To not go on my family holiday?!

[Gruffalomom]

We are due to go to Devon for a week S/C from tomorrow, myself and DH and our two young DC.

Right now I can't think of anything worse 😢. I feel awful saying that but I really can't.

I'm a sahp so lockdown had been easier on me than on those juggling work and children but I'm just so done in 😢.

I'm so sick of scivvying unappreciated for the 3 of them , and the thought of doing that somewhere else plus having to keep them entertained without everything we have at home just fills me dread.

One of my DC has additional needs and is always hard work to keep safe out and about and I'm going to have to watch him every second. He can't cope with restaurants so it'll be all take outs and cooking at the cottage - more work for me.

My tolerance level and patience is on the floor at the moment and I'm already feeling awful at snapping more than usual. I'm trying to get the house tidied and all the packing done before we go (obviously that's been my job too).

How unreasonable would I be to just send them off for holiday without me? 🙈.

I know I'm totally unreasonable, I'm just hoping maybe there is someone else out there that also has these horrible thoughts ??

Er there is still a pandemic going on. Much of the southwest is overcrowded.
Restaurants are closed.
I doubt you can eat out every meal unless you really love fish and chips.
If it was me I would not want to go either.

I've always said holidays are generally hell but worth it for the unexpected lovely moments as nd the memories the kids randomly bring up later (remember when we 'insert thing here you didn't think was significant!'). Go OP, but ask for help, get everyone to pull their weight!

Self catering UK holidays is what M&S ready meals were made for. Yanbu op - I often feel the same way before we go off on our annual fortnight holiday. In some ways it's a bit of a relief we're not going this year!

OMG that doesn't sound like a holiday at all. There is not a hope in hell I'd be cooking, sure you might as well be at home. Does it mean you have to go grocery shopping too or have you food too bring? God... Hate shopping as it is.

Maybe say to your dh he's cooking, or just order in or bbq or mc Donald's even.

Get Hello Fresh or similar delivered? And get your husband to organise this.

I live in Plymouth. Not sure where the pp went to see “Plymouth People” not socially distancing. But my concern is leaving the area; not staying here. It might have escaped the pp that we are a holiday destination - lots of holidaymakers here not socially distancing. Good to see stereotyping and generalisation alive and well here on MN anyway.

I do go on camping/self catering UK holidays but i make it very clear to h this is not a holiday for me and I’m actually working harder than usual. Because of this we go on a ‘kids’ holiday in the summer. Then we go on an all inclusive holiday and take my parents who help out with the kids. Which is still more work for me, but at least I get a couple of hours break a day. Otherwise I just wouldn’t bother. The self catering holidays require hours of planning, shopping, pre cooking, packing etc then hours of unpacking and laundry. Then whilst we’re there it’s multiple meals in an inadequate kitchen where people are moaning at me because it isn’t the same as home etc then washing up/cleaning/tidying/hand washing clothes. I just hate everyone and come home exhausted. But I’ve decided- after our summer camping hols were cancelled this year and I felt a flood of relief - that I’m not doing it any more. Even if we go camping/Eurocamp I’m just going to do very little and see what happens.

I hope you do the same op and have a better holiday.

Even with M&S or Hello Fresh there are still plates to be washed, bins to be emptied, floors to sweep.

A holiday entails someone coming into my room every day, cleaning and sweeping the place, empying bins, leaving fresh towels, fresh sheets regularly.
No cleaning sinks, no disposing of food containers.
I want to eat and walk away.
The only work I want to do on holiday is stir my coffee- which someone else has made for me.

If he is so keen, and says it will be great when you get there, I would agree to go on condition you swap roles.

He can do the prep, packing, cooking when you get there. You do what he normally does. It could very well be the making of him.

Get Hello Fresh or similar delivered?

How is that a break? You still have to chop ( on a tiny chopping board with a blunt knife), wash pots, wash plates, fish bits out of the plughole, clean worktops, sweep floors.

No thanks. I do enough of that the rest of the year.

I live in South Devon and can say that the vast majority of locals are social distancing.

However tourists are arriving in droves (no issue with this in a normal year) and mostly not social distancing, refusing to wear masks and having no control over their children and letting them come way to close to us!

With such responses as "we came on holiday to get away from social distancing".

We definitely want tourists to return but you won't get a warm welcome if you don't follow the rules.

Plus the SC kitchen never has a decent peeler or knife

So true! When we go s/c, I take my peeler and a couple of decent knives from home. For some reason (probably being a complete klutz) I can only use a certain type of peeler.

I get how you feel OP. DP used to have a really long commute and I used to get totally fucked off with doing all the laundry beforehand, most of the packing and organising and then all the fucking laundry when we got back. And we don't even have any kids!

