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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat biting my little girl

311 replies

Mammaaof · 29/07/2020 13:01

I went out into our garden this morning and my little girl followed me out (enclosed garden no way she can get out) she started playing in her sand pit so I went back into the kitchen and left the door open, I was back and fore to the garden and back inside just pottering around. When I heard a scream, I ran out and my little girl was holding her hand saying the cat bite her, I asked her where the cat was and it was sitting on our garden chair but it was tucked under the table so I didn't see it when I was in the garden.
Now this car is known to be nasty, always hisses and shows its teeth at any neighbors who shoos it out of their gardens. This cat is constantly coming into our garden and sitting on our furniture.
Now I'm assuming my little girl has gone and tried to stroke the cat so not trying to make out she didn't do anything.
But aibu if I went and told the neighbour what had happened? Just to add we don't get along with these neighbours, neither does anyone in the street
Sorry for long post thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammaaof · 01/08/2020 15:45

@uglyface I think that's why the cat isn't allowed inside the house, I've seen she leaves a bowl of milk occasionally on her doorstep I'm assuming that's for the cat

OP posts:
WhoLettheCatOut · 01/08/2020 15:48

I have had cats for years and despite high walls and a massive garden you can't keep them in and aren't expected to. I have regularly defended our own garden from other more territorial cats where mine were too scared and I wouldn't mind others doing the same! As others have said one of those cheap water pistols from Poundland or a loud noise and they will soon get the hint, we have never had a bother after a few days of that. However given you'll be out in the garden loads if you're getting a puppy you might find the cat goes away of its own accord!

Original poster
Mammaaof · 01/08/2020 15:50

@WhoLettheCatOut I hope so just worried incase he attacks our pup as he is so so small obviously we will always be watching when he's a pup but this cat would attack Infront of us I fear x

OP posts:
Notfeelinggreattoday · 01/08/2020 16:02

@pinkspark but most cat owners do let their cats shit in others gardens I am sick of picking it up , why cant they train to use a litterbox at home
I pick up after my dog everytime without fail , the local cats who shit in my gardens owners don't care once their cat is out and cats pooh also carries parasites

Borderstotheleftofme · 01/08/2020 16:03

Tbh, if the poor cat reacts like that to humans I’d be worried about what happens to it when it is eventually let into its home
I’m not sure where this assumption it’s vicious therefore must be abused is coming from.
It might be a rescued feral?
Or even just an arsehole?
We had an arsehole cat years ago, treated with nothing but kindness from a tiny kitten that would randomly go for us.
She used to love sitting at the top of the staircase and going for people about to walk downstairs..

I have had cats for years and despite high walls and a massive garden you can't keep them in
Cat proof fencing.
We have it and it’s cheap to do yourself.

Original poster
Mammaaof · 01/08/2020 16:10

@Borderstotheleftofme they had it as a kitten as it was in the front window a lot when it was small.

Also I can't put the cat proof fencing up as it's their wall that the cat keeps coming over from x

OP posts:
Abitouting · 01/08/2020 16:10

If a dog has bitten a child then the general consensus is to re-home to a child free family or put to sleep.

But if a cat bites a child (which can potentially lead to sepsis as we have discovered on this thread) then that's ok?

This may not be a one-off attack. This cat regularly goes into OP's garden. So it may very well happen again. It's not fair for OP to live a life where she can't comfortably set foot into her own garden without being hissed at or leave her child momentarily unattended.

I'm not sure what your options are though OP but it might be worth speaking with the owner.

Borderstotheleftofme · 01/08/2020 16:12

Also I can't put the cat proof fencing up as it's their wall that the cat keeps coming over from
Can you afford your own fence infront the wall that you could attach it to?
It’s easy to do, basically just wire mesh attached to brackets and angled in.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/08/2020 16:13

[quote Notfeelinggreattoday]@pinkspark but most cat owners do let their cats shit in others gardens I am sick of picking it up , why cant they train to use a litterbox at home
I pick up after my dog everytime without fail , the local cats who shit in my gardens owners don't care once their cat is out and cats pooh also carries parasites[/quote]
I've had to avoid dog shit right outside the front gate, you have to look where you're walking in case you step in anything, people let their mutts crap in the service road at the back of the house. It colours my view of dog owners a bit!

