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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do you know which things are 'tacky/common'?

970 replies

TheHydrangeas · 01/08/2020 19:37

On here I sometimes see certain items, behaviours, homeware, fashion, makeup, etc classed as "tacky" or "common". Sometimes I can understand it, but other times it is things that seem pretty innocuous. Despite this you see this kind of unanimous belief that those things are "common". However I can't really find an underlying pattern to what is deemed to be tacky/common and what is not. Is there any kind of theme or pattern to this? One example is I remember reading a thread where a pretty popular brand of scented candles were classed as tacky.

I also want to say that I am not trying to portray other users negatively as judgemental or anything, we are all entitled to our opinions. I am just interested from a broader point of view - how do certain things become tacky or common?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
mrsBtheparker · 03/08/2020 13:54

Dodgy 'animal ear' filters in selfies

Selfies themselves are common and tacky!

ZaraW · 03/08/2020 13:59

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe

I think anything that shouts look at me be it clothes,cars,home furnishings anything is tacky!Understated is always the way to go.it provides a certain something that screams I am confident and sure in my choices. Someone once said no clue who but it went along the lines of "if everyone can have it I dont want it"!!! If I won the lottery I would never buy a massive mansion that would be tacky but I would buy a beautiful old farm house or cottage and have it designed internally to just show what it is at its best. All subective like anything else I think!!! Brill topic OP
That sounds so dull.
mrsBtheparker · 03/08/2020 13:59

isn't that funny that for you high buns and ponytails are tacky

Years ago when the fashion was to have hair held in a pineapple on the crown of the head wrapped round with a wide band we used to say that there was an inverse correlation between the height of the pineapple and intelligence, we were rarely wrong! It used to be fun to look at the new Year 7s and assess them by their hairstyles, boys and girls, again, it usually worked out.

LioneIRichTea · 03/08/2020 14:05

Years ago when the fashion was to have hair held in a pineapple on the crown of the head

How else are you meant to put your hair up so it’s all out the way? A low bun makes me look matronly and I associate low ponytails with the type of girls who used to bully me in school (severe middle parted low pony and gold creole hoops)

sageandroses · 03/08/2020 14:07

@LioneIRichTea yes the gold hoops! That's exactly the sort of style I was taking about.

The posh horsey girls had the high ponytails when I was at school, not the 'common' ones

Meangallery · 03/08/2020 14:10

@Fressia123

Agree *@Thisismytimetoshine* Cheryl Cole is a chav or a townie. Where I come from she'd be called white trash.
Nothing classy about this post!
Dylaninthemovies1 · 03/08/2020 14:11

@LioneIRichTea I can see those type of girls in my minds eye, and yes, the girl that bullied me had one of those! I’m fairness, it turns out she had a hideous abusive childhood

Thisismytimetoshine · 03/08/2020 14:15

That sounds so dull.
Non tacky is dull?

mrsBtheparker · 03/08/2020 14:17

Is Moet posh?

No, they sell it in Morrisons, where I buy mine when it's on offer.

The U and non-U thing goes back to Nancy Mitford, a member of a well brought up family of sisters, good friends of Adolf Hitler in more than one case. How posh is that then, friends in high places!

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 03/08/2020 14:20

It used to be fun to look at the new Year 7s and assess them by their hairstyles, boys and girls, again, it usually worked out

Please tell me you're not a teacher? If so, this really is the shittiest side of snobbery.

Are you aware that having low expectations of kids can cause them to live up to those expectations?

ZaraW · 03/08/2020 14:20

@Thisismytimetoshine

That sounds so dull. Non tacky is dull?
Yes, having everything understated is dull and boring.
ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 03/08/2020 14:21

I think being loud, judgmental, rude and swearing is common and uncouth.

Oh the irony! 😂

Indeed!

DrCoconut · 03/08/2020 14:22

This thread has reminded me of William Hanson and his comedy etiquette advice. I haven't heard of him in a while.

derxa · 03/08/2020 14:25

This thread has reminded me of William Hanson and his comedy etiquette advice. I haven't heard of him in a while. Grin He's bloody hilarious. The last I caught sight of him was on Jeremy Vine. The pair of them were titting about as usual.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 03/08/2020 14:30

@mrsBtheparker

isn't that funny that for you high buns and ponytails are tacky

Years ago when the fashion was to have hair held in a pineapple on the crown of the head wrapped round with a wide band we used to say that there was an inverse correlation between the height of the pineapple and intelligence, we were rarely wrong! It used to be fun to look at the new Year 7s and assess them by their hairstyles, boys and girls, again, it usually worked out.

I see you are a teacher... Christ that's depressing.

It'd be nice to think that kids weren't all being ranked by social status by their teachers at age 11, but I guess that would be too much to hope for.

mrsBtheparker · 03/08/2020 14:31

You can tell those who were born to money and those that acquired it

It's the same with the wives of Armed Forces officers. Those whose husbands were commissioned at the start of their service don't give a damn, those whose husbands have been commissioned from the ranks are very buttoned up and are always working hard to try and fit in. At the bus stop one group were often in their pj's the others were fully dressed, hair brushed and in one case with full make-up on at 08:15.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 03/08/2020 14:31

And this is why the whole 'tacky' / 'common' thing is not just a bit of fun. Think about how you'd feel about your own child being judged like that. Because you can bet someone^ is judging them, even if your house is tastefully free of velvet curtains and mirrored furniture.

formerbabe · 03/08/2020 14:37

and in one case with full make-up on at 08:15

Is full make up at 8.15 unusual? If I'm out anywhere at that time in the morning, chances are I'll have a full face on

allaglow · 03/08/2020 14:53

Yankee candles were very useful when the dear old dog-in-law came for a week
Not a common Alsatian, I hope

TyroSaysMeow · 03/08/2020 15:01

It's an interesting thread, this one - OP asks how we differentiate between tacky and not tacky and so many of the answers are just lists that don't answer the question.

Personally I don't differentiate, never did get the difference but from looking at the usage, I'd say where we draw the lines is just an indicator of how we view our own position in society. It says more about the speaker's need to be considered part of a particular class than anything else.

If we're doing non-tacky credentials, I think I'm winning on the telly versus bookcase size front because we don't have a telly. Overflowing bookcase number seven sits where one would go. Do I get a prize, and if yes does it get taken away as punishment for my lifelong refusal to pronounce 'nougat' in a shit French accent?

I might not like the look of inspirational wall quotes but I'm not going to judge anyone for having them, lest they judge me for all my maps of fictional worlds. The grey everything trend can bugger off though; it doesn't half make it difficult to orient myself when I've got my glasses off.

L8Bloomer · 03/08/2020 15:04

My parents didn't have money to spare but they had money for what was important to them. Owning their house, education, health, family, emergencies.... music classes
We did wear hand me downs. We did go on holiday in a caravan that didn't even belong to US!

The idea that everybody reacts in a pendulum swing way to their parents' lack of money by going out and spending money on flashy things is not true for most people. I like clothes and makeup more than my mother, it's true. But it's just different times. I haven't reacted to my childhood belt-tightening by feeling the need to own a bag with Balenciaga splashed across the side of it!

derxa · 03/08/2020 15:12

Not a common Alsatian, I hope Grin

Lndnmummy · 03/08/2020 15:20

@ReceptacleForTheRespectable you are my kind of people.

ZaraW · 03/08/2020 15:23

Anybody who judges a child by what they are wearing is a tosser.

MrsMayo · 03/08/2020 15:48

ZaraW

Absolutely.

There are some funny comments on this thread but some people have come across like a bit of a twat.