Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Harrassment? What do I do?

60 replies

Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 20:06

I have name changed for this as it's a very unusual situation so I am guessing it may be identifying.

My young teenage son is a public figure of sorts. Not famous in any way but starting to be known locally. He seems to have attracted a very strange middle age woman to is public page. At first just seemed like a slightly odd follower but now I am pretty concerned.

She is telling people she manages him, she is making up stories about her involvment in his public/tv appearances and has now been on FB live taking credit for something he has done recently. We have never met her or even had contact with her other than via facebook.

There is a whole lot more to the story involving a child protection issue (not just to do with my son) which has been reported to SS but she has also been using my son's name plus the company he is contracted to for her own campaigning (which is something I don't really agree with as it is a load of lies). In addition to this I tagged a place we were at near our house and she turned up the next day (it is a really random place and not near her so it is unlikely to be a coincidence). My other concern is that once lockdown is completely over then due to the public nature of what he does she will know where he is (although we are always with him of course). I can't really say too much more about her as it is probably way too personal but she has some very serious mental health issues and I am concerned she would be dangerous.

I have googled and even if I block her it doesn't block her from the public page so she can see where he is.

I have no idea what to do really and just wondered if anyone has any idea about our legal position here. Thanks

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 30/07/2020 21:17

Oh my word, she sounds bonkers... what must her own children be living through?
If you are able to get a ‘Cease and Desist’ then screenshot everything afterwards.
This could count towards Crown Prosecution Service evidence .
Sorry, I’m not sure , but every piece of evidence will count.

Again, I am so sorry that your family is having to endure this .

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 21:21

Thanks @1Morewineplease. Her children are unsafe, I have reported the relevant info regarding their safety to SS, that was the most urgent thing as they are so little, I now need to keep my son safe.

OP posts:
EnoughAlready2020 · 30/07/2020 21:23

@Changeofname14 I'd say she is a predator and is using information from FB to stalk your son.

1Morewineplease · 30/07/2020 21:33

@Changeofname14

Thanks *@1Morewineplease*. Her children are unsafe, I have reported the relevant info regarding their safety to SS, that was the most urgent thing as they are so little, I now need to keep my son safe.
That’s a great move OP... and , to reiterate , screenshot absolutely everything.

I really hope that you get some resolution to this horrendous situation.

EnoughAlready2020 · 30/07/2020 21:34

Just doing a quick google and you can ban someone from a public/business page.

smallbusiness.chron.com/can-block-someone-business-facebook-58121.html

This won't stop her creating new profiles though 😔

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 21:35

Thanks @EnoughAlready2020 at first I thought it was OK as she wasn't inappropriate in a sexual/grooming way but she is using him/his name/projects for her own campaigning. She doesnt seem to realise why I am unhappy. In fact she has responded to my comment asking her not to use his name in her campaigns by saying she doesnt know why I have an issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 21:50

@EnoughAlready2020 would banning her stop her from viewing the business page or just from posting on it?

OP posts:
Crumpets111 · 30/07/2020 21:50

You need to safeguard your son over his performing, so remove him off all Social Media for a start

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 21:57

@Crumpets111 him being on social media is his work. If it came to it obviously we will do that to protect him but why should he potentially lose a career as a musician when she is the one who needs to be dealt with. This is not about fame etc by being on social media, it is purely about building a career for the future as it is not just performing he does within the industry. It is not just videos of him performing for fun, he is booked properly for performances and is on the radio etc.

As I said we would take action with regards to SM if need be but surely that is just ignoring the problem here?

OP posts:
EnoughAlready2020 · 30/07/2020 21:58

Hi OP. I think it will block them seeing the page just like a personal profile. If I were you I would create a normal account and block it from your son's and see if that works. I'm sorry your going through this - there is a boy who is stalking my daughter and he uses multiple profiles. I think he's very unwell too.

makingmammaries · 30/07/2020 22:00

I am sorry to say that not very much happens to stalkers.

A friend of mine was stalked in the 1990s. The woman fraudulently obtained his phone bill and called me and everyone else on it repeatedly. 25 years on and I see she’s still on the loose and still stalking people:

www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/1456078.cyberstalker-caught/

Document as much as possible, disavow any connection publicly, and do what you can to shake her off. The authorities will not do much.

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 22:01

@EnoughAlready2020 thank you. I will try that. Unfortunately I think it is very common these days especially due to social media. We have full control of his accounts of ocurse and I can't even count how many men have DM'd him on IG even though his age is one of the first things on his bio.

OP posts:
Furloughedpissedoff · 30/07/2020 22:03

As already suggested put on his public page "X is managed by his Parents, with a contract with Company Y. No other parties are involved in his management or scheduling"... Only I would put the information on his profile picture, no one can remove that only the account holder.

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 22:04

It is scary @makingmammaries that not much is done. It must be terrifying for those who are stalked in that way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 22:13

@Furloughedpissedoff thanks. I will definitely do that on his profile pic.

OP posts:
Crumpets111 · 30/07/2020 22:17

How old is your DS OP? If he is underage I think the Police should be taking a look at her at least, but like I said safeguarding your son is more important at the moment until she has been dealt with, and the Police SS will tell you the same.

BananaPop2020 · 30/07/2020 22:22

@makingmammaries I am sorry to hear about your experience, but stalking is now taken far more seriously. Stalking Prevention Orders came in this year, for example.

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 22:29

@Crumpets111 he is 14. I do agree that safeguarding him is the most important thing, I am just so angry about her.

OP posts:
THJ8LL · 30/07/2020 22:36

Hi there! I have been going through a stalking and harassment case myself for the last four years, a very serious one which has led to many imprisonment sentences and eventually now a more serious one!
From my experience the police basically told me that I did not have a leg to stand on as at the very start my social media pages where not private and were set to public- as I was basically putting all my information out to the world by choice it's difficult to prove the stalking case. Also if you have not completely blocked this this person in all aspects then you are not showing a level of 'concern' or 'fear' so you will be unable to pursue it further. Sorry if this seems blunt I just want others to be aware of how difficult it can be to start a report at the very start!

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 23:00

@THJ8LL thank you. That's good to know. I can ensure she is blocked from our personal pages easily for sure and ban from the public page. I believe she can still view the business page regardless of all this.

I don't understand the polices stance regarding everything having to be private as for instance if a film star had a public page then surely if they were stalked it would still be a crime? Obv he is not famous of course but it is essentially the same thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 23:03

I am going to try blocking my DH from the business page and see what happens

OP posts:
Aveisenim · 30/07/2020 23:10

It may be worth seeking legal advice from a solicitor about it as well as reporting her to the police etc.

Original poster
Changeofname14 · 30/07/2020 23:31

Thanks Aveisenim. I will do that tomorrow

OP posts:
rosiejaune · 31/07/2020 00:28

@Changeofname14

Does anyone know if it's possible to completely block someone from a business page? If you ban them they are unable to comment but can still share and see everything. Google is not helping and I am no SM expert!
No, because the Page is public, so anyone can see it even if you block them from interacting with it.

Whereas personal profiles are not public by default (though you can change the general privacy settings, and the settings for each post).

It's the same for Groups - a public group cannot stop someone from seeing the posts even if they have blocked them from commenting. But only members can see the content of a private group (similar to friends on a personal profile).

Luckypoppy · 31/07/2020 01:22

Surely you can report this to the police. Especially taking his age into account.