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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL (to be) on show

65 replies

Softcentres · 29/07/2020 15:58

My SIL to be (DB's fiance) is very outgoing and sociable, and in the company of my family at least, I've rarely seen her take anything very seriously.

Having met up with them both recently (me, DP, other DB and his DP, who all share a flat together and try to give each other as much privacy as we can), she hosted wearing the shortest dress I've seen someone wear in real life, and as the night went on, it left nothing to the imagination.

Both my other DB (not her partner) and my DP said later that they were very uncomfortable, but as she fidgeted in her seat, stretched out her legs on the table, jumped up regularly to replenish drinks and had no qualms about bending over right in front of us, nobody said anything right away and it got to the point where it was too late to acknowledge at all, and difficult because she was in her own house.

AIBU to want to avoid going round again, or is there any way of saying something to her or DB that won't cause a row after the event?!

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 29/07/2020 20:07

@Thehop

See, I’d have had a glass of wine and said “mandy I think i just saw your fanny and I’d rather you didn’t get Pete riled up I’m not in the mood, you show off! ”

Or “ooh you look fabulous, been doing those kegels I see” but I know my friends quite well.

You might be my friend... she would definitely say that. And I would definitely laugh and flash a bit more.
BertieBassettsBits · 29/07/2020 20:10

OMG, some of these replies are seriously funny Grin

AnnaSW1 · 29/07/2020 20:24

It's like a gullibility test on here sometimes Grin

Bobbiepin · 29/07/2020 20:26

Men are uncomfortable at having to control their urges, feel it's women's place to wear more rather than them having some self control.

Stop perpetrating this OP Biscuit

lockdownalli · 29/07/2020 20:43

You sound unbearably jealous of this woman OP.

Maybe concentrate on your own life rather than getting so hung up on another woman's hemlines.

OxenoftheSun · 29/07/2020 23:03

You should definitely talk to your brother, OP. After all, he’s in charge of his fiancée’s hem length and underwear. Maybe next time he could pin sheets of newspaper around the offending micro mini, like nuns used to do to underclad tourists at certain Roman churches.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 29/07/2020 23:09

Are you worried your dp or other db won't be able to control themselves around her?

If you think she didn't know and would be embarrassed, then it was shitty not to tell her but maybe ignorance is bliss.
If you think she did know and just didn't care, what exactly will you say to her that will make her care?

SkaterGrrrrl · 29/07/2020 23:34
Hmm
LovingLola · 29/07/2020 23:38

Did you join MN to tell this story?

Cadent · 30/07/2020 00:25

It's all very Lolita-esque.

FizzyGreenWater · 30/07/2020 00:53

What will you call the book?

I like ‘The Night Of The SilMuff’

TitianaTitsling · 30/07/2020 11:08

@Softcentres

It's just pants confused Who cares confused

We all cared, apart from her. Most people wouldn't expect to arrive to dinner and for anyone to be wearing only pants, so it was strange to see at all.

So was she "only wearing pants"? Thought it was just a brief flash?!
OxenoftheSun · 30/07/2020 11:13

I like ‘The Night Of The SilMuff’

The UnSisterhood of the Shamefully Tiny Pants?

Guess What's Coming to Dinner?

phoenixrosehere · 30/07/2020 11:35

Yabu and if you were all as uncomfortable as you said, one of you should have been able to say something.

It’s even more ridiculous that you feel you should talk to her partner about it as if he is going to tell her what to do or stop her. You should have mentioned it in the beginning instead of being quiet if it was that bothersome.

I would have told her privately instead saying nice knickers, where did you get them or something instead of her hosting likely not knowing.

Also, what does her being sociable and outgoing have to do with anything? Are you trying to say she was doing it on purpose? Or that due to your judgement of her that even if you had said something she wouldn’t have taken it serious and continued..?

hellsbellsmelons · 30/07/2020 12:04

Be honest.
If you get invited around again just say 'We will as long as we don't have to see what SIL had for breakfast!'
Job done!

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