To think sometimes parenting is a joke?

[Keeva2017]

Just having myself a little pity party but then started to think, no, this shit is ridiculous sometimes.

After a 4.30am wake up call from my Baby who was a good sleeper, but has now sacked it off completely, Iv now been awake 22 hours.

My poor 3 year old is also victim to her sisters knobbish behaviour this morning and has therefore been a ratty little thing herself all day. Got a toy dyson in the face from that one albeit accidentally but tell that to my shiner. Also led to me having to abandon plans to get out and about and come home because she was playing up and some people’s eyes were rolling so hard I thought they would fall out.

Tried to do the Aldi big shop the other day but some fucker had put normal trolleys in front of the baby ones and after trying to get help/sort it out I had to abandon it and head to Lidl. Where I had to queue with baby outside followed by a rain shower that was not fucking forecast, which I know because I checked and put my washing out before I left.

My baby is still kicking off despite all my usual moves so no doubt the neighbours will be less than cheery with me.

Getting lectures from the HV about my 3 year old being a fussy eater and needing a more varied diet.... no shit, why haven’t I been googling every trick in the book just to get one fucking pea down her neck. Oh wait, I have.

I know people have it worse. I know there is a global pandemic and I should be happy to be alive. I am. But Christ almighty these examples are just this week. Is this just me? Aibu to think most parents have to put up with this shit? Or am I just an incompetent tosser whose kids are going to need a lot of therapeutic intervention to recover from my shit parenting?

@formerbabe it's absolutely maddening, isn't it? Luckily he doesn't do it every time, which is just as well as I'd have put him up for rehoming by now ;-)

Oh god. I'm due with my first in ten weeks and am convinced I've made the biggest mistake ever and my life is ruined.

Hats off to all the women out there with more than one, all the women raising children with additional needs and all the ones doing it alone. We recently shed about 18 stone of unhelpful weight ourselves. I can't remember when I last had a lie in or didn't wake up without something attached to my tit. As I write this I am locked in an epic battle over chocolate biscuits with my toddler which we both know will end in Just one more! But I have to put up the fight its part of caring. I can't shit in peace. I miss being able to go to the toilet. I actually crap in under 2 minutes nowadays because there's no other option and during this time the toilet roll has a 50 % chance of being ripped or thrown in the bath or in the toilet. who new motherhood could make u poo quicker. Everything is fucking hard work hands in toilet hands in bin. Clothes coming off the maiden. Wanting to press buttons on oven and washing machine. Biting and hitting me for attention in fact she just slapped me across the face with a wet nappy so that was great. And have to utter that stupid kind hands arghh I hate it it's so stupid it makes us all sound like idiots. But when she copies me or says new words and when she falls asleep I feel such crazy fierce love for her. Oh and when I try and be firm she laughs in my face. Toddlers are the devil! but we still drag our tired used bodies up for their every need. I wouldn't be without her for the world. Fingers crossed it gets easier!

DD is 3, DS is 7 months - lockdown was not how I planned my maternity leave....

DD's behaviour since lockdown has been awful, full on tantrums and screaming at the slightest thing. She has gone backwards with potty training and refuses to use the potty most days.

DS has randomly started waking at 5.30/6am most days and won't go back to sleep. He is getting frustrated at his attempts to crawl so keeps having mini meltdowns. Shoving him under the play mat no longer holds his interest for more than 5 seconds.....

I haven't had a minute to myself in months as DD refuses to go to bed on time, it's usually around 8/9pm, brief time for cleaning the toy carnage left behind then I am up to bed myself and start it all again at 5.30am.....

I absolutely love babies but when I see mums out and about with tiny babies, all I think is thank god that isn't me.

And this is why large wine glasses are invented x

I’m just stuck for things to do each day, I have a 3 and 6 year old, I’m so jealous my husband gets to go to work. I’ve just completely run out of ideas, everything costs so much money, usually we have a lovely summer going to the local pool and joining in with activities at the library but nothing is Open! I’m at the end of my tether!

Oh and all the mums I know irl, write nonsense on Facebook on their kids birthday, saying "slow down time". I'm like woop, another year done!

Don't worry people, it gets easier. Once they go to uni, you do quite miss them

This thread is excellent contraception!

Every time i get broody i will read this thread! 1 is enough for me!

So glad I'm not the only one feeling #blessed to be a parent right now! I have a 6yo who has morphed into a stroppy, hormonal teenager over lockdown and a 2yo who NEVER sleeps. The older one is pissed off and emotional due to the younger one waking her up. The younger one is pissed off and emotional due to teething. DH won't be home from work until 8pm at the earliest. If I hear the word "snack" one more time I may kill someone.
Every mum I know seems to be bollocking on about how much they love the school holidays, enjoying family time, spending every day out having "adventures".... meanwhile were not even dressed yet.
I know being cooped up indoors probably isn't good for any of us, but I've hit a wall today. I can't face the thought of going out to do all the enriching, educational and "fun" activities I feel pressure to be doing. Neither do I want to do anymore arts and fucking crafts or imaginary play or build lego. I've been up since 4.30am and I just want to spend the day in my pyjamas, eating posh crisps and watching shit TV while I fantasise about running away and starting a new life in a town where no one knows me.

I agree completely. As much as I love my 16 month old girl she really has done a number on me in some ways

Traumatic birth which put my mental health down the pan, I’m still not all there, constant breastfeeding in the early days.

I haven’t had a tidy house in all the time she has been here, toys everywhere, just about a chance to do the dishes and laundry and cleaning. She has so much stuff, I don’t have things for myself anymore because I never get a chance to use them anyway.

Constant anxiety over whether she is ok, always falling over and bumping herself.

