Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think they shouldn't change guidance that impacts weddings at 12:30 on a Friday

99 replies

ProbablyLate · 31/07/2020 12:51

Just that really. The majority of weddings happen on a Saturday and after all the disruption couples have already had to deal with during covid it seems harsh to change guidance that allows them to have a wedding reception of up to 30 the day before.

I know people get married mid-week but surely it would effect a lot fewer people to change it on a Monday, or at least give a few days notice.

We only decided to go ahead with our ceremony once we knew our 30 friends and family at it could celebrate with us afterwards but now we're faced with having to tell people they can't after all Sad

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 31/07/2020 15:54

I totally agree. They're quite happy to give 2 weeks notice on needing to wear a mask in Primark but they couldn't have done this with more than 24 hours notice? This isn't a crisis lockdown, even a few days notice would have helped because as you said, most wedding will be Fro/Sat

MrsGrindah · 31/07/2020 15:54

Yes it’s a shame , but that’s all it is. With 50;000 dead already I want the Gov to act fast.

chaoticisatroll55 · 31/07/2020 15:55

I'm sure they haven't made the decision lightly. Think how you would feel if 10 people contracted the virus at your wedding and two died?

FattyBoom · 31/07/2020 15:58

@BigChocFrenzy

What this lack of notice means, is that people will be very reluctant to plan anything that costs a lot of money, whether a celebration or a holiday, when it is so abruptly cancelled.

So that scuppers BJ's call for everyone to spend

Its bad enough being affected as a couple but it must be awful to work in the wedding industry at the moment - even though we have rescheduled by 7 months we have cancelled everything we possibly can to minimise our potential losses, which has unfortunately affected all the self employed people and small businesses such as photographers, band, venue decorator, florist etc

If we have to we'll suck up the thousands we have already paid the venue, but we just can't justify paying for all these other services in case we end up having to cancel/change things at short notice.

Stellakent · 31/07/2020 15:59

OP I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't show an ounce of compassion.

The government are damned whatever they do - act slowly and they get criticised, take immediate action and they get criticised. They much think the risk of infection spreading is serious.

I wish you a happy wedding day and a long and happy marriage. I hope you have the chance to have a fabulous party later to celebrate.

SleepingStandingUp · 31/07/2020 16:02

It isn't just the couple's though. It's less than a days notice to the venue's who were probably thrilled to chick a few hours of work at staff who had to be unfurloughed, fresh food brought that can't be kept etc.

FourTeaFallOut · 31/07/2020 16:03

Yeah, I also feel sorry for all the bowling alleys. They'll have just dusted down all the skittles.

SleepingStandingUp · 31/07/2020 16:05

Can people who have been unfurloughed ready for tomorrow be refurloughed? Or will they just have to sack them so they can claim unemployment?

MrsGrindah · 31/07/2020 16:08

No they can be put back on furlough

pussycatinboots · 31/07/2020 16:11

BCF

^Brefugee
Im sorry this has happened to you, however....Boris did tell people that if numbers rise he would act fast and put the breaks on.

since that bumbling twat gave 2 weeks notice of everything else and has otherwise been wishy washy and pathetic in his handling of this crisis, the sudden lockdown - at a time when many many families had arranged EID celebrations, and weddings etc - it seems absolutely out of character for him to be this fast.^

....
Exactly
The lack of notice is completely unexpected
Dom must have goosed BJ or something to make the workshy twat act this quickly

And on a Friday!

Chestnutacorns123 · 31/07/2020 16:36

So sorry. As the numbers will have risen over several days I believe a small amount of notice could be given. For example, the government could say everything is cancelled from 24/48 hours notice unless the numbers/trend changes for the better. This means people could plan and have warning that things may change quickly and make decisions accordingly.

