Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think they shouldn't change guidance that impacts weddings at 12:30 on a Friday

99 replies

ProbablyLate · 31/07/2020 12:51

Just that really. The majority of weddings happen on a Saturday and after all the disruption couples have already had to deal with during covid it seems harsh to change guidance that allows them to have a wedding reception of up to 30 the day before.

I know people get married mid-week but surely it would effect a lot fewer people to change it on a Monday, or at least give a few days notice.

We only decided to go ahead with our ceremony once we knew our 30 friends and family at it could celebrate with us afterwards but now we're faced with having to tell people they can't after all Sad

OP posts:
DaenarysStormborn · 31/07/2020 14:00

I'm also in the same situation - ours is in two weeks. Anyone saying you are being unreasonable needs to give their head a wobble and have some empathy. Having to choose between family members was hard enough to trim it to 30 from 80 but uninviting the night before is awful and just so heartbreaking.

Yes I think restrictions are necessary but obviously it's awful for anyone in this situation. Flowers

Userzzz · 31/07/2020 14:03

YANBU.

LakieLady · 31/07/2020 14:05

I think they're damned if they do and damned if they don't, tbh.

If they gave more notice for some things, people would think "If it's ok for a wedding, it's ok for a christening/21st/barbecue etc" and that would potentially lead to more contacts and more infection.

And, tbh, I blame those who've not been cautious, not complied with distancing etc as much as I blame the government for not doing enough. Maybe if everyone had more willing to observe the rules that were in place, infections wouldn't be on the increase in so many places.

Calabasa · 31/07/2020 14:06

Thing is, they made it quite clear when they laid out the proposed timeline of each stage of easing lockdown, that they wouldn't hesitate to put the brakes on if the infection rate began to rise.

It was guaranteed that the next stage would go ahead tomorrow, and as much as i appreciate that makes it difficult making plans, i can't fault Boris/The Government for taking the step they have.

Calabasa · 31/07/2020 14:07

Unfortunately, those of us have HAVE been following the rules, are suffering for everyone elses stupidity.

Babyboomtastic · 31/07/2020 14:18

Is a rubbish thing that has happened in the middle of a rubbish year, and I'm sad for you. I think acting quick is sadly the responsible thing to do though, so I don't think it was unreasonable.

Keha · 31/07/2020 14:21

I think you are not being unreasonable. The change in quarantine arrangements for Spain was made the night before the busiest day for flying when airline call centres were closed. The decision to restrict household gatherings in the North of England was announced the night before Eid, people will have already travelled and got everything ready. And I think you are right about weddings. I am sure some of these decisions have been on the cards for a few days at least, but the announcements have come at unhelpful times. That's not to say the decisions are wrong but even announcing 24 hours early would give people more chance to change plans etc.

uniglowooljumper · 31/07/2020 14:22

@EdinaMonsoon

I’m sorry to hear that your special day is potentially upset but TBH I think whatever keeps us safe & healthy & that the advice should be given whenever appropriate. The government has been criticised for being vague and not acting expeditiously enough (I agree & am certainly not someone who voted for this shower) but when they do that is criticised too. There will always be something that someone somewhere misses out on.
You're deluded if you think the government is making up these rules to keep people 'safe and healthy'.
OverTheRainbow88 · 31/07/2020 14:23

This doesn’t affect me personally at all but yes I think it’s proper shit and feel for everyone is that situation

AcrossthePond55 · 31/07/2020 14:26

You're absolutely entitled to feel gutted. But in the words of Mr Spock 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'.

There will always be someone, somewhere who is doing something special on a given day. So no matter when a policy is put in place it's going to cause someone upset and disruption.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 31/07/2020 14:26

What a horrible situation. One of my daughter's got married three weeks ago with just the bride and groom and parents for a reception and next week my other daughter is getting married with no reception in case we find ourselves in another lock down and no weddings are allowed at all.

We are finding it hard enough as it is, having your plans cancelled at the last minute must be heartbreaking.

User87471643901065319 · 31/07/2020 14:28

The Govt, can't win whatever they do. They give 2 weeks notice of the need to wear masks in shops, takeaways etc and people moan. They don't give notice of suspending other things and people moan.
We are a nation of bloody moaners and yes, I do get the irony that I am moaning too
Grin

Newdaynewname1 · 31/07/2020 14:29

The problem is, the virus won’t wait till Monday. And getting coronavirus is quite inconvenient. We’ll have to get used to stuff changing last minute.