Not had a full nights sleep in two years

Huge tantrums and refusing to get in her car seat so despite setting off 15 minutes early I am often late for things.

The feeding, food, breast milk

Biting, hitting, hair pulling - always on the receiving end.

But she is funny, has a sense of humour, and she looks sweet when she is sleeping, plus at this stage she comes up and gives me cuddles and kisses which is adorable.

Sometimes parenthood feels like nothing is going right but there are the moments that make it worth it

Awful awful awful awful awful. I've got one living at his Dads cos I am like so unreasonable asking him to occasionally get some sleep. One on the brink of a nervous breakdown and hasnt eaten for 3 days and won't leave her room. And the smallest who only plays on his games and eats breaded chicken because I can't have any time off work and I feel like my head will explode. Awful.

@Haditall

Parenting is shit.i wish I'd never bothered, no shit,no lie. Doesnt mean i dont love them,I'd literally die for the little fuckers,but damn I've never felt so tested and exhausted.

Have been feeling a bit down recently, have had PND, on meds, back off meds into this crazy pandemic and now WFH with dbaby and ds 6 here since March, had to work 60 hours overtime as well as my FT hours in July to stay on top of things, all with the DC here. I put on a bit of makeup this morning (it's a bank holiday here) and when I looked in the mirror I realised I actually dont recognise myself any more. All I see is an exhausted person looking back, the makeup cant hide that 🤷‍♀️

Bought our first house this year. I lay in bed watching 3 year old in the bathroom. I COULD SEE her, she looked innocent. She managed to flood the floor, which leaked through the kitchen ceiling through the light fixtures. £260 to an electrician.

To those with PND although I clearly know fuck all and am absolutely unqualified to give advice, il just say I was there after my first. It’s the most miserable head fuck going. Get whatever help, take whatever time and do whatever gets you through it fastest. Ignore any Tom, Twat or Harry who makes you feel anything but supported. Your people are on this thread and won’t tell you “to enjoy every minute” those people are either wankers or have drunk so much since their children were small, they have forgotten.

I put on a bit of makeup this morning (it's a bank holiday here) and when I looked in the mirror I realised I actually dont recognise myself any more. All I see is an exhausted person looking back, the makeup cant hide that

I know this feeling. Sometimes I catch sight of myself in a mirror and think "who the fuck is this knackered old woman??" Before DC2 came along I would always get ID'd when buying wine in the supermarket and people's mouths would hang open in shock when they found out I was in my 30's. He has aged me massively in his two short years of life. I don't look like me anymore. I don't feel like me anymore. I'm just someone's Mum now.

I have four, seven and twenty year old sons. The eldest will be attending a police station tomorrow represented by a lawyer by zoom to be charged with a motoring offence, so yeah, I’m feeling quite a shit parent right now and thinking the little two can play up quite a lot today and it still won’t be as shit as this 😢

too many of you mums are spoiling your kids.
do not have teens that expect you to do their washing FFS!
teach them to do it.
Yes parenting is really hard work
`but don't blame society
there are enough warnings.......we love them but they will destroy you unless you take more control.
If you let them grow up expecting to get what they want all the time then you are so fucked!

I don't feel like me anymore. I'm just someone's Mum now

I often feel like a robot who exists solely to perform household chores

I have been told lot's of times by HV to get support from friends and family but of course we can't because we can't get too close to others. My parents and MIL are vulnerable, can't mix with friends and most of my friends and other family are working anyway.
Loneliness and exhaustion is the worst. I don't think any stage of parenting is easy. I remember with my first thinking it must get easier as they get older. In a lot of ways it does but then there are different problems.
I do love this thread. I can remember last year telling my friend I found parenting hard and shit (she's a mum so thought she'd get it) but she looked at me as if I'd suggested dipping the children in acid. So glad to find others who get it.

This thread has made my day, I'm almost in tears. Almost all of you are emulating my feelings at the moment. Obviously I love my child (20 month old DS), but fuck me it is hard work putting a smile on every day. Then DH wants attention in the evening! A week on my own in a hotel would do nicely please.

I'm on furlough at the moment and for not sign up for this SAHM business. I salute you all

I remember this so well!
My youngest son is 6 and it’s only in the past 6 months or so that dh and I actually have our bed to ourselves. Prior to this he used to be in with us any time from 3, 4, 5 in the morning (if we were really lucky). He would just keep calling ‘mum’ all night if we didn’t give in. He and his brother don’t really interact except when they’re arguing with each other. Neither of them listen to a word I say. Everything takes repeated asking-getting dresses, brushing teeth, getting shoes on. Sometimes I get sick of the sound of my own voice nagging at them. Neither of them ever want to do anything except stare at a screen all day.
Getting either of them to do their homework is exhausting and requires constant supervision/pestering from myself. My 11 year old moans about everything. He’s states making sarcastic remarks about everything lately too. These are just a few examples [🙂.
Having said all this, I adore them both. They are my life. Sometimes they can be so loving. But yes it’s often exhausting and thankless.

@Rosebel “dipping the children in acid” you’ve not lost your humour (or at least I hope not ).

There are a lot of people like your friend out there and my theories are this 1)they genuinely do love every aspect of parenting. Weird, I don’t get it but I think these people do exist.

2. they are scared to admit it. Because they are either ashamed or they worry they don’t love their children as much as they should if they admit how they really feel.

Maybe take a couple of the posters on here who you relate to and private message them? Just having a sweary truthful run down internet friend to vent to could be a good step.

Has anyone seen Working moms? It’s fucking ace. There’s a bit where one mum says she wants a break where her brain is switched off and she just lies there still for a week. The woman running the group is horrified and says “that’s a coma!”. Exhausted mum is like yep, that’s what I want, to be in a coma.
Some days a coma would be fucking lovely.