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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Petty confessions

96 replies

CuntyMcBollocks · 05/08/2020 12:54

Does anybody have any crap or petty confessions that they want to get off their chest? No judgements, and the more petty the better. I'll start...

I cleaned my trainers with my brothers toothbrush when we were kids as he used to try and get my in trouble. Our mum always believed his lies so I got my petty revenge by scrubbing the dirt from underneath my trainers with his tooth brush.

OP posts:

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 06/08/2020 00:03

It wasn't the washing machine that kept neatly removing the buttons off your boxers every time you left them by the side of the bed instead of putting them in the laundry basket.

Original poster

CuntyMcBollocks · 06/08/2020 00:21

FrenchToEnglish that made me laugh so much!!

OP posts:

FrenchtoEnglish · 06/08/2020 00:45

@CuntyMcBollocks My ex SIL didn't think it was funny when I told her.

Annabanana1234 · 06/08/2020 11:15

Dsis that day you woke up with a massive wad of hubba bubba in your hair wasn’t because you’d went to sleep chewing gum again. I put it there for you snogging the boy you knew I really liked just because you could.

(I didn’t put it high up despite wanting to-she was due a haircut and was going short)

Stirmeup · 06/08/2020 11:28

Great thread!! Sadeyedlady I burst out laughing at yours and completely understand what it feels like to be brought to this level of connivance!!!

HaudMaDug · 06/08/2020 13:16

@TinkersRucksack

Dear ex boyfriend, I'm sorry that I put your toothbrush up my bum then put it back in the holder for you to use.

Actually, I'm not. Fuck you.

LOL. Similar here Dear ex boyfriend, Sorry that you did not get the reaction you wanted when you said you had been using MY toothbrush. It was not my toothbrush you were using, the pink one belonged to the dog, but he didn't mind sharing.

Hope what's left of your teeth have fallen out.

tectonicplates · 06/08/2020 13:32

Dear customers,

If you're rude to me or my colleagues and then you ask for directions to get somewhere, then of course we've never heard of the place and we don't know how to get there. Use your common sense. The person you were polite to is far more more likely to be good with directions.

Nottherealslimshady · 06/08/2020 13:41

Ha! As far as bad directions go. At uni I was heading to an exam and a young girl and her mum stopped me to ask where such and such building was and I said I dont know. Then bumped into them at that very building because it's where I was headed. I knew it by the department that's there not the building name. I just ignored them 😳

Yellowcakestand · 06/08/2020 13:53

Ex left some tools at the house. There was no side gate, he came back to pick some up from the garden and noticed his cement mixer was gone. I assumed that he had taken it when he was asking about it.
I didn't sell it at all

BitOfANameChange · 06/08/2020 13:54

Dear Ex, I took ALL my stuff when I left, which is why you only had a couple of saucepans and a wooden spoon to cook your meals. I regret not doing something petty, like a toothbrush up the bum but I ran out of time getting everything that belonged to me and the DC out of the house. Given your level of cooking skills though, you should be glad I left the microwave.

justilou1 · 06/08/2020 13:55

Dear DH... Remember how you didn’t shut the dog out of the kitchen and she boke into the pantry and ate a whole bag of dog food yesterday? Then when you got up the morning to let her out of the laundry, you were met by a sad-eyed dog on one side of the room and piles of diarrhea between her and you? Well, my sense of smell is much better than yours. That’s why I let you have the first shower and spent so long drying my hair. I’m really rather hoping you might have finally learned to shut the kitchen door.

JammyDodgerz1 · 06/08/2020 13:58

I accidentally spraying my neighbour's foxglove & a couple of other plants with weedol, & I'm slowly watching them die from my kitchen window. Due to the fact she reported me to the council for daring to have a bag of grass left to dry out overnight (for mulching). Then asking me to dispose of her rotting fence, which she was told no as someone mysteriously reported me for having an untidy garden. Then she puts a trellis up, breaks the stalk on my foxglove which is now totally dead. Then proceeds to paints the trellis & splashes it all over my expensive pot plants.

JammyDodgerz1 · 06/08/2020 13:58

I'm apologies.

DidgeDoolittle · 06/08/2020 14:04

Someone didn't drive into my car and drive off. It was me accidentally reversing into an invisible post.

anxietyaunt · 06/08/2020 14:06

DB - It was me who switched the hot and cold tap stickers around when we were young. Can’t remember what you did to piss me off but it was something. More to the point, why did you have to refer to the stickers at all?!

Also DB - Sorry about the honey in your ear while you were asleep. That was me too.

BlindAssassin1 · 06/08/2020 14:08

When a customer wanted a product and it had only just come off the lorry and it was ten feet deep into literally tonnes of other products, wrapped in meters and meters of cellophane I told the customer it wasn't in yet as the delivery was late.

This may have happened more than once.

I would like to formally apologise to the haulage industry for blaming you for my laziness but I will probably do it again.

oldperson1 · 06/08/2020 14:09

I would like to apologize to the couple who asked me to take a picture of them outside the Vatican in Rome ( they told me they were on a trip for their 25th)
I knew as soon as I had taken it I forgot to take my thumb off the lens.
In my defense I panic when people ask me to take a photo just gave them back the camera and legged it.

CorianderLord · 06/08/2020 14:34

When I was 13 I stole a pair of earrings from a girls house during her birthday party because she looked at me funny

SneakyBlinder · 06/08/2020 14:41

I opened my brothers advent calender at the end of November, from the bottom....slid the plastic tray of chocolates out and ate them all. Slid the tray back in and put it back.

I was only 8....he was 16 and in my opinion, far too old for an advent calendar!!!

eandz13 · 06/08/2020 14:50

I carved my sisters name in to our mums grand piano to try to make it look like she did it and get her in trouble. I was 5, my sister was 15. Worth a try at the time.
In my defence my sister broke our mums favourite house plant, propped it back up then nudged me in to it to make it look like I broke it later that day. She only confessed 20 years later!

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 06/08/2020 16:06

Questionable mouse...

He raped me the entirety of our relationship...
Twunt enough no?

EatsShootsAndRuns · 06/08/2020 19:37

I dropped the Victoria sandwich came I had made in school on the wet pavement. I scooped it up went home, filled it with jam and cream and served it to my family.

I didn't have any.

EatsShootsAndRuns · 06/08/2020 19:38

@Feralkidsatthecampsite

But you didn't know he was going to do that on the first date, did you?

Original poster

CuntyMcBollocks · 07/08/2020 15:44

SneakyBlinder my mum and aunt did that to me all the time

OP posts:

planningaheadtoday · 07/08/2020 16:03

It was me who 'forgot' to wash your indecent shorts that let your goods hang visibly low! I forgot to wash them for 18 months until you stopped looking for them. Then I binned them.

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