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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby with pierced ears

170 replies

mrsbeeton999 · 31/07/2020 11:16

School mum friend had baby in April and I’ve just noticed she’s had her ears pierced. Scrolling back through her Facebook they were pierced at beginning of July when piercing was still not open. This is seriously bad isn’t it? I’m a bit judgy about babies with pierced ears anyway so this might be clouding my opinion but having a new babies ears pierced illegally during a pandemic has really annoyed me

OP posts:

DioneTheDiabolist · 31/07/2020 23:51

Better than clip-ons which can be a choking hazard.

marie2020 · 31/07/2020 23:58

Paaaaaaa what are you moaning about mind your own business

marie2020 · 01/08/2020 00:03

you people are funny, baby is fine nothing too dramatic has happened

it seems that some people have nothing else to do but create drama in their lives and discussing baby ear piercing (it's not your job to give your pointless opinions)

MamaGothel · 01/08/2020 00:05

I don't see it as a big deal. I had mine pierced as a baby and I'm happy. Too cowardly to get piercings now, and I like having pierced ears. Also my ears dont close up even if I go years without wearing earrings, which is a bonus

marie2020 · 01/08/2020 00:07

I'm cracking up someone below has written "its child abuse" is it really?! ah you love to overreact don't you

KittyFantastico · 01/08/2020 00:39

It’s child abuse IMHO. What sort of mother would deliberately deform their baby just because they think that it looks cute?

Deformity and child abuse? You must lead a very sheltered life if you believe that removable earrings are a deformity and that a perfectly legal, if not controversial, practice is child abuse.

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 01/08/2020 00:42

I had my ears pierced for my 3rd birthday. A lot of my friends did similar. I didn't realise that we were so chavvy

jessstan2 · 01/08/2020 00:52

@Iloveyoutothefridgeandback

I had my ears pierced for my 3rd birthday. A lot of my friends did similar. I didn't realise that we were so chavvy

It's just not something most parents would do to such young children if it was culturally based.

jessstan2 · 01/08/2020 00:54

I wonder how you can stop a baby fiddling with her ear lobes after having her ears pierced.

KittyFantastico · 01/08/2020 00:56

I had mine done when I was a baby in the 80s. Looking back, there were only one or two girls in my class at school who hadn't had theirs done as infants/young children.

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 01/08/2020 01:12

It's just not something most parents would do to such young children if it was culturally based.

But that's what I'm saying - most of the girls in my school had it done as well. So if you are 4/5 when you start in reception, then they can't have been much older than 3 when they got it done.

You say "most parents" when actually you just mean most parents that you know of, in your own experience. My experience was that a girl getting it done for her 11+, as someone upthread mentioned, is unusually late on. You were certainly the odd one out in my school if you hadn't got it done, even in reception.

This was in England in the late 80s.

Mumtobe193 · 01/08/2020 01:17

As others have pointed out it may just be the case that she knew somebody who was a professional who might have done it for her? It might not have necessarily been done ‘illegally’.

As for my feelings on getting babies ears pierced in general .. I’m not sure where I stand on it? My mum had my ears pierced when I was 6 months old and although I cringe at my christening photos with (yellow gold hoops in my little ears ) I’m quite glad she did it, I was a very needle phobic child and I have awful memories of my parents pinning me down for various vaccinations growing up. I don’t think I would ever have plucked up the courage to have my ears pierced had I not had them done as a baby, which would have been a shame as I love my earrings and jewellery in general. I do kinda get the argument about a young baby not being able to consent and possibly not wanting holes in their ears as an adult, but tbh if I’d have decided as an adult that I didn’t like the look of pierced ears I’d have just not worn earrings. I don’t think 2 tiny holes in my ears would have had a massive negative impact on my life.

Having said that, I would not have had my own DD’s ears pierced back when she was a baby, simply because I personally don’t like how it looks on babies. I think a small pair of studs on a little girl can look quite cute, not a fan of any kind of earring on a baby or toddler, and not a fan of hoops or dangly earrings on anyone under 16. But each to their own.

I don’t have particularly strong feelings on it tbh.

brushandmop · 01/08/2020 01:30

Just because something is cultural doesn't mean it's right. Why doesn't anyone question their culture if it involves inflicting pain and an irrecoverable injury to their (mainly girls) children?

Anordinarymum · 01/08/2020 01:43

I wouldn't and didn't do it but that's just me

I don't have tattoos either and none of my children do but I am seriously considering having a small personal one.

Don't judge others. You never know why anyone does anything do you ?

Pobblebonk · 01/08/2020 01:45

@mylittleyumyum

what do you hope to gain from this?

Since when were people only allowed to post on MN if they have something to gain from it?

Wilko312 · 01/08/2020 02:02

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

Anordinarymum · 01/08/2020 02:04

LOL

mathanxiety · 01/08/2020 04:03

@brushandmop

Just because something is cultural doesn't mean it's right. Why doesn't anyone question their culture if it involves inflicting pain and an irrecoverable injury to their (mainly girls) children?

Everything is 'cultural'.

Everyone has some culture to which they belong.

British culture is as strange and weird and maybe even as distasteful and downright wrong to others as the cultures of others seem to you. Do you examine British culture minutely for issues and challenge whatever you find wrong?

mathanxiety · 01/08/2020 04:08

And holy mother of pearl -

'deformity'?
'child abuse'?

Don't ever visit Mexico or the large swathes of American cities where the scent of grease and corn tortillas fills the air.

howaboutchocolate · 01/08/2020 05:54

Some people would be more horrified at a 10yo boy with pierced ears than a baby girl. It's weird that we've normalised ear piercing for girls but not boys, since both sexes have ears. Girls are just pretty trinkets, and for some people that extends to babies too.

howaboutchocolate · 01/08/2020 05:57

Also why just ears? If it's totally fine to pierce a baby's ears, why isn't it OK to pierce their nose or lip or nipple.

brushandmop · 01/08/2020 07:10

@mathanxiety

Struggling to think of a British cultural norm which involves non consented permanent paining marking of a child.

There are plenty of British cultural habits which others may think are awful - pub culture, hunting with animals etc.

However these are cultural choices made by adults, not children. I do question why a culture deems it appropriate to pierce a child's ears.

mathanxiety · 01/08/2020 07:41

Because it is harmless, among other things.

mathanxiety · 01/08/2020 07:43

I was thinking of the assumption of moral superiority that is such a feature even of post-Imperial British culture.

Original poster

mrsbeeton999 · 01/08/2020 07:46

Sorry only just catching up with all these replies. What am I hoping to gain from this? Obviously nothing but interested to hear if I’m in the majority in finding it horrible and a bit upsetting when obviously there are far worse things going on in the world. One thing I have just done is sign a petition to ban ear piercing in babies so I have achieved that from this thread as it’s made me think about it more.

OP posts:

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