Wine whilst pregnant?

[radiomumma]

Hi, long time member but I have name changed because many people (myself included I suppose) see this as a taboo subject.
I am in the beginning of my second trimester with my second child.
I wouldn't consider myself a big drinker but I do appreciate a nice glass of wine on a lovely sunny afternoon!
I have read loads about not drinking in the first trimester as this can be a damaging time for babies development. So far I haven't touched a drop (and didn't in my first pregnancy if that matters)
This afternoon I am really craving a nice cold glass of white wine. I have researched and researched about light drinking in pregnancy but honestly find the results to be 50.50.
I am aware that the official advice is to abstain completely but it is that really necessary? I've seen a lot online about this being a heavy handed approach due to the general lack of trust in pregnant women to do the 'right' thing (but that's another thread altogether!)
Of course I have read about the devastating affects of Fetal Alcohol syndrome but on the flip side of the coin is that many women have enjoyed the odd glass of wine and their babies have been absolutely fine.
So, my question is AIBU to enjoy a glass of wine whilst pregnant? TIA x

If you've done all this reading, can't you make your own mind up?

Or do you just want to kick off the inevitable bunfight and nastiness which you should know this post will result in, given that you're a long time member.

I personally didn't risk it for the sake of a glass. I never needed one that badly.

I did not have my DS in the UK, I was pregnant in The Netherlands. I was told that a small glass of one (one per day and small!) was fine.

@Yarboosucks thank you. I've spent many years living and working in Europe and I thought this was the case! I think this is maybe where my somewhat relaxed attitude comes from. Rules change from country to country along with opinions. I guess this just adds to my confusion!

@Lockheart wow, no that wasn't my intention at all. I'm sorry if my question has upset you. I was honestly looking for 'real-life' thoughts on this topic rather than vague inherent jargon.

I didn't drink prior to 12 week scan. There are key times in foetal development that cause FAS so please be aware but it sounds like you've done your research. I had the odd glass after 12 weeks eg once a week but didn't go mad. From my own reading and research it seems an absolute lottery. Even daily drinking alcoholics have given birth to babies that don't have FAS...
I chilled a bit more after the 20 WK scan and all the blood tests etc and would have maybe a couple of glasses of fruit cider a week.
Becks Blue isn't bad if you like lager. I'm not keen on AF wine and wouldn't go for spirits anyway.

I was warned off lettuce as if it was sent by the devil! I craved lettuce and would wash it very thoroughly to get my fix! Wine tasted all wrong and so I would confine myself to the occasional sip from Dh's glass. Even very fine wine tasted too acidic.

I’m having up to one 125ml glass a week if I fancy it after 12 weeks- this is what I did in my first pregnancy. It’s not like I do it every week but if we go out for dinner I might, or recently we went to a 6 person outdoor wedding reception so I joined in the toasting.

You haven't upset me OP, but I'm baffled that a long term member would look for answers on such a controversial question in AIBU, which has already been done to death and which never ends well. Unless they were looking to kick off an argument.

If you are genuinely looking for people's experiences, I suggest you don a hard hat and a flameproof suit...

A little of what you fancy! You don't see women in Spain, Italy, etc going teetotal for nine months! Just don't drink the whole bottle and open another one!

Could you make it into a spritzer?

I personally didn’t drink during either pregnancies but I’m not a drinker anyway- sorry that doesn’t help! I genuinely prefer an Appleteiser or elderflower, unless the aim is get totally pissed when out dancing!! Basically am all or nothing kinda person!

I can’t see the harm in the occasional glass.

Just have a glass of wine, it's not going to do any harm at this point!

True reading “expecting better”. It’s a good meta analysis of research. There is NO evidence at all that drinking small amounts of alcohol does any damage at all. However, that doesn’t mean it’s safe or not! Just means there are no studies which show moderate drinking has any impact of the healthy outcome of a pregnancy.
There is plenty of research showing the horrendous impact of heavy drinking and for the most part the logic is that if drinking a lot is very bad then drinking a bit must be a bit bad. I think the logic is understandable but many experts int eh area believe that actually there’s a tipping point. A threshold for which alcohol consumption has no impact at all and it’s only once this threshold is crossed that damage is done.
I actually agree with the later view. I have read extensively on the subject, looking at research papers and the structure of the studies into the impact of alcohol consumption in pregnancy. But this is my opinion! While it’s shared with many drs I’m not an expert. I’m in T2 and have the very occasional small glass of wine.
Good luck with your pregnancy OP. X

Please don't. My DD has lifelong brain damage from her birth mother drinking in pregnancy and she was by no means a heavy drinker. Why not give your child the best chance you can?

I had a glass after my 16wk gender scan, and a glass of moet at a wedding when I was about 24wks. A one off glass won’t do any harm.