We eat out, get takeaways and have the occasional ready meal when we're away, but I realise the first of these isn't an option for you.

I think you need a couple of days of idleness while you're away, so you get a proper break. Even if it means DP taking the kids somewhere so you can just stay behind and read or have a long soak in the bath or whatever. And he needs to be responsible for all the meals etc at least half the time.

Eat pizza, fresh pasta with preprepared sauce, ready meals like Charlie Bingham, bagged salad, nice cheese ham and bread. Perhaps bacon.

Don’t sweep or clean. Leave beds unmade. Who cares.

This stuff helps.

*Eat pizza, fresh pasta with preprepared sauce, ready meals like Charlie Bingham, bagged salad, nice cheese ham and bread. Perhaps bacon.
*

Involves pots, plates, cutlery, pans, garbage, washing up.

@speakout

Get Hello Fresh or similar delivered?

How is that a break? You still have to chop ( on a tiny chopping board with a blunt knife), wash pots, wash plates, fish bits out of the plughole, clean worktops, sweep floors.

No thanks. I do enough of that the rest of the year.

Easy tiger! It reduces the meal planning and shopping side of things, and means you don’t have to buy/being big tubs/jars of herbs and spices that might get wasted because everything for the recipes is in there. I didn’t say it was a perfect solution.

We've just had a week in a caravan on the coast and I had a meltdown the day before, really didn't want to go etc. So yes it was hard work at times but also so good just to be somewhere else, to not have my usual daily jobs to do (yes I cooked and cleaned but not to the extent I would at home). There was one day I just decided to do my own thing (sewing, reading and going for a walk with just the dog) it really helped and I was able to relax a bit more after that. The weather next week looks good which will help. Good luck xx

Oh my gosh THANK YOU!!

I was giving myself such a hard time for feeling this way, I massively appreciate each and everyone of you who understands!!

I'm feeling a little better now that the packing is mostly done and the kids are asleep. We do of course take things for the kids to do but we can't take everything and my SEN DC has a lot of OT equipment / toys that are very useful day to day and stay in the house.

I feel awful that I've given the impression that DH is unhelpful 🙈. I definately take on the bulk of the housework and kid duties being a sahp, but he is pretty hands on with the kids when he is not working. Although I get frustrated that he isn't as sharp as I am when it comes to our littlest and keeping him away from hazards - it makes it really hard to relax.

I think the PP that mentioned about the thinking is bang on. DH will do something is asked but I really wish sometimes he could just think for himself.

Some fab ideas here on how to survive the week and I intend to use lots of them thank you.

I'm going to put my feet up for an hour with a cuppa and then get an early night and hope it'll all look a bit better in the morning.

Thanks again everyone xx

Hope you have a good break @Gruffalomom. Are you leaving early tomorrow, traffic is very busy down here.

Thank you. Yes planning to head off first thing :)

Looking at Brighton beach today, I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near a beach.

Have a lovely time. Please do take all the short cuts you need and take that time for yourself every day...even if it is just an hour or two. Take the space even on days you don’t feel you are desperate for it. It gets your family into a routine of not having you around and besides a stitch in time... Better to take an hour out when you aren’t desperate than wait until you are climbing the walls.

Good luck!!

@DartmoorWilderness

Yep, South Devon here too.
I'm sick of some holiday makers being so entitled with the mindset of I've been cooped up, this is my holiday I shall do what I like.

Shoving past me in supermarkets, not giving a toss about staff etc.

I'm sure those holiday makers wouldn't like it if their behaviour was replicated in their home towns.

Our local beaches strewn with bottles, used barbecues and used sanitary ware.

Sorry went off on one there.

Op if you do come down to Devon, there are lots of cafes and pubs doing delivery services.
Not many places to eat in, but many places have been allocated extra room on pavements for outdoor seating.
Could be less stressful being in the open air for your family.
Can you bring folding deck chairs, quite handy for grabbing take aways and finding a spot.
The weather was meant to be amazing today but we got sea mists and it clouded over!
I think it's fairly dry for the next week tho.
I live here but have to admit making the effort to go and sit looking at a nice view had been wonderful after being stuck at home.

Traffic will be hideous tomorrow, set off as early as you can.

Hopefully you make down safe.

It's not a holiday.

It's simply packing up your life for a week, moving it somewhere else and living it in utter chaos.

Once you don't expect any different, it's fine

Easy tiger! It reduces the meal planning and shopping side of things, and means you don’t have to buy/being big tubs/jars of herbs and spices that might get wasted because everything for the recipes is in there. I didn’t say it was a perfect solution.

Yes I understand that- I have bought the products several times.
Still mucky stuff to be washed though.
And the " perfect solution" does exist!

Don't self cater.