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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL (to be) on show

65 replies

Softcentres · 29/07/2020 15:58

My SIL to be (DB's fiance) is very outgoing and sociable, and in the company of my family at least, I've rarely seen her take anything very seriously.

Having met up with them both recently (me, DP, other DB and his DP, who all share a flat together and try to give each other as much privacy as we can), she hosted wearing the shortest dress I've seen someone wear in real life, and as the night went on, it left nothing to the imagination.

Both my other DB (not her partner) and my DP said later that they were very uncomfortable, but as she fidgeted in her seat, stretched out her legs on the table, jumped up regularly to replenish drinks and had no qualms about bending over right in front of us, nobody said anything right away and it got to the point where it was too late to acknowledge at all, and difficult because she was in her own house.

AIBU to want to avoid going round again, or is there any way of saying something to her or DB that won't cause a row after the event?!

OP posts:
Reachfortheasteroid · 29/07/2020 16:00

HmmBiscuit
4/10

Merryoldgoat · 29/07/2020 16:01

And, in other things that didn’t happen.

Passmethecrisps · 29/07/2020 16:02

What would you say if you could? How would that conversation go? Do your partner and his brother think she was making a pass at them?

Think about what you are claiming was happening here. Woman in own home dresses in a way she obviously felt comfortable with.

GrannyBags · 29/07/2020 16:03

What exactly made them uncomfortable? That you could see her pants?

Stuckforthefourthtime · 29/07/2020 16:04

And, in other things that didn’t happen.

Grin
LaurieFairyCake · 29/07/2020 16:06

Was she wearing the traditional Big knickers ?

Apolloanddaphne · 29/07/2020 16:07

Is she tall? My DD has trouble with dresses being very short as she is tall and she is also a bit ungainly and inelegant at times and forgets when she is wearing a dress so you get a flash of her knickers. I just say 'nice knickers DD' and she laughs and tries to be more decorous. As long as she is wearing knickers OP I am not sure what the issue is.

TitianaTitsling · 29/07/2020 16:08

me, DP, other DB and his DP, who all share a flat together and try to give each other as much privacy as we can what's this to do with what she's wearing?

gonshite · 29/07/2020 16:10

How does this happen? In my world if I was at someone's house & I could see there crotch or pants I would just ask something along the lines "did you mean to flash x?" I assume she was wearing pants?

slipperywhensparticus · 29/07/2020 16:10

If this is true....I once commented on the colour of my sisters knickers she ran home and put a belt on (her jeans kept slipping down but she didn't realise her pants were on show)

Umm also my friend told me i had the moon and stars on display in a short dress "incident"

I've said gosh your brave letting it all hang out to a man on acidental display

SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 29/07/2020 16:11

Newsflash: woman shows pants to relatives by accident.

Nation is scandalised

Softcentres · 29/07/2020 16:26

@Merryoldgoat

I'm confused as to your reply. It certainly did happen. Some others seem to be of the opinion it's a non-event, so I'm not sure how this fits with being impossible...

@LaurieFairyCake

She was wearing knickers, but they weren't big ones.

@SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge

I don't think it could have repeatedly been accidental, it was constant!

@TitianaTitsling

I feel its relevant because even though we share a bathroom, we make a point of being considerate of what we wear in front of each other and wouldn't expose ourselves to the other couple.

@gonshite

I know - I wanted to say something, but when no-one else did and then I hadn't, it seemed like I'd be making too much of a big deal.

@Passmethecrisps

I'm sure she was comfortable, but that's my problem. She acted like it was not a concern, even though it was to the rest of us.

OP posts:
ikus84 · 29/07/2020 16:37

Tell her you can see her fanny, see how that goes.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/07/2020 16:38

It's just pants Confused

Who cares Confused

Scout2016 · 29/07/2020 16:40

I can see why you would feel uncomfortable but I don't think it's reason to not go round again. She was hosting and she's got body confidence, that's good things. Unless you think she was trying to make you feel uncomfortable or was winding you up? Like if she thinks you are prudish and was having fun? More likely she just likes that dress and doesn't care who sees her knickers. I can't see how the possibility she would flash wouldn't have occured to her and surely her partner would mention it? Up to her anyway.

I'm curious about what her hen night and her wedding dress will be like....

Softcentres · 29/07/2020 16:41

It's just pants confused
Who cares confused

We all cared, apart from her. Most people wouldn't expect to arrive to dinner and for anyone to be wearing only pants, so it was strange to see at all.

OP posts:
GrannyBags · 29/07/2020 16:42

A flash of pants is hardly ‘exposing herself’. Maybe she has different ideas about what’s acceptable and what’s not. Maybe she had a bit to drink and didn’t realise. She was in her own home after all.

Softcentres · 29/07/2020 16:42

I'm curious about what her hen night and her wedding dress will be like.... Me too! @Scout2016

OP posts:
OneMoreLight · 29/07/2020 16:42

I thought by the title she was going to be on a TV show 😁

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 29/07/2020 16:44

Everything on this site lately is like bad erotic fiction or the start of a crappy porn film.

Unless you could actually see vag then who cares? Would you feel so uncomfortable with someone wearing a swimsuit or bikini while on holiday? She was dressed comfortably in her own home 🤷‍♀️

AllsortsofAwkward · 29/07/2020 16:44

Why on earth do you all live together. Are you jealous of her such a non event to write about on mn Confused

Capr1 · 29/07/2020 16:51

I also came on to find out what show she was going to be on.

Reachfortheasteroid · 29/07/2020 16:52

Soooo many people trying out their lockdown novels hereGrin

SauvignonBlanketyBlank · 29/07/2020 16:59

Chinny chin chin

Dowermouse · 29/07/2020 17:16

I had a lodger like this, v. annoying, but it certainly weeds out the fatuous entitled boyfriends.