To think sometimes parenting is a joke?

[Keeva2017]

Just having myself a little pity party but then started to think, no, this shit is ridiculous sometimes.

After a 4.30am wake up call from my Baby who was a good sleeper, but has now sacked it off completely, Iv now been awake 22 hours.

My poor 3 year old is also victim to her sisters knobbish behaviour this morning and has therefore been a ratty little thing herself all day. Got a toy dyson in the face from that one albeit accidentally but tell that to my shiner. Also led to me having to abandon plans to get out and about and come home because she was playing up and some people’s eyes were rolling so hard I thought they would fall out.

Tried to do the Aldi big shop the other day but some fucker had put normal trolleys in front of the baby ones and after trying to get help/sort it out I had to abandon it and head to Lidl. Where I had to queue with baby outside followed by a rain shower that was not fucking forecast, which I know because I checked and put my washing out before I left.

My baby is still kicking off despite all my usual moves so no doubt the neighbours will be less than cheery with me.

Getting lectures from the HV about my 3 year old being a fussy eater and needing a more varied diet.... no shit, why haven’t I been googling every trick in the book just to get one fucking pea down her neck. Oh wait, I have.

I know people have it worse. I know there is a global pandemic and I should be happy to be alive. I am. But Christ almighty these examples are just this week. Is this just me? Aibu to think most parents have to put up with this shit? Or am I just an incompetent tosser whose kids are going to need a lot of therapeutic intervention to recover from my shit parenting?

So glad my literal shit-show of a life amuses you all

DD (6) suggested we put a swimming nappy on him at bathtime from now on. Am actually considering it! Although Keeva2017 I'm thinking a bit of light waterboarding may be in order if he does it again. Disclaimer: I am joking...sort of.

I need this today.
Teens who only surface from technology for long enough to shout at each other and wind the four year old up...
Four year old who has learnt from siblings and just shouts at everyone...
One year old who is very strong willed, won’t walk in the right direction, won’t hold my hand, screams blue murder every time I change their nappy, loves emptying the recycling all over the floor...

So much mess created all day every day. I’m not allowed to complain at all to DP because he thinks I’m living the life of Riley while he’s out working hard all day. In some ways yes it’s easier being at home but my god dealing with the four of them all day every day is exhausting and soul destroying.

Oh god, speaking of waterboarding I forgot to mention the many, many years when DD was utterly water-phobic (except, oddly enough, for swimming which was fine). I couldn't get her washed without getting soaked to the skin myself, or lamped in the face, or both. Many memories of her screaming blue murder and holding a facecloth over her face while I attempted to rinse her hair off. It's a fucking miracle the neighbours never called the NSPCC on us, the racket she would make.

At least these days she lets me wash her. Occasionally. And I only get half-soaked rather than drenched.

FML.

I do love her unconditionally BTW and she has brought great joy to my life since the day she was born. I would protect her with my own life and honestly never recover if anything ever happened to her.

But fucking hell it's hard work. How anyone copes with multiple children, I will never know!

Bit of advice for any of you as-yet-childless people reading this who are trying to decide whether to have kids: get a cat instead. You can thank me later.

And here's me thinking about adding a puppy i.e. eternal toddler into the mix at some point soonish... I must be utterly mad.

I haven't read all the posts except your first one and the first page and I think you are doing amazing even standing up! My 2 Co sleep still eldest(7)with daddy and 4 yo with me. I can't remember the last time my oh and I slept in the same bed.. Its mentally draining and exhausting and I will tell people like it is. Of course we wouldn't be without and we love them blah blah but I'm just fed up of them not appreciating anything and we having to do everything all the bloody time! I mean all I do is cook clean and give them food every hour. All they do is fight. My 7yo has got some behavioural issues that we keep burying our heads in the sand about he swears all the time and I think we need to have him assessed for some underlying anger. He watches those stupid you tubers gamers who swear every second word. We've banned that banned this taken away everything he still does it. No holiday clubs around us. I took them out at 9am this morning after they woke at 6am having gone to bed at 10am and all I get is abuse from the elder one. And how they're bored. Bloody learn coding or maths or something! Oh wfh thinking he's running the world because I think he thinks he's the only one in the whole country to wfh atm. Thanks for setting up a thread like this as it's clear we aren't alone in our feelings thanks and hope u get some sleep tonight!

10pm*

@PossiblePoodleParent I also wanted to get a puppy what's the point tho another kid????

Great thread! I am bemused by the LIES touted about parenting, especially babies. I didn't like the baby stage at all, mainly the exhaustion and worry, but also the loss of self. My DD is three now and beyond gorgeous, but I am still exhausted and ache all over. Very little time for myself. Work is quite a relief - and I'm a nursery teacher But now it's summer holidays...
As other posters have said, I wouldn't be without her for anything, the love is extraordinary, but I remember the child free days vividly and would never judge anyone for choosing not to have kids. It's hard. And I definitely won't be having a second!

I had a little gem from my 17 year old last night. 12.45 am I'm struggling to drop off and I could hear him chatting animatedly and loudly to his brother. I asked him to be quiet and was told 'but its not even one am' as if I was the unreasonable one

Bloody hell, Piratetree, teenagers, a four year old and a baby! You deserve a medal and ALL of the and (we need an emoji for Valium) just for keeping them all alive. I genuinely don't think I would cope.

