Deflated by children after giving them my all

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I have just told both my children that tonight - I’m done. They can just go to bed and turn their own lights off (7.5 and 10, I always tuck them in).

I am just done today. It feels like no matter what I arrange (today.... a picnic, paddling in stream, some computer time, ice cream, pizza in front of a film.... it’s just bickering and bickering.

And if I ask them to do anything - take a plate in to the lounge, have a shower - huffing and puffing. My so even shouting “I WAS GOING TO!!” when I asked him to pick up a bit of pizza he’d dropped on the rug. I got cross at that point and pushed him through the door in to the kitchen, which I feel dreadful about but I’d just had enough. Enough.

They are beautifully polite; they are kind; do very well at school etc but it seems with me, their mother... painS in the arse (divorced. See father 3 weekends a month. Loving dad but ultimately - Disney dad)

Feeling the same sweetheart. Mine are 7, 4 and 4, and I am waiting for school. I only said to my mom today I NEED school to come back. I'm in Ireland. So another 5 weeks to go and nothing definite yet.
I am finding it so hard the last couple of weeks. The bickering.
And ya, they are great. And maybe I only focus on the negatives. But they are so loud, and fighting, and arguing. And I just need a break . We're all a bit burnt out right now pet. It's ok to lose your shit. Come here and vent and see the replies of similar.

Op most of us have days like this, I know I have.

Fingers crossed tomorrow is better

Ps can dad step up and take them for longer? Take some time off and give you a 4 or 5 day stretch? That would do wonders

That's very hard. My two are pretty annoying at times.

I hear you!
Mine are 7 and 9 and LP too and the constantly bicker. One has a cry/whine that is louder than any air raid siren and insists on finding me to share her woes and noise as to what the latest atrocities her brother has committed. I have taken to hiding in my bedroom! Mine are truly ungrateful too...they are going to their dads for 2 weeks soon, I am counting the days and have asked if they want to stay with him longer than 2 weeks and they said 'no' !
Get the frustrations out here, invest in some noise cancelling headphones and tomorrow is another day!

@PlanDeRaccordement

Push= shove= physical assault on other threads. So, YABU to shove your small child into another room.

I think you are over reacting to the OP, please don’t make her feel worse than she already does. These are hard times and the OP is clearly struggling, but, she obviously cares about her children or she wouldn’t be posting on MN.

OP, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. 🌸🌱🌷

My 9yo DD huffed off to bed tonight after she shouted 'I have to do EVERYTHING!' because I asked her to go back outside to fetch the towel she'd used to dry the swing 🙄. Poor love.
It's been a long old slog for everyone. Tomorrow I'm going to the hairdresser - how rude would it be to ask him not to chat at all for the whole 2 hours?

OP, first thing, get rid of the guilt.
Total waste of energy that you don't have.

Your children are getting way too much attention and facilitating from you.

They need a bit of firm Mum and zero tolerance thrown into the pot.

You are dling a truly fantastic job but as @OxenoftheSun rightly said you are not a fulltime entertainer!

Tomorrow is a new day.

You need to dial it down majorly.
They need a little appreciation.

Otherwise you will have spoilt, rude, entitled teens on your hands...not pretty.

Firm up your discipline, dial down your tolerance.
Dial up your expectations, and dial down your acceptance of your son shouting at you.

Do not parent in a fog of guilt at being divorced, desperate to compete with their father.

You really love your children, you are doing your best.

Accept you are doing your best and take a lot less guff from them.

They will be happier, more secure children when they realise you are strong and won't put up with their bullshit.

Seeing you strong and resolute as a parent makes them feel secure.

Disney Dad's do not give children security, they know they are flakey.

Most of us have days when we feel we have had enough.
Forgive yourself and move on.

Are you me? I have taken a week off work and tried to organise a staycation for the dc. Weekend camping followed by days out eg to beach, cycling, national trust etc. Tonight got home after long day at beach and had to cut back overgrown garden because I remembered I had a tip slot tomorrow morning and the next one not for a month. Kids complained dinner was late and only hot dogs!
I am sick and tired of ungrateful kids when I work flat out to provide for them and on days off work flat out to do fun stuff.

Divorce and splitting time between houses will affect behaviour so some of this is to be expected.