WouldBeGood · 31/07/2020 16:43

YANBU, it’s really horrible and unnecessary in my opinion. Surely they should give proper notice? I’d be really upset too 💐

VictoriaSpongeBob · 31/07/2020 16:44

YANBU the numbers didn't just change overnight. Giving half a days notice is not on. Sad for the couple and the guests as well as leaving no time to find out insurance/ postponement options. Suppliers will lose on stock they will have already bought. Even if people should be prepared for changes half a day isn't fair

SoloMummy · 31/07/2020 16:55

@ProbablyLate

In response to a few PPs, the wedding was planned long before lockdown. We are both religious and so haven't lived together which meant not seeing one another for most of lockdown. We therefore decided that whatever happened we'd get married on the 1st August. A month ago, we were happy to marry with just 5 people there and then have a meal with our parents or something afterwards, all within the guidelines. We decided if guests could only come to the ceremony itself we'd go ahead with fewer, local people to save accommodation / travel costs and problems for the others.

We've been aware that there could be fairly sudden changes in the guidelines, and it's only really been the last week or so we've finalised plans and started to buy things to cater for our guests. I certainly didn't imagine when I woke up this morning and made the vol-au-vents that it would be cancelled at such the last minute!

Unless people are living in one of the areas of a more intense lockdown, their plans (Eid etc) shouldn't really have been effected by this, I don't think the guidelines were set to change for anything but weddings. I suppose it's not so much I would like them to have held of the announcement for Monday, but I wish if it had been on the horizon last Monday or even Wednesday they could have announced it, or hinted at it so we could have prepared.

For all my fellow covid brides, I hope you all have wonderful days, whether they're exactly what you planned or not Flowers

Sadly, I think the writing was on the wall though. Firstly the fco no travel.to Spain and then that's expanded further. The increases in lockdown areas. And the articles that school opening could well be impacted all gave signs of the directions we were heading in. Just sadly, when it's a significant day for us, we choose not to see this.
heartsonacake · 31/07/2020 16:57

YABU. These rules are in place for your safety and everyone was warned that lockdown restrictions would be halted or re-enacted if necessary. This is necessary.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 31/07/2020 16:59

Oh, OP, I'm sorry :(

zigaziga · 31/07/2020 17:08

Oh that’s such a shame, OP. It must feel like a bit of a double whammy... COVID happening and you expecting to have to cancel and then to be allowed a small reception and then last minute not. I know a few people who were supposed to have weddings this year and it does feel so unfair on them.

I don’t think the Govt can do right for doing wrong with this now. They’ve been accused of not acting fast enough before and the weeks long notice for masks was a bit silly. To be perfectly honest, if the government gave us two weeks notice for full lockdown again I know I’d rush out to get my hair done and go to the pub and I suspect I wouldn’t be the only one, so I think it’s probably for the best that big changes happen without notice.

whiplashy · 31/07/2020 17:13

YABU but it’s a real shame for you and others in this situation!

rwalker · 31/07/2020 17:22

I get your disappointment TBH they are dammed f they do and dammed if they don't when it comes to giving notice for things.
The blunt truth of the restrictions that have come into place the no notice is due to EID happening this weekend a massive social celebration they need restrictions or face a massive outbreak .
If they stopped EID but letting everything carry on under normal restriction they would be accused of racism and targeting the asian community

Clearyweary · 31/07/2020 17:34

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but for once I think the government have done the right thing. They have watched the statistics and have acted immediately on seeing rising volumes. They were slated in March for waiting before putting lockdown in place, and now people are slating them for making a quick decision. If they wait, then volumes will rise exponentially and we will be in a full lockdown again. For once I think they’ve done the right thing

MistyIsland · 31/07/2020 17:38

Can’t get married but can sit in a pub! What a load of bullshit from BJ once again!!

Is it just venue weddings? Or church ones as well just seem to bloody short sighted

TheDogsMother · 31/07/2020 17:40

I'm so sorry OP, what a fiasco for you. I hope you manage to make something of the day and best wishes to you both. We've rearranged from May to October so we might well be in the same boat. I think we might need a plan a, b and c just in case.

Brefugee · 31/07/2020 18:43

To be perfectly honest, if the government gave us two weeks notice for full lockdown again I know I’d rush out to get my hair done and go to the pub and I suspect I wouldn’t be the only one, so I think it’s probably for the best that big changes happen without notice.

Yeah. The management of the pandemic relies on people not behaving like knobs. If this is a typical attitude, it's not getting cleared up in the UK for a while.

mornington222 · 31/07/2020 18:47

This government probably celebrate Easter before Christmas knowing how bad their timing is on anything.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page