Wine whilst pregnant?

[radiomumma]

Hi, long time member but I have name changed because many people (myself included I suppose) see this as a taboo subject.
I am in the beginning of my second trimester with my second child.
I wouldn't consider myself a big drinker but I do appreciate a nice glass of wine on a lovely sunny afternoon!
I have read loads about not drinking in the first trimester as this can be a damaging time for babies development. So far I haven't touched a drop (and didn't in my first pregnancy if that matters)
This afternoon I am really craving a nice cold glass of white wine. I have researched and researched about light drinking in pregnancy but honestly find the results to be 50.50.
I am aware that the official advice is to abstain completely but it is that really necessary? I've seen a lot online about this being a heavy handed approach due to the general lack of trust in pregnant women to do the 'right' thing (but that's another thread altogether!)
Of course I have read about the devastating affects of Fetal Alcohol syndrome but on the flip side of the coin is that many women have enjoyed the odd glass of wine and their babies have been absolutely fine.
So, my question is AIBU to enjoy a glass of wine whilst pregnant? TIA x

I know it gets a bad rep but I found a few non alcoholic white wines that were ok.

I do drink more nights than not but I always totally abstained during pregnancy. It’s a personal choice though.

You know the official advice, however, many friends of mine enjoyed the occasional glass of red throughout their pregnancy and were absolutely fine. One or two will not cause FAS, just be mindful of it. If you are drinking it to enjoy the wine, and not get drunk, many european countries follow this advice. I am sure the blanket ban is to avoid misinterpretation. Speak to your midwife, many will tell you that it is a rule for no alcohol, but very minimal will be fine. My friend was terrified as she was due to be married at 6 month about having a glass of champagne to toast, her midwife told her to just do it and then enjoy the day.

I think it’s completely up to you. With both my pregnancies I drank the occasional glass of wine . Specifically ( spread over 40 weeks) dc1 - 6 glasses of wine 1 beer. Dc2 8 glasses of wine. I don’t feel bad about that at all.

No, I would not drink a drop of alcohol while pregnant. And honestly I don't understand why any other woman would want to even take the risk. Guess I never really felt that much dependancy on alcohol and if I had then I'd seriously consider getting pregnant in the first place. You have done your reading so don't know what you hope to get out of this thread, I imagine you want some pats on the back and a few "go for it!"? Well, there will be a mix of responses and it's up to you what you do but I personally can't see the point

I listened to my body. First three months the thought of booze made me feel sick. Then when I fancied one I'd have a glass of wine. My DH would pour me a large glass and I wouldn't finish it as my body told me when to stop. By the end of th pregnancy I had two small glasses of champagne at my DSis wedding (I was 9 months and baby was fully cooked). Each to their own. My nana was advised to drink a glass of Guinness a day when she was pregnant and had 9(!) healthy children.

The strict laws are (like lockdown) designed for people who can't asses personal risk and need back and white rules IMHO.

I listened to my body.

Don't really understand this approach, if you want wine that's your brain telling you that due to not being able to abstain, not your body

By the end of th pregnancy I had two small glasses of champagne at my DSis wedding (I was 9 months and baby was fully cooked).

So would you let a new born baby drink 2 glasses of champagne? It's nothing to do with being "fully cooked" it's the risk to the baby, and there still is a risk even once at the end of your pregnancy.

I'm not suggesting you shouldn't drink if you want to but don't give the excuses above because they are poor and inaccurate. Just say you couldn't abstain and wanted to drink.

@GreytExpectations would you let a newborn baby eat any salt, at all? What about a can of Fanta?

Anyone would be horrified to see those added to a new baby’s bottle but I doubt anyone would raise an eyebrow at a pregnant woman ingesting these food stuffs

would you let a newborn baby eat any salt, at all? What about a can of Fanta?

That's not comparable at all. Alcohol is absorbed into the blood which is shared with the baby. The effect on the baby is the same as if it had consumed it. Other foods are not processed in the same way.

I found it hard to not think of a glass of wine sometimes, and did research too.... And couldn't convince myself there would be zero risk. So I started drinking some fizzy flavoured water or coke zero if I started thinking of wine. And actually I've got over that desire now, I almost don't want to go back to having any after baby is here as it just becomes a bad habit for me if the bottle is opened, I have a large glass a day, or 2, till its gone! Perhaps find yourself a different type of drink to use as a treat, fizzy flavoured water over ice? I've been having a decaf coffee with a teaspoon of double cream for a bit of an afternoon treat in the garden in the sun!

@Oysterbabe salt is absolutely absorbed into your bloodstream.

No I never have, I just wouldn't have enjoyed it and would have felt uncomfortable. Would you feel comfortable drinking at a pub or restaurant or would you only want it in the garden at home?

I think you just want people to tell you it’s okay to clear your conscience. I think it’ll probably be fine, but if your baby suffers any negative effects from it you’ll never forgive yourself

I have had several healthy babies and the odd glass of wine with all of them. All very healthy, even know they are older. Little every now and then won't hurt. Am 32 weeks pregnant and had half a glass last night with my dinner.

Throughout both pregnancies I had a glass of red wine throughout the week

Not enough to feel the effects ever, just a glass with some dinners

I’m now breastfeeding and will still have wine with dinner

@Lockheart

If you've done all this reading, can't you make your own mind up?

Or do you just want to kick off the inevitable bunfight and nastiness which you should know this post will result in, given that you're a long time member.

