Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Harrassment? What do I do?

60 replies

Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:06

I have name changed for this as it's a very unusual situation so I am guessing it may be identifying.

My young teenage son is a public figure of sorts. Not famous in any way but starting to be known locally. He seems to have attracted a very strange middle age woman to is public page. At first just seemed like a slightly odd follower but now I am pretty concerned.

She is telling people she manages him, she is making up stories about her involvment in his public/tv appearances and has now been on FB live taking credit for something he has done recently. We have never met her or even had contact with her other than via facebook.

There is a whole lot more to the story involving a child protection issue (not just to do with my son) which has been reported to SS but she has also been using my son's name plus the company he is contracted to for her own campaigning (which is something I don't really agree with as it is a load of lies). In addition to this I tagged a place we were at near our house and she turned up the next day (it is a really random place and not near her so it is unlikely to be a coincidence). My other concern is that once lockdown is completely over then due to the public nature of what he does she will know where he is (although we are always with him of course). I can't really say too much more about her as it is probably way too personal but she has some very serious mental health issues and I am concerned she would be dangerous.

I have googled and even if I block her it doesn't block her from the public page so she can see where he is.

I have no idea what to do really and just wondered if anyone has any idea about our legal position here. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:06

Sorry I think i have enabled voting in error

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 30/07/2020 20:09

Have you spoken to SS? Maybe they can advise?

I would also be tempted to put something on the public page that clearly states "X is managed by his Parents, with a contract with Company Y. No other parties are involved in his management or scheduling"...

1Morewineplease · 30/07/2020 20:15

This sounds extremely inappropriate.
Yes, definitely call SS but maybe , also a phone call to your local police station. At the very least, your call will be logged.
Does your son need to have his activities and whereabouts on his FB wall?
Could he have his activities on his private setting?
( I’m sorry, I don’t really understand FB.)

You are right to be concerned.

RedRumTheHorse · 30/07/2020 20:21

She is stalking him.

People of all kinds get stalkers.

Don't interact with her at all.

BlueJava · 30/07/2020 20:22

That sounds concerning but I am not sure what to advise. Do log every incident though with date/what happened just to ensure you keep a record. I think @PatriciaHolm 's idea is good too. Other than that I don't know what to advise.

BananaPop2020 · 30/07/2020 20:25

I recommend you have a look at Websites for The Suzy Lamplugh Trust, and Paladin. Good info on there. This does sound like a job for the Police as well.

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:26

@PatriciaHolm I have literally just done that actually however I know what she is like and she will just remove my comment but not the FB live where she talks about him. SS could only tell me they will pass it to the senior team but nothing else at that point. My main issue when I called them was a CP issue not concerning my son but I did ensure I told them what she has been doing regarding him.

@1Morewineplease He is a performer so is advertised publically unfortunately. Anything private not to do with his work is kept private on FB to friends etc. The public stuff is on a business page. He is a paid singer/musician.

Thanks, I have really been worrying I have overeacted but I am glad others think it is inappropriate. I think I will call the police just to log it, they may not be interested but I guess if she has done this sort of thing before they will want to know.

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:28

Thanks everyone. I have screenshot everything, including messages I have been made aware about from other people where she has talked about him as if she is involved in what he does so I have a lot of evidence about it all.

I will look at those websites also, thanks @BananaPop2020

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:29

Does anyone know if it's possible to completely block someone from a business page? If you ban them they are unable to comment but can still share and see everything. Google is not helping and I am no SM expert!

OP posts:
EnoughAlready2020 · 30/07/2020 20:31

Could you report her profile to FB?

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:33

@EnoughAlready2020 I thought about that but not sure what I would report it as? False infomation?

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 30/07/2020 20:35

[quote Changeofname14]@PatriciaHolm I have literally just done that actually however I know what she is like and she will just remove my comment but not the FB live where she talks about him. SS could only tell me they will pass it to the senior team but nothing else at that point. My main issue when I called them was a CP issue not concerning my son but I did ensure I told them what she has been doing regarding him.

@1Morewineplease He is a performer so is advertised publically unfortunately. Anything private not to do with his work is kept private on FB to friends etc. The public stuff is on a business page. He is a paid singer/musician.

