To think sometimes parenting is a joke?

[Keeva2017]

Just having myself a little pity party but then started to think, no, this shit is ridiculous sometimes.

After a 4.30am wake up call from my Baby who was a good sleeper, but has now sacked it off completely, Iv now been awake 22 hours.

My poor 3 year old is also victim to her sisters knobbish behaviour this morning and has therefore been a ratty little thing herself all day. Got a toy dyson in the face from that one albeit accidentally but tell that to my shiner. Also led to me having to abandon plans to get out and about and come home because she was playing up and some people’s eyes were rolling so hard I thought they would fall out.

Tried to do the Aldi big shop the other day but some fucker had put normal trolleys in front of the baby ones and after trying to get help/sort it out I had to abandon it and head to Lidl. Where I had to queue with baby outside followed by a rain shower that was not fucking forecast, which I know because I checked and put my washing out before I left.

My baby is still kicking off despite all my usual moves so no doubt the neighbours will be less than cheery with me.

Getting lectures from the HV about my 3 year old being a fussy eater and needing a more varied diet.... no shit, why haven’t I been googling every trick in the book just to get one fucking pea down her neck. Oh wait, I have.

I know people have it worse. I know there is a global pandemic and I should be happy to be alive. I am. But Christ almighty these examples are just this week. Is this just me? Aibu to think most parents have to put up with this shit? Or am I just an incompetent tosser whose kids are going to need a lot of therapeutic intervention to recover from my shit parenting?

We probably spend about 75% of our lives doing stuff we'd frankly rather not be doing.

This really sums it up, I think. I remember one night at 3am holding my child for hours trying to get him to sleep (he woke and screamed any time I put him down) just being absolutely desperate for some sleep. And thinking to myself, any time you think you might want another child, remember the hours and hours of doing this, which literally add up to weeks if not months of your life in pain and despair! Thank God those days are behind me although I'm genuinely dreading the teen years...

It can be complete shit.

And your health visitor can fuck right off too

I agree with the poster who said this thread is excellent contraception and good to look at if you’re feeling broody. I must be bonkers but I keep thinking about a number 3. Then I think of all the above and the broodiness subsides 😂. Must be some trick of Mother Nature keeps telling you you want more!

OP you made me smile. I have 2 kids under 3 and I'm right there with you. It's definitely shit most days!
I hear it gets better though? Maybe in 16years........

My 8 month old has done nothing but whinge for hours today and has started sleeping like shit. Will wake up at some random fucking hour, have some milk and then flail around in his cot like a fish for 90 minutes.

He has broken my dh who has been home all week. He's been referring to him as devil child and genuinely looks like a sad, sad man.

My 13 year old called dh a jerk tonight because he asked him why he hasn't finished his homework. I told him to turn the tv off for calling him a jerk and he stormed out with a "FINE".
30 mins later pops head in 'sorry mum love you'.

@BerylSilverstone we have the same kids. The sarcasm and moaning wtf is that about?
I don't remember being so bloody moany at that age. My ds' favourite line is 'this is stupid'.

It's a massive con!

@yourenotwrong I don’t know what he keeps finding to moan about, honestly!
Everything is such a big deal, even getting his shoes on! He won’t do anything without me asking repeatedly and then eventually does it with much face pulling g and sighing. But if I don’t ask him to do it so he’s ready in time then he’ll be moaning that’s he’s got to rush! I can’t win at the moment haha.
I put some of it down to hormones and growing up because he’s quite sensitive at the moment as well. Everything seems to embarrass him x

You can tell no politician has ever looked after their own child for more than 1 hour because otherwise they would have opened the bloody softplay by now! (Our playgrounds are still closed too before anyone suggests that!)

So far today we've both cried multiple times and I stress ate a bar of dairy milk before 11am.

In the last few days my toddlers have done the following between them:

Chucked two large punnets of strawberries in a mid shop rage, which flew everywhere upon impact with the floor.

Shoved a raisin size piece of shit up my nostril when laying on the sofa in a daze after a sleepless night. It was as horrifying as it sounds. I could smell shit all day no matter how much I blew my nose.

3 year old twatted me in the crotch with his wooden stool because I dared to help him count to 20.

Smashed a cream cheese sandwich in my hair which I had just washed and styled for this first time in ages. Followed with a sarcastic "accident" and shoulder shrug from my 3 year old.

I needed this thread today op!

@loveacry how do they know exactly where to batter you to inflict the most pain. Our 3 year old has pretty much put a stop any possibility of a 3rd child ( not that there was much fucking chance) due to regularly kneeing her dad right where it hurts. He literally wretched she got him so hard once.

I really needed the solidarity of other loving but fucked off parents, so thank you!

Oh my God, I needed this today. Have just brought “wine o’clock” forward an hour because I am done in.
My 8 year old DD is pushing my limits farther than I ever thought possible.
I’m mentally begging for bedtime, begging for the next couple of years to fly by so she grows up a bit.
If I knew the reality of my life right now, I would never have had kids.

I've put YABU, because you are !

You are TOTALLY unreasonable to think, even for a nanosecond, that everyone other parent of little ones isn't doing the exact same as you and thinking they're crappy parents

We've ALL done it got the book, the t-shirt and the bloody DVD of feeling like the World's Worst Parent

Everything from jammy toast being posted through the flap of the video player, fairy liquid down the loo ( which overflowed bloody bubbles for a week!), dinosaur tails being used to poke at poo in toilet then being left on my bed, a dead frog left in my bed, a bucket of sand put down bath plughole, a whole sack of dry dog food emptied on grass outside (for the ants!!), permanent black marker used to draw on newly decorated bedroom walls, 3 (yes 3!) burst beanbags in 1 day in 1 room (Took months to stop finding bloody polystyrene balls everywhere), toilet actually broken by doing chemistry experiment..............the list is endless ..........but both my DH, DC's and Me survived !!!!

When out DC were small, my DH used to ask every morning ''What's your plan for today ?'' Most days I answered ''survival !''

I personally take my hat off to you (metaphorically, obviously), because now it's your turn to mould the next generation.

Just remember, you're doing brilliantly [grin

Solidarity first bump to everyone on here.

My 3 year has also turned into a constantly moany demanding creature, I dread when I have to take her to the shops. She keeps turning round and blowing loud raspberries at sweet old ladies who then give me shocked tut-tut faces.

Came up and wiped a bogey on my face recently and the latest delight - 'mummy smell my (va)gina finger'.

I've told her not to do that one especially in public.

My 7 year old just said I was the meanest person in the world and stomped off upstairs because I asked him to turn YouTube down a bit. I thought it was teens that were supposed to have strops like that? Give me strength 🙄

On the plus side I've gone back to work this week (been on furlough). I love the bones off DS but my god, 4 months of lockdown with just him and I has been too much. Now he can go to holiday club and blow steam off with other kids and I get a few hours of child free time at work.

@InTheFamilyTree dying at smell my vagina finger

DH told me today that when he met his current boss, he said that we were struggling with our 2 DC. Boss looked sympathetic and said he has 9. DH was like WTF, NINE DC???

I frowned and said why did you say we were struggling with 2? DH just looked at me and said "it was 4 years ago".

Ah yes. 4 years ago. With a nearly 5 year who still woke 5-6 times every single night (severe reflux plus nightmares every night) and a 2 year old who woke 3-4 times a night and was up for the day at 5.30am no matter what time he went to bed.

They sleep better now but my god the strops from the nearly 9 year old are annoying. And the complaining.

My 10 month old’s going through a shrieking phase.
Mainly when I won’t let him sit on my knee when I’m trying to use the loo, or when I eat anything without letting him try it first, or when I won’t let him fiddle with his own shitty bollocks during a nappy change.
It’s a joy.
But then, he’s just learned to cuddle and his little arms squeezing my neck are somehow enough to make me put up with the unrelenting hard work of looking after him and his siblings.
Literally the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
Parenting is such a head-fuck.

Reading all this I can't fathom why women have children. It sounds 98% shit 2% wonderful.

I’ve just spent 2 Hours hours shhhing my 18 month old to sleep and rubbing his back!

Ah jez can relate

Love love your humour

But fck the people who roll their eyes

Sounds like you are doing an amazing job

Sending you hugs if that's allowed on MN?❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I have 2dc 10 and 5. I keep thinking about having another (my switch has not quite turned off yet). This thread is reminding me of the baby days and I'm starting to waver

or when I won’t let him fiddle with his own shitty bollocks during a nappy change

😚