Wedding evening invite - has anyone else ever heard of this oddness?

[keiratwiceknightly]

This is some years ago but I hated it at the time and I'm interested if it was a unique bit of oddness on the part of the bridal family, or if it is a done thing?

I was bridesmaid for a big church wedding followed by a reception in the most expensive local hotel. The brides family were pretty well off and no expense was spared. At the church, all female guests who were invited to the main reception were given a corsage by the mother of the bride, anyone who was evening only didn't get one.

I'd never heard of this before or since. Has anyone else? And how would that sit with the "evening invite = second tier " narrative so beloved of mn wedding threads?

Same at my brother's wedding. I don't think it's weird. Corsages would likely be droopy/ dead by time the evening crowd arrive

I've been to loads of weddings as either a full day guest or a church and evening reception guest. I have never come across this, it's extremely weird.

Sounds a bit old school posh. Not the kind of crowd I mix with!

Were the evening invite people at the church? If they weren't there then that sounds fine to me, if they singled out the people that were at the church that were invited for the meal and gave them corsage that sounds weird. I'm not a wedding person tho so maybe there is one of the rules for/against this that I'm not aware of.

I’ve been to lots of weddings where all the church guests were given a carnation. Is this similar? A corsage was often worn by the two mothers.

There was a period in time where this was absolutley normal. Flowers arrived fresh in the morning and were given to guests early in the day they simply wouldnt have lasted until the evening.

I've been to several weddings where this has occurred. I think it is quite normal for traditionalist Church weddings

Yes some evening guests were at the church.

Nothing old school posh about the family. Both mum and dad grew up on council estates but dad made a lot of dough building houses.

Yes, this was normal when I got married in the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth, all church guests got a buttonhole flower provided by the couple. The mothers (of the bride and groom) got corsages.

Why were the evening guests even at the church? That's what I find weird

I did this , it was 24 years ago. I'm not posh I just thought it was a nice thing to do.

Just for day guests, nosuchluck?

The evening guests would have been old school friends, work colleagues etc but the bride married in the area she grew up in so lots came to the church and then joined us later.

Why would the evening guests need a corsage if they weren't at the church?

Just for day guests, nosuchluck

we did the same. Although we didn't have an evening do, only the afternoon reception. Because we married in a local church a lot of work colleagues and the church members also turned up. They were not officially invited and we only provided corsages for the actual invitees. Just because someone turns up for the church service does not mean they were invited as such.

I was at a wedding in 1980 where they did this. No-one batted an eyelid, so I assumed it was normal. (Though haven't experienced it since.)

It's usually only the actual wedding guests who are given a corsage. They are hardly going to be given out at an evening reception.

@Nosuchluck

I did this , it was 24 years ago. I'm not posh I just thought it was a nice thing to do.

It is and a perfectly normal thing to do.

Perhaps they only had enough for the guests who were going to the reception as they didn't expect evening guests to go to the church?

Nothing odd about going to the church as an evening guest is there?

I had strangers at mine who stayed on after the morning service!

@CalmdownJanet

Why were the evening guests even at the church? That's what I find weird

Why? Lots of our evening guests came to the church to watch us get married! We did get married locally though so it wasn’t a huge effort.

I’ve also been to the church to watch friends get married myself before going home and then going to the evening reception later on.

We gave out buttonholes at the church, none at the evening, that was 29 years ago.

Perfectly normal years ago for all church attendee guests to be given flowers to wear. Happened at my wedding, nothing posh about me or my family.

At all the Scottish weddings I've been to, the guests organize and wear their own corsages. (apart from the groom/bestman who get them provided as well as the bride's bouquet). It was a surprise to me when I attended an English wedding and got offered one. Made me think it was very generous of the bridal party, but wasn't the norm where I'm from.

We also gave them out at the church.

Thought that it was standard.

Sorry if I've caught the wrong end of the stick - I'm not British, but do you mean that guests are invited to the church, NOT invited to the meal/reception and then allowed back for the evening party? Is this normal? I can't get my head around it.

@Scruffymac

Sorry if I've caught the wrong end of the stick - I'm not British, but do you mean that guests are invited to the church, NOT invited to the meal/reception and then allowed back for the evening party? Is this normal? I can't get my head around it.

I think that that has been known to happen, but more likely they were invited to evening only, but decided to go to the ceremony.

It's a church & as such you don't need an invitation.