How do I approach this?

[hatesomethinchangesomethin]

My family love curry. I mean make 2 or so a week, if we go out for drinks it ends up with a takeaway curry. I like curry. I really do. But curry does not like me!

I have really severe Crohn's disease at the moment which will not respond to treatment so I'm starting a biological medication soon and I hope that works. Curry and my Crohns means I'm in a fuck tonne of pain and I'm usually up all night puking and 💩. I don't want to have any more curry, but tonight I was bullied into getting another one I've tried going to a different takeaway for me but I just get told I'm a party pooper (I'm
Not I'm just a pooper) I tried ordering chips with curry as rice is another huge trigger but I got told I'm ruining dinner .

I don't know what to do? Let them
Order their curry and stay out of it ? I'm in so much pain tonight after dinner. Maybe I should stop using vipoo and leave the window closed. That would render the bathroom
Out of action for hours..

Who are these awful people that would rather see you suffer than eat something different?

Oh jeez, OP I feel so bad for you! I don’t have diagnosed Crohns but am to be tested as have repeated bouts of colitis.

Who is pressuring you? This is a really serious health condition, you should not be forced to eat something which will make you ill & am confused how ordering chips & curry is ruining everyone’s dinner.

Does your partner not see how sick you are after mealtimes ? That’s quite cruel to encourage you to eat foods which make you so unwell. Like having a fun party is more important than your health & wellbeing.

I would stop going out with these people quite frankly. There is no way I could enjoy myself Around people who take exception at my order in a restaurant.

I am angry on behalf of you + your poor bowel

Sorry but your family are as abusive as fuck!!! Forcing you to eat something that’ll make you seriously ill isn’t just them being inconsiderate, it’s outright abusive. If this is your DP or DH I’d be considering leaving.

Don't be bullied into eating food that makes you ill!

Every day on mn there is an insane thread. This is today's. Op, this is all kinds of wrong. The wrongest bit about it is how you've worded it, which implies you genuinely think there's nothing wrong with how you're family are behaving. They are behaving anhorrently. Of course you don't bloody eat something which makes you ill. Of course you don't expect people you love to eat something that makes you ill.

What is this thread? Seriously - how are you not able to just say ‘no - get what you like but I’m not having it’?

Why would you knowingly eat something that is going to make you ill?

You want to be careful - my DCousin ended up in hospital twice for not managing his Crohn’s.

Sorry to say, but this is self-inflicted.

You can't say 'no I don't want curry as it makes me I'll, you go ahead, but I'll get something different'

Unless your family are either evil, hate you, or are just thick twats, they need to lay off.

*ill

As others have said your family are being selfish making you feel bad about not having a curry. Don't they care that you have a serious medical condition and this food is making you ill?
You shouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty about ordering something that suits you or a different meal altogether.

Do they not understand Crohn’s disease at ALL?

If I recall correctly, flare ups of the disease can cause permanent damage - if I am right, they consider their desire to have a curry is more important than your long term health - which is vile.

Since they appear to be uncaring bullies, you need to put your foot down and refuse to have a meal that will make you ill. And tell them that your health matters to you, and their insistence that you have the curry is pure selfishness.

Are you seriously saying that you eat curry to the detriment of your health because otherwise your family (?) complain that you’re ruining the evening?! Even if you order curry and chips?!

Fucking hell. Either there’s some serious exaggeration going on or you’re so downtrodden you can’t see how odd this is.

Who are these people?? Parents and siblings? DH and DC? Either way why in earth do they do this??

'So you want me to be up all night in pain, with the shits and being violently sick so as to not ruin your dinner? Why would you want that??'
'My night will be ruined by feeling very unwell if you guilt me into eating a curry'
Or
'Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you all??'
What a very strange family you have OP.

Children and partner, or mum and dad?
As an adult I eat what I want! Odd set up where someone makes you eat something. Even if you end up at an indian takeaway choose something of the nuggets/ omelette section surely.

Unless someone is forcing this food down your throat, why are you eating it! You don't need to "approach it" just tell them NO because it makes you ill and tell them to stop being so fucking selfish. How hard is that to do?

Do you know your triggers? It’s easier when your know what is safe and what isn’t.

Here might help. www.fedup.com.au/index.php?searchword=Crohns&ordering=newest&searchphrase=all&Itemid=771&option=com_search

But your strength needs to be your own.

To receive Biologic treatment, you have to meet a very strict criteria so that on its own speaks volumes & with this treatment comes risks you would have been made aware of.

I have family like yours and it got to the point where I have to take my own food because they JUST DON’T get it, quite simply because they don’t have to.

I'm afraid you're either going to have to simply say NO to curry, and when your 'family' say ''Oh, you're ruining our meal'' say plainly ''tough shit!!'', smile, then get on with your own meal.

Or............make them all a very ''special'' curry, just for them..................with as much laxatives as humanly possible
and then tell them they are ''ruining'' your evening by running to the loo and complaining about stomach cramps !!

I have crohns , I usually have tandoori chicken and naan bread when I’m in a flare

That’s awful

Which family?

Are you talking dh etc or your parents?

Either way, it’s not on. Don’t eat something that is going to make you unwell

Let them eat as much curry as they want, but get something else for yourself and ignore the comments

Maybe you need to get angry op, along the lines of "Will you fucking STOP bullying me into eating curry? You know bloody well i can't eat it without being in extreme pain so just fucking STOP! I'll eat what I can eat and it won't spoil any meals and is none of your bloody business."

Buy some of those sugar free haribo and when they suffer from the consequences just say “that’s what I feel everytime you make me eat curry”

link for funny comments

It isn't just the short term cramps, etc that you have to worry about. If the biological options don't stop the damage then it would be surgery next. Maybe spell out exactly what having that curry could mean. It isn't just a night of cramps, vomit and shit. It could mean life altering surgery.

They shouldn’t be knobs, but given they clearly are, is there anything the curry house does you can eat? It may not be the tastiest but most have something for the token person in the group who hates anything hot.