Would you cut someone off who behaved like this?

[Maoams]

We have lived in our house for 10 years. Our neighbours have lived there for longer. We've always got on well with them, but the woman in particular is very much an 'I say it like it is' person who can be very catty and unpleasant if someone gets on the wrong side of her. Someone that we know was in her year at school and said she was a bully, and she's never changed really. She has always been very vocal about anything we do that she doesn't like, such as she didn't like it when we did an extension 3 years ago, and was very rude and unpleasant about it, despite the fact that they did a very similar extension a couple of years before that.

We've always tried to stay on the right side of her, mainly because it would have caused aggro to fall out. When her children were younger I'd help her out during school holidays when she was at her job (she's always worked from 9 - 12 each day), and would always do things like take in parcels for them and just generally tried to be good neighbours.

Over the past couple of years I have noticed that she has been very cold and offhand with me, as if she'd suddenly decided that she didn't like me. It has been things like ignoring me at times if she is in the front garden and I arrive home if I say 'hello', whilst at other times she comes over to chat, she sometimes blanks me if I see her out anywhere, and one night earlier this summer they had a BBQ that went on very late. I went to let the dog out in our back garden and could hear her and some friends that they had at the BBQ talking about us and saying we were "cunts" plus a load of other stuff such as she can't stand us. She has also said to a friend of mine that she works with that she doesn't believe that my son has a medical condition that he has been diagnosed with.

I decided to be icily polite after that but no more chatting to her or being smiley or helping her out in anyway. In the last couple of weeks, however, we have had a few times where we have had dog shit on our driveway first thing in the morning, that wasn't there before we went to bed, and wasn't done by our dog as she is only let in the back garden after her evening walk. When it happened again a couple of days ago, DH looked on our doorbell camera and it showed her letting her dog on our driveway early in the morning and standing at the end of the driveway whilst the dog shit. And again this morning, dog shit! Checked the camera and the same thing again. Honestly, if we let our dog do that on her driveway she would come and smash our windows!

Would you totally cut off/blank someone who has behaved like this? Like I said, I've always tried to be pleasant for neighbourly reasons but I am thinking Fuck That now!

I think You live next door to my BIL and SIL - excuse my french but they are cunts 🤣🤣

Iv cut off my next door neighbour, shes a single, working parent of two teenagers.
In the past Iv picked her up from the supermarket on my way home from work every night for about 2 years, collected furniture for her in my car, took her kids to the park ( I dont have young DC), picked the youngest daughter up from Brownies every week for a year, taken her late night shopping, run her kids to the local shop, taken the oldest daughter shopping for a swimming costume on my own, she then bought the wrong size so when we got home I had to take her back to change it, iv looked after her house whilst shes been on holiday and fed her pets.
We've lived next door to each other for 20 yrs.
I had a very elderly cat, suffering from heart failure, liver failure, arthritis and who was deaf and partially blind, I explained to NDN that I needed to put a deterrent on the fence to stop her cats and neighourhood cats coming in my garden as my cat was being attacked and was unable to defend itself, her cats were also coming into my house via the cat flap and my cat was being attacked, cue all hell breaking loose, threats from her, vile behaviour towards myself from her DC, bad mouthing me to all the other neighbours, false accusations, snide comments when we're in the garden etc.
I hate drama, dont like confrontation but I stuck up for myself, I remained calm, didnt rise to her threats and eventually she ran out of steam, Shes a big woman with an even bigger mouth, I actually thought she would hit me but I still didnt back down, i think that gave her pause for thought, made her unsure of me, would I fight back?Shes a bully and when she realised I wouldn't be bullied she backed off.
About a year later she tried to reconnect with me but I wont have it, my life is much easier without her crap.
Tbh sometimes its awkward but I grey rock her, you need to try it.
If you cant confront the woman about the dog poo, clean it up and put it out of your mind or chuck it back over her garden when shes not looking
Dont threaten to post the video on fb cos that will probably not end well.
Grey rock her, she'll get bored if you dont respond to her nonsense

Return the shit to her side stealthily at night. Be ready to pop up next time it's about to happen. She's unlikely to let the dog shit right in front of you. Evasive action.
But tbh I'd be ready to front it out because like fuck I'd allow an entitled aggressive bitch to literally shit on my property. Let her escalate after you bring it up calmly. In full view of the recording camera. If she loses her shit (ha) then you have all the evidence you need to press charges. People like this need taking down a peg, but you have the foresight and additional IQ to do it the right way. Give her enough rope.

I would honestly get a garden gate put in and a fence if necessary and keep the gate locked.

Shovel up the shit and put it on her doorstep so they tread on it when they come out.

