Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you cut someone off who behaved like this?

92 replies

Maoams · 31/07/2020 18:55

We have lived in our house for 10 years. Our neighbours have lived there for longer. We've always got on well with them, but the woman in particular is very much an 'I say it like it is' person who can be very catty and unpleasant if someone gets on the wrong side of her. Someone that we know was in her year at school and said she was a bully, and she's never changed really. She has always been very vocal about anything we do that she doesn't like, such as she didn't like it when we did an extension 3 years ago, and was very rude and unpleasant about it, despite the fact that they did a very similar extension a couple of years before that.

We've always tried to stay on the right side of her, mainly because it would have caused aggro to fall out. When her children were younger I'd help her out during school holidays when she was at her job (she's always worked from 9 - 12 each day), and would always do things like take in parcels for them and just generally tried to be good neighbours.

Over the past couple of years I have noticed that she has been very cold and offhand with me, as if she'd suddenly decided that she didn't like me. It has been things like ignoring me at times if she is in the front garden and I arrive home if I say 'hello', whilst at other times she comes over to chat, she sometimes blanks me if I see her out anywhere, and one night earlier this summer they had a BBQ that went on very late. I went to let the dog out in our back garden and could hear her and some friends that they had at the BBQ talking about us and saying we were "cunts" plus a load of other stuff such as she can't stand us. She has also said to a friend of mine that she works with that she doesn't believe that my son has a medical condition that he has been diagnosed with.

I decided to be icily polite after that but no more chatting to her or being smiley or helping her out in anyway. In the last couple of weeks, however, we have had a few times where we have had dog shit on our driveway first thing in the morning, that wasn't there before we went to bed, and wasn't done by our dog as she is only let in the back garden after her evening walk. When it happened again a couple of days ago, DH looked on our doorbell camera and it showed her letting her dog on our driveway early in the morning and standing at the end of the driveway whilst the dog shit. And again this morning, dog shit! Checked the camera and the same thing again. Honestly, if we let our dog do that on her driveway she would come and smash our windows!

Would you totally cut off/blank someone who has behaved like this? Like I said, I've always tried to be pleasant for neighbourly reasons but I am thinking Fuck That now!

OP posts:
Lordamighty · 31/07/2020 19:24

Just return the dog poo to her drive, every time it happens.

Cocolapew · 31/07/2020 19:25

This happened with my neighbour, a woman from another street was bringing her dog down to shit on her driveway, (no idea why). She collected a weeks worth and posted it through the woman's letterbox. Never happened again.

Abitouting · 31/07/2020 19:26

Well of course cut her off but what are you going to do about her dog shitting on your drive?!

grissomsbugs · 31/07/2020 19:26

I have a woman like this who lives opposite me.
Nicknamed them the shameless family. Her kids could do no wrong even though they were little shits. Use to gob off at most neighbours and the son even had a physical fight with their elderly neighbour! Use to say hi to her but she just blanks me now for no reason which is not something I'm complaining about!

Caselgarcia · 31/07/2020 19:28

Scoop the poo up, put it on her drive in the middle of the night. Then if she mentions it say 'yes, we've had some on our drive too, there are some e dirty bastards about who don't deserve to own a dog'.

thebigredbutton · 31/07/2020 19:30

@Maoams

She’s expecting you to be scared of her. Don’t be. Report that to the police and put her in her place. Let her rant and rave.

SunshineCake · 31/07/2020 19:32

Cut off or blank herHmm? She won't care. Tell her to stop letting her dog shit on your land.

chrislilleyswig · 31/07/2020 19:32

I think what you have in your favour is that everyone else is decent, so not like she's got her wee posse with her

Return the shit to her doorstep

And if you've got FB, post the video on your own page so others can see her

Brefugee · 31/07/2020 19:39

Bag it up and take it to her.
next time bag it up and take it to her and tell her that it is not to happen again
next time: council & police (101 in the uk? for non-urgent?)
next time: local facebook group (with her face obscured) and write that it's your neighbour

Don't do any favours ever again

OldCow1 · 31/07/2020 19:44

Yikes! If you might want to move house in the next few years, it probably will come up if you have a nuisance neighbour that you've reported to police?