Thanks, I have really been worrying I have overeacted but I am glad others think it is inappropriate. I think I will call the police just to log it, they may not be interested but I guess if she has done this sort of thing before they will want to know.[/quote]
Well done for screenshotting, that will give you ammunition and evidence.
You must all be finding this very worrying.

I would certainly not communicate with her directly but I’d give all of your evidence to the police.
They will take it very seriously as this is probably a safeguarding issue.

Good luck OP.

Ethelfleda · 30/07/2020 20:37

Hi OP
I’m certainly not an expert but have you thought about contacting her directly and asking her to stop? A well worded - non emotive request?
I only say this as if you actually ask her to stop, and then she doesn’t... you have grounds to then make a complaint about her to the police.

I had a stalker some years back and when I contacted the police they advised me to contact him to ask him to leave me alone and that if he didn’t I would be reporting him. Then if he contacted me again I could report him as he is going against a direct request. It’s as though they were trying to say that it technically isn’t stalking until he violates a direct request to not contact me.

Hope that makes sense!

AJGranny · 30/07/2020 20:38

Contact FB. Look into a cease and desist order.

TaighNamGastaOrt · 30/07/2020 20:42

I have a business page and yes you can ban someone from it. Google how to do it as I've forgotten! sorry! If you hover over the comment just to the right of it, you'll see 3 dots. click on that to delete the comment.

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:49

Thanks for all the advice. This is really useful, and yes i am really worried about it all. Its easy right now as he is not working outside the house but obviously things are picking up quickly

I contacted her privately last time she did something similar but she deleted the post and made up some sort of emotional crap that had me backtracking with how firm I was. I am cross as I should have seen through it. I know a lot more about her now so I will try that again.

I will try contacting FB also thanks AJGranny.

The comment is on her public page and not his. She did a FB live on her own campaign page. She doesnt often comment or interact on his page and i think banning her only stops her doing that. She can still share his posts even when banned i think?

OP posts:
2bazookas · 30/07/2020 20:51

You should gather evidence of all her online fantasies and make a formal complaint to the police that a total stranger is online grooming and harassing a minor, and its escalating to stalking him IRL.

 You've never met the person so don't assume they are female just because the nutcase  says so on FB.   Remember that online groomers often lie about their age and sex  to deflect suspicion.
1Morewineplease · 30/07/2020 20:52

I’m just thinking whether a ‘Cease and Desist’ letter from your solicitor might help. ( Assuming you have her address?)

Hopeisnotastrategy · 30/07/2020 20:53

Speak to the police. Keep a diary. I have previously had to take somebody to court for harassment. It is not easy ( but we won). Stay safe and do keep a record of everything, including photos, any messages etc.

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 21:04

Thanks. I have all the evidence saved. She is pretty delusional and has several diagnosed personality disorders. She tells people all these famous contacts she has etc but in reality she has never met any of them. She is definitely female, she has a couple of children who are under a CP order and does lots of FB live posts where she talks about her campaigning. I feel like she is quite manipulative with how she contacts my son/me. I am cross with myself for not realising it sooner as I feel I could have stopped it sooner.

I don't want to be too more specific on here but happy to link to her page in a PM if anyone wants to see what they think and can explain briefly exactly what she's done.

OP posts:
saraclara · 30/07/2020 21:05

@1Morewineplease

I’m just thinking whether a ‘Cease and Desist’ letter from your solicitor might help. ( Assuming you have her address?)
That was what I was going to say. A solicitor's letter might be useful as a start.
Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 21:07

@1Morewineplease I dont have her address but could probably get it. That may be a good idea. She is likely to go on FB live after receiving it. She has in the past had a gagging order for posting on SM stuff during her court case. She was involved in a CP issue a few years back but involving her own family.

OP posts:
GiantPinesAhem · 30/07/2020 21:13

You can report her to Facebook for harassment, I would start there, keep all evidence, involve the police, and I would do a solicitors letter as well.

PatriciaHolm · 30/07/2020 21:13

I actually meant to put something on his own business page to that effect, which she can't delete - anyone interested in him would then see it and realise she had no link to you?

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 21:15

@PatriciaHolm ah I see, yes that could work. I think it is very obvious on his page who he is affiliated with but I will add something extra in his bio.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread