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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wine whilst pregnant?

116 replies

radiomumma · 02/08/2020 12:59

Hi, long time member but I have name changed because many people (myself included I suppose) see this as a taboo subject.
I am in the beginning of my second trimester with my second child.
I wouldn't consider myself a big drinker but I do appreciate a nice glass of wine on a lovely sunny afternoon!
I have read loads about not drinking in the first trimester as this can be a damaging time for babies development. So far I haven't touched a drop (and didn't in my first pregnancy if that matters)
This afternoon I am really craving a nice cold glass of white wine. I have researched and researched about light drinking in pregnancy but honestly find the results to be 50.50.
I am aware that the official advice is to abstain completely but it is that really necessary? I've seen a lot online about this being a heavy handed approach due to the general lack of trust in pregnant women to do the 'right' thing (but that's another thread altogether!)
Of course I have read about the devastating affects of Fetal Alcohol syndrome but on the flip side of the coin is that many women have enjoyed the odd glass of wine and their babies have been absolutely fine.
So, my question is AIBU to enjoy a glass of wine whilst pregnant? TIA x

OP posts:

greytminds · 04/08/2020 21:10

I’d recommend reading Expecting Better, written by a health economist and a really sensible read about policy vs scientific evidence and which handily brings together available evidence on key topics. It’s useful to enable decision making based on your own appetite for risk.

Not everything the health professionals tell you is right either. I had to take progesterone for my current pregnancy and was told in no uncertain terms by a doctor at EPU that I had to stop breastfeeding my two year old immediately if I was to take it. I contacted the Breastfeeding Network’s drug advice line and was told that actually I could carry on feeding and there was no harm to be done. Literally the opposite of the docs advice, and thankfully saved us a lot of heartache.

Also, I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone for drinking small amounts during pregnancy if they wanted tk do so.

KarmaStar · 04/08/2020 22:04

I would not drink.you have a choice.your baby doesnt.it is less than a year op.

fuzzymoon · 04/08/2020 22:22

Would you give a baby wine ?
There's not a lot of difference to giving it to the foetus.

OverTheRainbow88 · 05/08/2020 07:10

@itsaratrap

First page of the thread I said I didn’t drink anything in my pregnancies.

What got me was all the how hard can be be questions... actually for a fair amount of people it is VERY hard. Trust me, I don’t drink because I’ve seen a close family members life be totally destroyed by alcohol and is currently terminally ill from it. So I know for her it would be VERY hard not to drink for 9 months.

So you should be mindful that some women reading this thread ( and the title of the thread would draw those women in to read) may be in a position like that and really super guilty as it is.

No I wouldn’t give a new born alcohol to drink, but then again I would give them a Big Mac either, which I occasionally ate when pregnant

JuniperFather · 05/08/2020 08:15

What is it with wine on Mumsnet?!

Wine seems to have magical properties (and I'm waiting for the inevitable "yes, it actually does!" comments).

It doesn't have any calories at all, so can be invisibly imbibed while on diets.

It doesn't have any adverse health effects, and isn't a "nasty" drink like whiskey or spirits, so opening a bottle and consuming it in a night? Absolutely fine.

I know I'm slightly off topic but I really think the positioning of "the wine" as a sort of safe, friendly, classier option, means it gets amortised in people's lives.. it kind of blends in so that we don't think about it, but act like children if it's taken away or isn't an option.

I know I can't comment on tbis topic without being savaged. However if there was the slightest risk a person could harm something inside them, then why take that risk other than the fact that the wine is everything, and others have risked it and survived it so why can't I?

PablosHoney · 05/08/2020 08:38

I often feel like a glass of wine on a sunny evening, it’s totally a thing ☺️ I wouldn’t think one drink would hurt but I’m not good at stopping at one so personally wouldn’t start 😂 I am laughing at all the people saying you wouldn’t give it to a newborn, ffs.

HookShot · 05/08/2020 09:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

LaurieMarlow · 05/08/2020 09:15

Would you give a baby wine? There's not a lot of difference to giving it to the foetus.

Do people even realise how silly they sound? It’s vastly different.

And you shouldn’t give a baby anything other than milk. That doesn’t mean you have to subside on it.

LaurieMarlow · 05/08/2020 09:17

I know I can't comment on tbis topic without being savaged. However if there was the slightest risk a person could harm something inside them, then why take that risk

Did you get in a car during pregnancy?

That’s far riskier than one glass of wine.

Rebelwithallthecause · 05/08/2020 09:20

@LaurieMarlow

Would you give a baby wine? There's not a lot of difference to giving it to the foetus.

Do people even realise how silly they sound? It’s vastly different.

And you shouldn’t give a baby anything other than milk. That doesn’t mean you have to subside on it.

Yes quite silly

I suppose I had better not eat that tub of Nutella as I wouldn’t feed that to a baby either

LaurieMarlow · 05/08/2020 09:22

I suppose I had better not eat that tub of Nutella as I wouldn’t feed that to a baby either

Ponoka7 · 05/08/2020 09:27

I drank a small amount during my second pregnancy. It wasn't advised to abstain at the time. People don't admit what they drink or the drugs they do, so proper studies are difficult.

@EightWellies, unless the birth mother was in an institution, no one knows the amount that she was drinking. If what you are saying is true, it's a very rare case. I say that as someone who worked in CP and dealt with many addicts.

OP, if you are worried what style of wine do you like? I've been on medication and couldn't drink alcohol and found a alcohol free sainsbury's red that suited me. Tesco used to do a sweet fizzy white and drier styles.

EightWellies · 05/08/2020 10:13

Thanks for the insulting response @Ponoka7 . Strangely enough, I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't known it to be true. Tbf the circumstances that allow me to know that are unusual, but I won't be sharing those on this thread. I have another daughter with different circumstances, so I do understand the point you were making. Having spent every day supporting my daughter and learning as much as I can about FASD to do that, the reality is, if you want no risk of your child's development being affected by alcohol, just don't drink. It really is that simple.

EightWellies · 05/08/2020 10:14

Oh and @Ponoka7 my daughter's birth mother is not an addict, just someone in very difficult circumstances, so sod off from her too.

GwendolineMarysLaces · 05/08/2020 10:52

Aaaaaand here commenceth the bunfight.....

PablosHoney · 05/08/2020 11:30

It’s what ya’ll would have wanted 😂

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