Do it every time.

@feistyoneyouare

Why are people voting YABU to this?!

That'll be the neighbour.

@Cocolapew

This happened with my neighbour, a woman from another street was bringing her dog down to shit on her driveway, (no idea why). She collected a weeks worth and posted it through the woman's letterbox. Never happened again.

I like her style.

I agree with other posters you need to either suck it up in the knowledge that it will continue or out-psycho the crazy lady.
You don't need to be loud, in fact cold hard steel is what you want.
Collect up the weeks worth of poo, bring it to her door and tell her if it happens again you won't be responsible for your actions. But let her know you will not be bullied. So she might bad mouth you. Big deal, everyone else knows she's like that but are probably also afraid of her.

There’s two sensible schools of thought here. You could Start keeping a record of these incidents, as this is clearly the start of something and then take the footage and record of incidents to the Police. She can be dealt with for harassment. It needs to be a course of conduct though, rather than a one off. That school of thought would say don’t challenge her yourself.

The other way is to challenge her yourself and give her the shit back again and deny all knowledge. I think if you do this things will very quickly escalated and you’ll put yourself in a position where she could report you.

You also need to declare any neighbour disputes if you sell your house.

Why don’t you tell her someone has put dog shit on your drive, you’ve no idea who’s done it, but you’ve put a cameras up around the front, back and side of your house and will get the Police involved if it happens again. Ask her to keep an eye out for you.

I really feel for you. We’ve have horrible neighbours move in and I feel like it’s ruined our peaceful little street.

I don’t think you have been a pushover you avoided confrontation which she wants and hasn’t got so she is pushing it. Leave a note for her that you have footage that is her dog and can she please bag it up next time

I wouldn’t engage with her, take in parcels etc. She wants the drama and confrontation she will still try and bully you regardless of what you do she isn’t nice the less involvement the better

All those friends in her garden that you overheard will be called cunts too by her behind their backs that’s the sort of person she is

She is horrible but don’t get into a game with her of putting the dog crap back in her garden she will love this sort of thing next it will be scratched cars etc

I'd pop round to warn her and other neighbors that someone is letting their dog do its business on drives. Ask what she's been doing to find out who it is. Then tell her you're going to monitor your drive camera and will let her and other neighbours know who it is.

phone the Police... 101...

Is she just mouthy or is she violent?

Some people are all gob, threatening, effing and blinding, trying to intimidate you and they rely on that making you too scared of them attacking you to challenge their bad behaviour.

With those people it can reach a point where you fight fire with fire. I've been in that situation. I was nice, I was polite, I was accomodating, I turned all four cheeks so many times! In the end I snapped and I yelled and I told her her fortune!!

She backed right off. She's still as rough as hell and a total gobshite by all accounts but she didn't come at me again.

That's one option but of course simply withdrawing as far as possible is a good choice.

Then there's the other type who will come at you with fists flying and if she's one of those then it is best to minimise interaction with her and try to remain neutral. Record everything and prepare yourself in case she escalates.

@VettiyaIruken

Is she just mouthy or is she violent?

Some people are all gob, threatening, effing and blinding, trying to intimidate you and they rely on that making you too scared of them attacking you to challenge their bad behaviour.

With those people it can reach a point where you fight fire with fire. I've been in that situation. I was nice, I was polite, I was accomodating, I turned all four cheeks so many times! In the end I snapped and I yelled and I told her her fortune!!

She backed right off. She's still as rough as hell and a total gobshite by all accounts but she didn't come at me again.

That's one option but of course simply withdrawing as far as possible is a good choice.

Then there's the other type who will come at you with fists flying and if she's one of those then it is best to minimise interaction with her and try to remain neutral. Record everything and prepare yourself in case she escalates.

She's mouthy but has been violent too. I've known her to punch another mum at the school once a few years ago. She got away with it, of course.

Personally I wouldn't report dog shit on my driveway to the police but I'd definitely cut her off, act like she doesn't exist anymore. Sounds horrid.

Personally I wouldn't report dog shit on my driveway to the police but I'd definitely cut her off, act like she doesn't exist anymore. Sounds horrid.

BUT... OP already does all that... and NOW she's is having the neighbors dog shit on her drive every morning... so YES she needs to report it to the Police....

Just an idea, but is it not worth going round and just talking to her first? You said in your OP that her attitude towards you changed at some point. You could say you feel like there's been a change, and ask if there's a particular reason why.

Maybe this all springs from a misunderstanding. Not saying that she'll ever be a friend, but she's next door for now, for better or worse. It's surely better to make peace than escalate, if possible.