I cannot stand loud people

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

Kind of lighthearted kind of not. I have extreme misophonia.

Door slammers, drawer bangers, high pitched laughs that pierce right through you from your eyeballs to your toes, people who dig their heels into the floor like it's quicksand making the whole room vibrate, crisp crunchers, apple biters, tea slurpers, loud chewers, throat clearers, tutters, booming voices that echo through the walls.

People should come with a remote control... just shut the fuck up! 😫

My dh despairs at least as I do sneeze loudly and tend to crash about if I'm cooking! I have managed to tone it down over the years , but some people are just quiet and I'm not! I'm also clumsy, it's been things to work on over the years and I have to be a bit more mindful of what I'm doing! I was much worse in my teens and 20s!

@EnoughNowStop in all fairness I'm also dyspraxic and people being loud causes me distress (sensory overload rather than misaphonia like op). I'm not a particularly quiet person myself in all fairness. I think the lesson here is that the needs of people with various conditions / disabilities are often mutually exclusive, even within the same condition. For example, an autistic person might need low lighting, but a visually impaired person might need bright lighting. And as for people who are just annoyed by loud people, that's fair enough too. As long as they don't express that to people like your son (directly, not on an Internet forum) or make others feel uncomfortable on purpose, why should they not be annoyed? I'm sure people get frustrated by my clumsiness, but as long as they don't tut or sigh at me I don't care!

I’m a bit torn. On one hand I also hate people who talk excessively loudly; but on the other, I also hate people who wince at the slightest little noise. It just makes me want to throw something.

Maybe everyone should stick to the volume I find acceptable

I'm a loud talking, stomping, drawer slammer, among other noise crimes I'm surely committing.
Because I'm hard of hearing.
It's hard to try to not make noise you can't hear.

People tend to wrongly assume people who are partially deaf are quieter than others, that's not my experience at all!

I'm with you OP. I used to work with someone who used to just open and shut his drawer all day as an annoying habit. And also used to jangle his change in his pocket. Arrrggghh.

I also don't find that excessively loud people are particularly interesting or fun. Usually those who are shouting into their phones in cafes or on trains are crashing bores who want to show how important they are waffling on about boring work stuff and talking in cringeworthy cliches.

It's not hard to do things quietly if you're neurotypical. But it is hard to ignore loud noises or people kicking the back of your chair if you're sensitive to it. But loud people seem to think it's some kind of right that they need to defend and that it makes them more fascinating. It doesn't...

Noisy eaters are the absolute worst. Animals.
I hate door slammers too. Some people just can't move through their world quietly.

Slurpy mouth-smackers should be banished to an island far away.

The rest is fine, though; how often are you finding people slamming drawers and doors? If it's your family, just tell them to pack it in. And if its in shops YABU because shops are shite and you should just avoid them.

YANBU, I struggle with this too. I have always slightly assumed it's related to my tinnitus in some way.

I feel your pain. I'm constantly telling my children to stop shouting at me (they talk overly loud to fight for attention). Doesn't help that my partner has no feet, just concrete table legs. And comes from a loud country!

I'm loud. My voice is just loud, it really carries. I have a stage whisper than could fill the Albert Hall and I simply can't do quiet whispering.
Even when I talk quietly, it still carries.

I think I need to go to a voice coach and be trained in how to talk quietly.

I also have misophonia

I have gone back to the office because WFH when you don't have any spare rooms is a nightmare. To start with I was totally alone - bliss. Then I was joined by one colleague, which was no problem. Since then we have had more and more people arrive and they are so loud.

I do wonder about the mentality of someone who comes into an office where there are 12 people all spread out working quietly and immediately starts to make phone calls in a voice that could broadcast to the next city.

@Enoughnowstop my dd has asd and is always the loudest person in the room or wherever we go. She can't help it. We get lots of stares and many comments. We are used to it now. Funny thing is she is also very noise sensitive and will often have her hands over her ears and tells people to shut up if they are being even slightly loud 😁

blue25
Same. People are just so unnecessarily loud. It’s getting harder and harder to find silence in the world we live in and it’s harmful for many people.

I agree. Many children are unreasonably noisy these days. Children need to be trained to be quiet when it’s appropriate yet more and more often parents let them scream and shout at the top of their voices instead of teaching them there’s a time and a place. Not talking about places designed for children like playgrounds and soft play but shops, doctors surgeries and even in churches and libraries.

@Youbigdosser

You need to get a life. You must be bored if someone eating an apple is inconvenient for you

Are you 8 years old?

I blame the media - almost all TV programmes seem to require shouting now.

Also don't get the need for people shouting into their phones - in some cases you wonder why they need a phone at all.

I fear you would hate me...I am v loud. Loud voice, just loud in general. It's cos I have moderate hearing loss. I dont know how loud I am most of the time to 'normal' people. Conversely, I can't stand quiet people. I can't hear them when they mumble and speak like mice. Just enunciate. If you have something worth saying say it loud; if not dont bother. Horses for courses innit?

@Hingeandbracket are you insane?

This thread is making me paranoid. I'm deaf, o know I can be a bit loud but sometimes it's hard to remember and I don't realise.
Several times when I have entered new work places I have found out that people noticed... But ages after the fact 😳
If it's something changeable and you are able to, please point it out, its not always carelessness!
I absolutely hate the fact I'm avoidably annoying someone and drawing attention to myself at the same time

I live in an area where people shout rather than talk. It grates, daily. Unfortunately this is the accepted norm. I don't need to hear shouted conversations from people standing right next to each other outside when I'm inside my house. I'd happily live alone on an island, can you tell I'm antisocial

Yanbu at all. Loud sneezers are the worst.

When the noisy people are being noisy, it's basically saying "ME, ME, I'M IN THE ROOM, NOTICE MEEEEE"

YAVNBU, OP. @Enoughnowstop - I'm another praxi who can't bear loud noises. I have very sensory reactions! Noise physically "hits me" and I often get palpitations from it- I jump v easily and violently.

That said I'm not entirely blame free . I sneeze loudly- can't sneeze any other way- I've mostly trained myself to mask my dyspraxia but occasionally I can't and noise happens and I'm an impressive farter . I'd say on the whole I'm more sinned against than sinner, though.

Totally 100% agree with you OP!

And WHISTLING should be illegal.

@Wolfgirrl

I like noisy people actually, they're generally more fun and laid back.

What annoys me is the 'meak' people that talk in irritatingly quiet voices, everything they say sounds strained & they act like a gust of wind would blow them away. They never laugh or let their guard down.

The only thing that really bugs me is revving engines at night when DD is sleeping, and people that play music off their phones on buses etc

😂😂😂

I couldn't agree more OP. The people giving you a hard time about this clearly don't understand we don't choose to feel this way, and it makes a lot of everyday life pretty hard to bear. Lucky them.

PP's suggesting it's just an inconvenience or, even more ridiculous, that you are judging children with special needs because of a medical condition that makes it physically painful to hear loud noises are really showing their ignorance.