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 31/07/2020 19:45

Be brave & challenge her. Not in an aggressive way... just knock on & ask the direct question “why are you allowing your dog to shit on my drive?”. Surreptitiously record on your phone. If she’s aggressive, walk away but maybe tell her if it doesn’t stop you’ll be reporting antisocial behaviour.

I’m with pp’s - bullies get away with bullying because they never get pulled up on their behaviour. Nasty cow!

TheRealHousewife · 31/07/2020 19:47

She sounds vile @Maoams!

Like you I hate confrontation. My neighbour is a narcissistic passive aggressive smiling assassin! Really unpleasant. Pulled some right stunts. Stopped short of involving the police on 2 occasions.

I’ll not bore you with the details but wanted you to know you’re not on your own 😬

BoomBoomsCousin · 31/07/2020 19:48

Nightmare neighbours are, well, a nightmare. And there's rarely anything constructive you can do. I wouldn't up the ante by cutting her off, though I understand the temptation.

It sounds like she's slowly escalating. I would expect cutting her off to ramp that up rather than slow it down. The agro of trying to get anything official done over the dog shit would be v. high. Since you think her likely to cause criminal damage or assault you in retaliation that would be even more agro, though potentially give you the leverage to have the police do something significant about her behaviour.

So let things sit and hope she moves her hatred on to someone else, follow up on her bad behaviour through official channels (never letting yourself sink to her lows) and hope she escalates enough you can capture something significant on your cameras and get enough to have her dealt with effectively. Or move.

Chocoholic12 · 31/07/2020 19:49

Confront and report! Stupid cow I'm angry for you.

Wattagoose90 · 31/07/2020 19:52

Personally I'd pick up the poop in an untied bag and empty it through her letter box. Alternatively I'd smear it all over her door handle.

Think I'd go door handle, she'd be less likely to realise until her hand is covered in shit.

Tappering · 31/07/2020 20:00

I'd set up a garden sprinkler, just adjacent to where she stands. Then I'd get up early and wait for her to stroll up to my driveway - and when she did, I'd turn the sprinkler on and drench her.

She can hardly complain, as she shouldn't be standing there in the first place letting her dog shit on your property.

wheretonow123 · 31/07/2020 20:03

I think she sounds mentally unstable and that the least confrontational option initially is for you both to go out when this is happening.

Bring a camera take a photo of here there with the dog.

Say that you will report her with both photographic and recorded evidence if it happens again.

Then cut her off and follow up as mentioned if it happens again.

Is she married / have a partner or children?

piefacedClique · 31/07/2020 20:07

Deffo @Tappering..... I was thinking similar!

Pr1mr0se · 31/07/2020 20:08

Yes. Ignore her and get on with your life. You don't need this complication. Keep the footage of the dog if you want to take that further.

OhTheRoses · 31/07/2020 20:10

I'd carry on smiling sweetly and get up to catch the dog at it and dash out and say "gosh, what an embarrassment for you but never mind, here's a bag and do it for her and hand it to her.

I wouldn't start a ruck over it. I'd probably move and when you sell you have to declare disputes with neighbours.

farrah93 · 31/07/2020 20:12

Do not be scared of her. she is expecting that! If she assaults you, you press charges, you call the police, you report her for "beating you up"

shes actively letting her dog shit on your drive and that is bullying.
It's not high school anymore darling, she can get serious consequences for this.

Babyiwantabump · 31/07/2020 20:16

I had similar with my neighbor putting the resident cat shit on my front garden from his .

I rang environmental health and they went round and spoke to him about it and warned him off. I did call 101 too but they weren’t interested and referred me to the council.

Gobbycop · 31/07/2020 20:19

I'd be scooping up the dogshit and launching it at her front door.

Burnthurst187 · 31/07/2020 20:20

My Council fine ppl up to £1,000 if they don't clear up their dog's mess. The footage would be going to them if I was you

She sounds like a horrible tramp, ignore her from now on

RandomMess · 31/07/2020 20:20

Pick shit up on shovel, go around and knock on door

"You left this behind AGAIN this morning" and deposit on door step.

If she has a partner go around when they are in...