thing, its showing you are entitled to do something different that makes your life a bit easier

No it isn't!! Because having to show people a lanyard isn't easier than just being trusted.

In my corner of south west London there are huge numbers of young men who don't wear masks. Or just sling them under their chin,
I really don't believe all members of one friendship group have hidden disabilities.its just not cool to wear one.
So yes I do think more questioning should be done.

I don’t think people should have to go into detail about their medical conditions but I do think they need some way of indicating that they can’t wear one (and I do think that they should have at least tried to wear one). No wants wants to wear a mask but we have to to protect others, If some people can’t protect others, the least they can do is explain that they can’t.

I’m curious as to how knowing why somebody is exempt will change things.

Shop assistant: please wear a mask in X shop.
Custom: I am medically exempt.
Shop assistant: why?
Customer: I have asthma.

How does that add anything? It doesn’t prove anything. They could be lying. Given the law says people don’t need proof, prying into people’s medical histories is unnecessary. It adds precisely nothing.

I'm on the other side of this - a major part of my job is getting customers to comply with the complex rules head office have put into place. It's honestly awful, stressful and I leave work a lot of the time feeling like I want to cry. I don't know why someone isn't wearing a mask and I have to ask. I'd personally leave it at medically exempt but some managers have been asking why we're letting customers in without a mask.

Your friend needs something she can show both to make her life easier and to make staff's life easier.

It's a horrible situation and we all need to help each other out and try to make the best of it.

@User87471643901065319

See this is the kind of distrust that pisses me off. Epilepsy may not be automatically exempt but my friend knows herself and her condition that she's lived with for 40 years so I think she's the best placed person to decide if a mask poses a risk to her or not. Having Epilepsy does not exempt someone from wearing a mask. If you are saying your friend would suffer extreme distress by wearing a mask then fair enough but it is not the epilepsy but her anxiety/distress that is the condition.

Here is what www.epilepsy.ork.uk has to say about it:
Are face coverings (face masks) safe for people with epilepsy?
"Most people with epilepsy can safely wear simple cloth face coverings. A face covering made of breathable material should not cause any harm if someone is wearing one during a seizure."

"Some people have told us they are worried about face coverings making it harder to breathe or making them overheat. There is no evidence that this is a problem with the type of face coverings recommended for the general public, made of breathable material."

"If you find that wearing a face covering makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious, it’s worth trying different ones to find one that’s right for you. The gov.uk website has advice about what counts as a face covering. You could also try wearing a face covering for short periods of time at home first, to get used to the way it feels."

"If you have other conditions as well as epilepsy and are worried these may affect your ability to wear a face covering, you may wish to check with your doctor. Or you could get advice from a charity that specialises in your medical condition."

Gee thanks for that but I'll leave it to my friend, who actually HAS the condition, to decide what's best for her, not some random online who can't even decide on a username

@Haenow

I’m curious as to how knowing why somebody is exempt will change things.

Shop assistant: please wear a mask in X shop.
Custom: I am medically exempt.
Shop assistant: why?
Customer: I have asthma.

How does that add anything? It doesn’t prove anything. They could be lying. Given the law says people don’t need proof, prying into people’s medical histories is unnecessary. It adds precisely nothing.

@Haenow

One of my managers wants us to be able to give a reason if we let someone in without a mask. I don't agree but she's obnoxious about it. If she was in I'd have to ask for a reason past medical exemption.

Yanbu

@QuestionableMouse

I'm on the other side of this - a major part of my job is getting customers to comply with the complex rules head office have put into place. It's honestly awful, stressful and I leave work a lot of the time feeling like I want to cry. I don't know why someone isn't wearing a mask and I have to ask. I'd personally leave it at medically exempt but some managers have been asking why we're letting customers in without a mask.

Your friend needs something she can show both to make her life easier and to make staff's life easier.

It's a horrible situation and we all need to help each other out and try to make the best of it.

Your work should not be asking you to pry for people's medical information. Unless you work in a medical field and have good reason to but I'm guessing by saying "customers" that you don't?

@QuestionableMouse you aren't actually supposed to ask. Part of the guidelines state that.
Even if your boss forces you to ask (which she shouldn't) people don't actually have to give you a reason beyond being medically exempt.

@QuestionableMouse and what do you do with the information given - do you determine if their reason is good enough? Because you could be breaking the law, not just by asking, but refusing if you decide that they can't gain entry.

Some people seriously need to whistle blow on these vile managers

Except for people who are exempt from wearing them
The majority are refusing to wear them medical exemption or not.
DP thinks it is around 8% of customers usually elderly in masks.

@Emeraldshamrock

Except for people who are exempt from wearing them The majority are refusing to wear them medical exemption or not. DP thinks it is around 8% of customers usually elderly in masks.

Where are you?! In Yorkshire I'd say 99% of people (if not more) wear masks in shops.

The virus is around and is spreading the reason we are wearing masks is to reduce this for everyone’s benefit

You friend can show in some way she is exempt it’s not difficult

Some people are choosing not to wear masks because they are idiots

Those working directly with the public are not to know who are the idiots and who have a need

It’s simple you friend can carry a card if she feels she can not wear one around her neck