You are not unreasonable to find it frustrating though, especially when you are trying your best.

Tomorrow is another day. Keep boundaries firm and things will be ok.

It doesn't hurt for them to know you're a person with feelings and boundaries and limits to what you will and will not put up with. They are old enough to reflect on their behaviour and the impact that has on other people.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Do you reckon our parents in the (insert decade of your choice) ever would have posted something similar?
It's OK to be pissed off with your kids!!!

I think a lot of us have days like this.

The main thing is your kids are basically kind and well intentioned. It'll come together in the long run. And perhaps it's no bad thing for them to be reminded that you are human and you get tired.

I'm on a bit of a mission to get mine helping more over the holidays. They are so good natured by and large, but need a cast iron routine to make it work, and I'm not really up to sticking to that at the moment. You just have to do what you can manage. It doesn't sound to me like you're in danger of breaking them.

Those were lovely fun activities, OP, and I'm sure in normal times you would all have had a great day. But the kids are going frazzled, like we all are as lockdown drags on and on. Everybody's fraying at the edges. You deserve consideration, but unfortunately kids just don't know that.
Have a or and and remember, noting lasts for ever.

mine are older but sound similar. Utter brats at home for me but lovely at school and activities.

I tried going on strike and removing screens but with limited success. All is do is pick up mess all day.

YANBU and don't feel bad. We have all been there. Tomorrows another day and it does get better. Mines a teen now and thinking back to how annoying and rude he was does not make me envy you. Mine would spoil days out with whinging. Had to tell him straight he can't behave like that. Think I told him a million times. Hes better behaved than me now (very rational and understanding where as I tend to go over board). It does get better. Wine helps x

I imagine many parent's will feel they're trapped, it will be like escaping a crazy island once this is over.
I've taken on the role of entertainer too
I need to fix that I'm on autopilot. Strange times 1 more month is my mantra.

I just told my five year old to put one of her summer dresses on any we will go for a walk. She decides to out a thick long sleeve dress on with jeans and school shoes. I told her to go and take the trousers off and choose a summer dress. She comes back down in a dress that's too small from the back of her wardrobe and the trousers and shoes still on. For a third time I tell her to just take the trousers off and shoes and I'll get her a dress. She started crying and told me im horrible. Then we've got to brush her hair. Then I've got to get the toddlers shoes on. Then put suncream on them both. Then leave. I am not a hot mess myself and really can't be bothered going for the 15 minute walk before it gets too hot lol.

Honestly some days are just irritating. Any other time my daughter is able to dress properly.

Now a hot mess myself

Put not out

And not any lol!

Don’t even worry about it ... mine are doing my head in and they are 19 and 23 ! Can’t even send them to bed !

You’re doing a fabulous job, they are lucky kids, and I don’t think being sent to bed without being tucked in will do them any harm at all.

You are not being unreasonable.

You are being tired, stressed, trying to do too much, bringing up those kids on your own (yes, I know their dad takes care of them on three weekends, but you're doing most of it).

You need a break, some you-time. Can you arrange that? Do you have a friend who'd take them for a few days, or a relative, or even your ex.

All I can offer is best wishes - take care.

My son and daughter in law and two kids (7 and 4 - both boys) have been in quarantine in Australia for 15 days - guard on the door 24/7 not allowed out of the hotel room at all. However, they had two rooms with a bathroom each and a balcony and a tiny kitchen so really luxurious if you have to stay put. Brilliantly, my daughter-in-law bought a small tent and it was for 'cooling off times' and 'just want to be alone times'. Grown ups and kids and it was I gather used to great success. No serious loss of actual parental cool at all! Not a bad idea for now too? In the olde worlde UK.

Do you have an Alexa wired up to some speakers? Whenever my kids start bickering, I tell Alexa to put some relaxation music on. It usually works and at the very least keeps me a little bit calmer when everything is getting too much! I also separate them(which they loathe) as it turns out that they seemingly rather enjoy bickering with each other).

Oh yes, and I get Alexa to put on The Mission Impossible Theme tune when I need them to tidy up/complete a task, otherwise it would take them hours and they still wouldn't get it done. Short focussed tidying up/chores before fun.