I think it’s your body & your choice, only you can decide. Great that you’ve done lots of research & I’m interested to see other views too so I can totally see why you’ve posted this. 😊

I’m 10 weeks pregnant at the moment with my first baby. For me I miss the odd glass of wine too but have decided I won’t be drinking at all throughout my pregnancy as to me it feels like a small window of time in the grand scheme of things & I don’t think I’d be able to enjoy it without feeling guilty. It’s my first baby though so I’m guessing it’s natural to feel more cautious. If I did fancy a drink I’d probably make myself a really nice soft drink, maybe elderflower cordial with lots of ice in it in a nice glass too to trick myself into being satisfied I’m having something nice/a treat & I reckon that’d work for me. 😁

Really interesting that there is different advice across Europe & it makes sense as our drinking culture in the UK is often quite different so as you say it’s possibly a blanket approach in terms of recommendations here for that reason.

There is no proved “safe” level of alcohol in pregnancy. Whilst the effects of drinking to excess in pregnancy are well documented the effects of drinking small amounts is not (and probably will never be).

I was pregnant with DD1 in 2000/2001. I had the 4 alcoholic drinks spread over the second and third trimester (probably around just under 8 units in total).

With DD2 (2003/04) and DS (2010/2011) I did not drink at all. When I think about it I still (slightly) regret those 8 units I drank when pregnant with DD1. This is not something I agonise over. But I wish I hadn’t done it. Three years ago DD1 developed a life threatening condition (now thankfully well in recovery). But I did question whether the tiny amount of alcohol I drank had an impact on her (amongst questioning lots of other things too). Who knows. Probably not. But if I could have spared myself this concern amongst all the other concerns I would have.

You have done all the research and really don’t need a bunch of random people telling you what to do. But since you ask - no I wouldn’t drink at all.

Tbh if your investing so much time reading up and thinking about this i wouldnt bother. Sounds like if you have a glass your going to end up with a dose of guilt. Kind of takes the enjoyment out of it

@Yerroblemom1923 thank you. That's really good to know. It's the whole 'lottery' thing that worries me! But as you say, the odd glass seems to be fine.

@Yarboosucks that made me laugh about the lettuce! It reminds me of my Nan in my first pregnancy telling me 'I shouldn't be eating all that Indian food as it can't be good for the baby' (I didn't have the heart to tell her that many millions of babies born in India with the same cuisine are absolutely fine haha)

@Pogmella thank you. I feel the same, on the odd special occasion I can't see the problem either.

@Lockheart I'm glad I didn't upset you. I've put my hard hat on along with my flameproof suit but so far... so good! Everyone has been really kind and helpful. Exactly what I was hoping for.

@katy1213 thank you! My thoughts exactly!

@OverTheRainbow88 thank you. That's a great idea about the spritzers, I think that could be a good middle-ground (I fancy an Appletiser now too!)

@hornetgirl thank you!

@Onekidnoclue thank you so much. That was very informative and I'll give 'expecting better' a read too. The latter view that you agree with makes perfect sense. It helps me to talk with 'real' people and get 'real' opinions. Thanks again

I am all for personal autonomy, and I am very much pro abortion rights. The difficult thing is that nobody knows what amount of alcohol is safe for developing fetuses at this time. The best medical advice is to abstain from drinking when you are pregnant. I wish I could say that busybodies can just fuck off. I personally would not be able to give up drinking tea, though some people advised that. But too much alcoholand it's unclear when it's too muchis clearly, even visibly, pernicious.

After some consideration I decided to abstain completely from drinking while pregnant. Like you, the evidence I read on light drinking was somewhat conflicting. For myself, I knew that if there were any problems with the pregnancy or my child and I had consumed alcohol I would be left wondering if I was somehow to blame.

I really enjoy a glass of wine and I found it hard at the start and on special occasions. I found it really interesting to see how I felt after a long period of abstinence because I had been a fairly heavy drinker in my twenties.

In ‘Expecting Better’ Ostler explains it’s not just the units but how you consume them. Necking a small glass of wine and feeling tipsy (or sick!) as your body is unable to process all the alcohol at once and so you feel physical symptoms is a very different proposition to sipping that same glass slowly with food, allowing your body to process the alcohol in a measured way.

I just don’t really understand why you would want to?

Just wait. You're only pregnant for a short period of time. You will enjoy many more hot summers with chilled glasses of wine.

Just think, would you offer a sip to your newborn? A fetus is even less developed than a newborn baby. He or she get all their nutrients from you.

I understand that research says it's possibly not a terrible thing to do, but why take any risk when it's just a few months before you can drink again?

@EightWellies thank you for sharing. It's good for myself and others looking to this thread for advice to hear this. Wishing you the best.

@Brieminewine thank you. That's exactly what I was thinking, a couple of glasses spread throughout the whole pregnancy.

@Foundmy thank you. That's great that you have made a firm decision regarding alcohol in your pregnancy. It's so personal isn't it? Elderflower sounds lovely (good idea!) I too agree with the U.K. drinking culture maybe relating to the complete abstinence rule in pregnancy.

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood thank you for sharing and I am glad you are better now. That's the thing isn't it, the guilt? Obviously I am hoping and praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby but that is never a given. Stay well.

@Louise91417 thank you. As you say along with PP it's the possible guilt isn't it? And I agree, I've read so much (good and bad) that the spontaneous enjoyment of a glass of wine has certainly dwindled for me this afternoon.

A small glass of wine with a meal from time to time is fine. No evidence that it will do any harm. It's worth fostering a sensible attitude to risk early on!