How do I approach this?

[hatesomethinchangesomethin]

My family love curry. I mean make 2 or so a week, if we go out for drinks it ends up with a takeaway curry. I like curry. I really do. But curry does not like me!

I have really severe Crohn's disease at the moment which will not respond to treatment so I'm starting a biological medication soon and I hope that works. Curry and my Crohns means I'm in a fuck tonne of pain and I'm usually up all night puking and 💩. I don't want to have any more curry, but tonight I was bullied into getting another one I've tried going to a different takeaway for me but I just get told I'm a party pooper (I'm
Not I'm just a pooper) I tried ordering chips with curry as rice is another huge trigger but I got told I'm ruining dinner .

I don't know what to do? Let them
Order their curry and stay out of it ? I'm in so much pain tonight after dinner. Maybe I should stop using vipoo and leave the window closed. That would render the bathroom
Out of action for hours..

“No Can Do. I love curry, I really do, but I’m always in terrible pain and very unwell all night if I eat curry”

Ensure they understand It is non - negotiable from now on.

Let them purchase the curry for themselves and make something yum for yourself.

Make sure that they stay up with you all night as you shit and puke your way through the dawn. No VIPoo, keep the window closed, then be too ill to do the washing, cooking, cleaning or anything else for them.

It's fairly obvious that the food they are ordering and demanding that you eat is hurting you. Get blunt with them. Tell them what can happen if it doesn't go into remission. Tell them about the potential surgical procedures. And tell them to fuck off.

You might be 'ruining dinner' for them. They're pressurising you to ruin your health to make them feel better.

Seriously, would they insist somebody with a peanut allergy ate Thai takeaway because they liked satay sauce? (probably by the sounds of it).

This is your health. And that trumps their feelings, every time.

Why are you spending time with people who don't give a fuck about your health and well-being? That's the question you should be asking yourself.

Mine love Mexican and Indian and I can’t do onion or garlic.
I just end up eating something else.
That’s has been for 10 years now and I get told I don’t like it, no I am allergic.
If you Ended up on the toilet for hours, you learn to avoid stuff.
DH cooking last weekend said ‘recipe calls for 3cloves of garlic, but I will only put in one as you don’t like it’
He seemed very surprised when I said I couldn’t eat the meal if he put the garlic in.

Why does he think I cook everything from scratch?
It is sad they don’t recognise or care about your needs.
Leave them to cater for themselves and you do your own meals.

Start standing up for yourself op! You're the only person who controls what food goes in your mouth unless they're force feeding you.

Say
I can't eat curry so I'm going to get pizza

Stop cooking it for them, they sound ungrateful
Nobody will ever advocate for your rights better than you

Please don’t eat curry because you feel pressured into it. Please stand up for yourself. Get graphic with them about the consequences so they understand.
I’m the same as you in that I can’t eat certain foods, and can’t drink alcohol because it makes me spend the whole night on the toilet. (I might have Crohn’s my sibling has it.)
I’ve been pressured by people so many times to drink and I just can’t do it. People get nasty about it but I don’t give a fuck.

This is bizarre.
Please don't eat anything that makes you ill.
I wouldn't cook it either, but that's your choice. But you definitely need to stop eating curry!

Who the hell is treating you like this? Have you told them how you feel?

Just say no.

Take an alternative to heat up when you're there. Your family sound like dicks.

What the actual? You have Crohn's and your family (your FAMILY) are making you eat triggering foods?

Fuck 'em. Tell them that they're welcome to carry on the party but you'll stick to chips because, unlike them if you eat curry you won't be able to sleep it off overnight, instead you'll be stuck in the bathroom. If they don't like it - again, fuck 'em.

I would be GRAPHIC about what happens to you.
‘I’d love a curry but I just can’t face another night of throwing up and shitting myself’

‘Oh but you’re ruining dinner you party pooper’

‘Do you want me to be violently unwell?’

Then wait Until their food arrives and do RUIN it for them here are some choice phrases ‘it looks exactly the same coming out’, ‘oh god the stomach cramps’, ‘you know that feeling right before you’re going to vom, and you can taste it...it just tastes like this smells’ ideally whilst they’re trying to eat!

‘Oh sorry am I RUINING your dinner’

Your family are Inconsiderate bullies OP, put your foot down.

Chips/nann with curry is much nicer than rice 😀

But seriously- how can they force you to eat curry? Peer pressure that gives you the shits! No thanks.

You are being bullied into eating things that make you ill?
Is this your own family?
In MN parlance, you don't have a curry or a Crohn's issue if that's the case, you have a family issue.

OP stand up for yourself! Like that dreadful 80s ad about withstanding peer pressure about drugs: “just say no”. Crohns is really serious - you HAVE to look after yourself, your family is horribly selfish.

Why are you going out for meals with people who do this? And secondly, why are you so passive that you won't turn round and say 'nope, not having a curry, it flares my chrons disease and makes me extremely ill'. I really don't understand

It runs the meal if you eat something different ! 🤔

They get their curry you grab something else or fill the fridge/ freezer with what you like.

I can't understand why they would expect you to eat something that making you ill ........

tonight I was bullied into getting another one
Who bullied you? You need to become more assertive and not give in to others. It makes you ill fgs.

I've tried going to a different takeaway for me but I just get told I'm a party pooper
So, let whoever it is call you a party pooper. Your health is more important than being manipulated and controlled by others.

That’s very odd behaviour. Most curry places do something non curry based, I don’t comprehend why if you have something different it ruins their meal? When we have a takeaway we all order different dishes. I can’t comprehend a situation where we all had the eat the exact same thing.

Surely they can order curry and you can have something else? Why do you have to have what they're having?

I don't know any Indian takeaway that doesn't do something English too - chips or rice or omelette or something like that. Or something non-spicy but still flavourful.

Or let them order a curry and you order whatever you fancy from somewhere else? Or have something at home?

Tell the idiot/s who said you were a party pooper to grow up. If they really can't enjoy their curry unless you're having it as well, there's something wrong with them.

@spudlike1
You need to start your own thread!
Click on AIBU at the top left of the page.
Then look at the bottom of the AIBU page and click on Start New Thread

I HATE anything spicy. I wish I didn't - but I do.
Many years ago our work Christmas lunch was being organised and they chose to go to an Indian restaurant. I said I didn't like spices [I even hate the smell!!!] so I didn't go that year! I had hoped they would change the venue to accommodate me - but no...

But it's worse for you OP as it's a health issue. You need to be firm.

OP - who is bullying you?

This is really horrible. Is it abuse or a jest (neither of which are acceptable)?

Continually doing this can but your life at risk. Please explain that to them.

have you actually used these words "curry is making me ill"? If yes - you need to cut contact with your family. If no - use them.