What @Lockheart said! S/He is always spot on 👍

[quote Pogmella]@GreytExpectations would you let a newborn baby eat any salt, at all? What about a can of Fanta?

Anyone would be horrified to see those added to a new baby’s bottle but I doubt anyone would raise an eyebrow at a pregnant woman ingesting these food stuffs[/quote]
What a ridiculous comparison. Those things don't have anywhere near the same risk level as drinking alcohol, hence the NHS advice saying the safest thing is abstaining from alcohol while pregnant. Funny enough I don't see anything on the NHS saying to abstain from salt or Fanta

[quote Pogmella]@Oysterbabe salt is absolutely absorbed into your bloodstream.[/quote]
Yes, it is but can you please point out the medical device that says the risks of salt are the same as alcohol?

I knew that in all likelihood a small glass of wine wouldn't have damaged my baby, I just didn't like to think of it making them feel sick or ill inside so I didn't have any. It really shouldn't be hard to abstain - and I really do love alcohol and pub culture when I'm not pregnant.

I did enjoy Eisberg sparkling wine as a substitute. It even induced a surprisingly strong placebo effect the first time I had it.

Is there a non alcoholic wine you could enjoy instead?

Thank you for everyone's honesty, opinions and advice. I would like to reply to everyone like I did upthread but as there are a fair few responses this would take a while.

I didn't end up having a glass of wine this afternoon, Mumsnet took my mind off of it (I
could create a new thread every time I crave wine? Solution? Haha maybe not!)

Thank you to those of you who replied without judgement. It's so difficult to navigate being a pregnant woman! So many do's and donts, no wonder we get confused. It makes me
So happy how 99% of this thread have supported and understood the predicament of their fellow pregnant Mum to be, thanks again for all of your help, it's much appreciated.

@AHF1975 I found your comment very informative, thank you.

@sqirrelfriends thank you, I am a lightweight too! And I absolutely agree, for me a glass of wine would be enjoyed for the taste and not the want to get drunk/tipsy. If anything I would be so very aware of getting tipsy that I would stop straight away if I thought that was happening whilst pregnant.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing thank you, informative link and very interesting to read about the 'good' side of wine for a change.

@NameChange657 thank you. Funnily enough i spoke to my midwife about this last week and I had a similar response as your friend as in my midwife seemed very relaxed about the odd glass in pregnancy, I just assumed she had been asked this question a lot as she seemed so unfazed.

@GreytExpectations that is great that you have such strong resolve but unfortunately we aren't all built to be the same as you. I've explained upthread this is a strong pregnancy craving I am having for wine, in the same way others may crave chocolate or ice in pregnancy. I can assure you that in no way would I plan to have babies if I thought I was on the cusp of alcoholism. Craving a glass of wine and being alcohol dependant are two separate things entirely... but I am sure you are aware of that.

@unchienandalusia thank you. I completely agree with you, I think as humans we have forgotten how to listen to our bodies and be in touch with what we really need. Another PP explained it very well upthread about cravings for wine actually being cravings for or of something in the wine. I also applaud your lockdown comment haha.

@Pogmella You have been very logical and made a lot of sense to me on this thread, thanks again!

@MinnieJackson Interesting questions. I haven't really given any thought to drinking in public but I can understand how that would be an added factor to considering enjoying a tipple in pregnancy. With lockdown I guess it hasn't been a part of my thought process.

@Awkwarddough I think you are right! Maybe subconsciously I was hoping for people to say 'yeah go ahead' to put my mind at ease. Either way this thread has given me a lot to think about and distracted me from a glass of wine this afternoon.

How many women drink before they even know they are pregnant?

@FluffyKittensinabasket

How many women drink before they even know they are pregnant?

The reason they say it's low risk to drink before knowing you are pregnant is because the placenta isn't formed yet therefore is a much less risk than in your 2nd and 3rd trimester.

@GreytExpectations that's not actually true. Alcohol can reach the embryo/fetus at any time. The early embryo relies on 'yolk sac nutrition' and the uterine fluid it is bathed in diffuses across- including nutrients and substances from the mother. The placenta doesn't fully function until late in the first trimester but prior to this the fetus is still exchanging nutrients, waste products etc with the mother. Otherwise folic taken by the mother would not be able to prevent neural tube defects that occur around week 4 of pregnancy.

[quote AHF1975]@GreytExpectations that's not actually true. Alcohol can reach the embryo/fetus at any time. The early embryo relies on 'yolk sac nutrition' and the uterine fluid it is bathed in diffuses across- including nutrients and substances from the mother. The placenta doesn't fully function until late in the first trimester but prior to this the fetus is still exchanging nutrients, waste products etc with the mother. Otherwise folic taken by the mother would not be able to prevent neural tube defects that occur around week 4 of pregnancy. [/quote]
I never said alcohol couldn't still reach the embryo, I said it was less risk which is why you can't compare drinking when you don't know you are pregnant to knowingly drinking after you found out and later in pregnancy. Which it is as that's what medical experts will advise. If you eant to drink throughout your pregnancy that go for it. Personally, I'd rather not take the risk of harming my unborn baby but let's not pretend that it's completly OK to drink when plenty guidance says not to.

Also @AHF1975 the placenta isn't fully formed that early in pregnancy, it's pretty much all over plenty of medical websites that it doesn't fully form until later in 1st trimester so not sure why you are claiming what I said is wrong.