Brefugee · 31/07/2020 14:30

Im sorry this has happened to you, however....Boris did tell people that if numbers rise he would act fast and put the breaks on.

since that bumbling twat gave 2 weeks notice of everything else and has otherwise been wishy washy and pathetic in his handling of this crisis, the sudden lockdown - at a time when many many families had arranged EID celebrations, and weddings etc - it seems absolutely out of character for him to be this fast.

seesensepeople · 31/07/2020 14:32

I'm sorry. Did I miss an update to the guidance on weddings today? I've googled but can't find anything since 17th July. Please point me to what you are talking about.

Gogogadgetarms · 31/07/2020 14:37

Top story @seesensepeople
www.bbc.co.uk/news

AIBU to think they shouldn't change guidance that impacts weddings at 12:30 on a Friday
Gogogadgetarms · 31/07/2020 14:39

It’s one of several changes.

AIBU to think they shouldn't change guidance that impacts weddings at 12:30 on a Friday
seesensepeople · 31/07/2020 14:40

Thank you @gogogadgetarms

RiverFlowers · 31/07/2020 14:43

It is ridiculous for them to change the rules like that and give people no notice. I would be fuming if I was getting married this weekend.

Bollocks is it to keep people safe - it's a virus that most people don't show symptoms of and has a very high recovery rate - but sure let's all hide away....

Starbuggy · 31/07/2020 14:53

I’m sorry your wedding was disrupted but YABU

The government have acted too slowly before and too many people saw warning of restrictions as an excuse to go out before they came in.

You chose to have a wedding in the middle of a pandemic. You said you waited til it was allowed, so it’s not something that’s been booked in before the pandemic. Just like the people who chose to go on holiday and are now caught out, you made a choice knowing the restrictions could change. The government have been clear that restrictions would be tightened again if cases rose.

Icanflyhigh · 31/07/2020 14:56

Absolutely gutted for you OP, it's heartbreaking and definitely YANBU to be disappointed and devastated.

We postponed our June wedding and I was so upset, and even now I'm not certain it will go ahead how we envisage it next year x

AlternativePerspective · 31/07/2020 14:58

Jesus Christ. No wonder the British are known for being a nation of wingers.

So the government don’t go into lockdown fast enough for some and they complain that we didn’t act quickly enough.

Then they come out of lockdown and people wine that it’s too soon.

Then the figures go up and the government make some local restrictions and postpone some of the re-opening and they’re being ridiculous.

I’m intrigued as to how exactly those wining and complaining would have done this.

It is incredibly unfortunate for anyone who had a wedding booked pre pandemic that it has come to this. Anyone who booked now or during the pandemic I have no sympathy with as there was always a chance it wasn’t going to happen. Same with foreign holidays.

But the numbers are going up everywhere and while certain areas are still low, it doesn’t take much for those figures to go up again. This is why some areas have new restrictions and other national restrictions haven’t been lifted as planned.

And if people had actually done as they were asked we wouldn’t be in this situation. But no, Bournemouth beach calls, and wearing a mask is somehow wrong.

willywillywillywilly · 31/07/2020 15:01

@Brefugee

Im sorry this has happened to you, however....Boris did tell people that if numbers rise he would act fast and put the breaks on.

since that bumbling twat gave 2 weeks notice of everything else and has otherwise been wishy washy and pathetic in his handling of this crisis, the sudden lockdown - at a time when many many families had arranged EID celebrations, and weddings etc - it seems absolutely out of character for him to be this fast.

Well said Angry
PatriciaPerch · 31/07/2020 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoloMummy · 31/07/2020 15:04

@ProbablyLate

Just that really. The majority of weddings happen on a Saturday and after all the disruption couples have already had to deal with during covid it seems harsh to change guidance that allows them to have a wedding reception of up to 30 the day before.

I know people get married mid-week but surely it would effect a lot fewer people to change it on a Monday, or at least give a few days notice.

We only decided to go ahead with our ceremony once we knew our 30 friends and family at it could celebrate with us afterwards but now we're faced with having to tell people they can't after all Sad

Would 930 have been better?

If they'd done this Monday, it may have been overkill and unnecessary. Surely acting when there's a known issue is best?

If someone organises a wedding, holiday, etc in the middle of a pandemic they must realise until it happens it has a huge question mark hanging over the event surely?

It's unfortunate, but necessary.