@Ynwa1234 yeah I must be insane considering getting a puppy, but I think it'll be really good for DD and also for the rest of us TBH as it'll mean we HAVE to get out and walk every day. Poor child sees how everyone she knows has at least one sibling AND a dog. She ain't getting a sibling, but the dog is do-able. Going to be stressful at first though as - in addition to doing the puppy stage generally - everything will have to be planned with military precision to avoid upsetting the cats!

@PossiblePoodleParent definitely sounds like it'll be a military op! Bless your daughter I do know puppies also bring you such a joy so good luck with it all!

@OhToBeASeahorse
That made me laugh, bloody toddlers!

Oh l remember the time my baby head butted me and made my mouth bleed. Thankfully she never did that again!! Op it can be grim!!! But your post made me laugh a bit, sorry!!

It's fine. Mine are 25 and 21 years old now and left home a few years ago. It's bliss now. Just think, only another 20 years to go before you get your life back...

OP I am totally with you.
@Haditall you said it all. And @thistimelastweek. Solidarity.

Have some very rare time to myself this evening and am sitting in silence, havent even put on the TV. Its blissful, especially after a day where ds has decided he will continue talking/being loud when I'm on work calls, even though I beg him to be quiet.... and dbaby (13 months) discovered he can open the bin and try to eat food he finds in there and has managed to get his way inside the massive fireguard I bought in the middle of summer just to protect him from the sharp edges of the fireplace

and dbaby (13 months) discovered he can open the bin and try to eat food he finds in there

My DD (also 13 months) discovered the kitchen bin last weekend, and her new favourite game is posting things into it. Today it was the tv remote

and dbaby (13 months) discovered he can open the bin and try to eat food he finds in there

Ugh. My DS tried to eat cat food the other day...and yet regularly rejects my cooking!
I know I'm no Nigella by any stretch of the imagination, but when your child would rather tuck into some Go-Kat than eat the meals you've lovingly prepared for them it's hard not to take that personally.

DS is at the throwing tantrums for ridiculous reasons stage eg the cat ran away from me, I took my Duplo apart and now it's 'broken', I put your shoes on but they're too big for me, and so on. He headbutted me in the jaw last week, and last night wanted to get in the bath with DH and then shat in there 😂. I'm thankful we only have one , the two adults one toddler ratio is just about manageable.

@PossiblePoodleParent I'm not sure about that my cat is an arsehole. Deliberately eagles the toddler by meowing outside his room and vomited in DHs shoes a few weeks ago, coins all over me as soon as the child is in bed because clearly I've not had enough of that and now DS is sleeping through more the cat has started charging around meowing and jumping on us at 4am.....

Just one toddler here (plus cat) but she is currently being a complete nightmare and will not nap (third day this week). She is so tired that if she sat still for 30 seconds she'd be asleep but instead she is tantrumming every couple of minutes over nothing. Have just given up on the nap after over an hour of battling her.

The worst of it is that right now I'm starting to regret having her, and that makes me feel terrible.

Oh I love these threads. Some of my friends don’t have such feisty children and look at me sideways when I complain. It is actually getting better now youngest is nearly 2, give me a toddler over a baby any day, but it is still relentless. I’m too fucking tired to even think of an entertaining example of how shite it can be!!

I had to cheerily shout "don't worry, he's not being abused, he's just having his teeth cleaned!" to our neighbour through the window the other day 👍🏼

We went to do a food shop this morning and he never stopped talking to draw breath. It was constant. I couldn't think straight. I basically just bought loads of biscuits, and cheese. So that is what we'll be eating for the foreseeable.

Which is fine because "I love cheese don't I mummy, cheese is my favourite, and ham, is it called ham because you go "ham" when you eat it? That lady has a nice dress on, doesn't she Mummy. You have a nice dress but you don't wear it do you mummy? Look here is an onion, is an onion on our list? Mummy can I drive the trolley, I shall be the controller, will you make me a joystick so I can be the real controller? OH NO! WE'VE FORGOTTEN SHAMPOO!! had we best go back round to get some shampoo?" And on and on...

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit yes cats can be arseholes indeed. Last night I was standing outside at 11.30pm trying to get younger cat in for the night, he was just laid on the neighbour's flat kitchen roof laughing at me. Then DH moved into DD's room so she could have his half of the bed and hopefully get me a better night's sleep - no matter how religiously I insist on putting her to bed in her own room, she always sleepwalks through and climbs in with me in the early hours. I don't notice, but wake a bit later (goddamn bladder hasn't let me have a full night's sleep for years, never mind kid/cats) and end up in HER bed trying desperately to get back to sleep. Sometimes she then 'wakes' (sleepwalks) again and comes in search of me, back to her own bed!! So anyway, last night I really hoped I was getting a decent sleep as she was already in the room with me but in her own space. And despite not getting to sleep until 12.30am, I figured at least I could sleep through except for my nighttime wees. So elder cat, who loves me unconditionally, decided that I would be lonely in my half of the bed and plonked herself right in the middle. All night. Spent the night failing to sleep because I didn't want to disturb my poor kitty (rescue cat, took 18 months to calm down and settle in and now devoted to me so I don't want to give her reason to think I'm not equally devoted to her). Oh and did I mention that I have a stinking cold, and couldn't breathe most of the night so kept waking to blow my nose every hour?

This morning DD slept until 11am (that has NEVER happened before). So she'll be up even later tonight. DH is in a foul mood having slept badly on a too-soft mattress. And my cold is getting more delightful by the hour.

But hey, DD slept well and the cat was happy.