I am a responsible cat owner though, we cat proofed the garden so he can't get out. Admittedly it was more for his safety than the neighbours' gardens but it works both ways. No idea if the neighbours are bothered by the netting as you can see it above the top of the fence but I don't really care.

ellendegeneres · 01/08/2020 16:24

As a cat owner (and lover) I absolutely think yanbu. If a cat did that to my kids I’d lose my shit. Absolutely the owners need telling and it needs pts if it has issues which cause it to randomly strike as you describe.

One of mine will give a warning nip to my youngest if youngest is being too overbearing- never broken the skin, but is always sent away from kids when I realise she needs space. If mine was randomly striking and causing open wounds, they would be kept inside. If it continued, besides having it checked at the vets, I would have it pts because an animal that attacks without provocation or warning is a dangerous animal and I would not allow that around my family

Original poster
Mammaaof · 01/08/2020 16:25

@Borderstotheleftofme does it have to be so far away from their wall if I put my own fence up? I fear the cat will still access our garden as the neighbours have a sort of lean to which their cat often sits on then he comes along they kitchen roof as it's an extension it's a lot lower then it just comes into my path and I can't put a fence up there as it's only 2 foot wide 😓

OP posts:
Mittens030869 · 01/08/2020 16:38

I had a cat that could be aggressive towards my DDs and I ended up rehoming him. It just wasn't the right environment for him as he didn't cope with the other cats in our home and wasn't happy. (There's been no suggestion that he did this to any neighbours thankfully.) I did warn the new owners about this. Thankfully he settled well in his new home, as a single cat and thoroughly pampered.

I think there should be similar rules about aggressive cats as aggressive dogs. If a pet cat is dangerous to neighbours' children then I'm sorry but the cat should go. Some cats are just in the wrong environment for them.

It's not on for owners to take no responsibility if their cat attacks a neighbours' child.

Original poster
Mammaaof · 01/08/2020 16:42

@Mittens030869 yes your right, I'm not blaming the cat I think it's definitely its owners in this situation, I don't think it's been shown any love or attention and just shoved outside as it seems to be too much hassle for them. But the responsible thing to do is like yourself and re-home to a home where the cat will be happy xx

OP posts:
Mittens030869 · 01/08/2020 16:51

That's right. I didn't really have a choice, because it wasn't just about my DDs but their friends who visited. I couldn't risk a friend of theirs suffering a serious biting injury.

It worked out for the best for the cat as well. The new owners update me sometimes and he's as happy as anything. Smile

Original poster
Mammaaof · 01/08/2020 16:52

@Mittens030869 oh that's so lovely! Well done for being a responsible cat owner also x

OP posts:
WhoLettheCatOut · 01/08/2020 16:57

@Mammaaof I hope so too, you'll have to keep us posted but I reckon once the cat realises you are out there a lot more and there's a loud puppy that she'll go away. Honestly though I tend to find that even agro cats will avoid confrontation with people if they're going to get wet, let's hope this is the same. I do feel for that poor cat though that's clearly not had any human training, my current cat is not a people person either but you'd never see her biting one of the kids even when they are giving her an unwelcome stroke. My only "tip" to a non cat owner is that it's not the end of the world for your daughter to learn not to stroke random cats. We've always had cats but I don't let mine stroke other cats because you just never know what they will do. Hope she's feeling better and hasn't been too scared by the experience.

MissMaple82 · 01/08/2020 16:57

Unreasonable to go over there, it will just to cause more friction. Cats are free to roam, there's nothing that can be done. Teach your child not to go near cats or dogs they don't know id the only thing you can do

MissMaple82 · 01/08/2020 17:01

You can't control a cat! Nor do you keep a cat confined! I suggest a water bottle to squirt at it, it will eventually avoid you

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/08/2020 17:06

I think there should be similar rules about aggressive cats as aggressive dogs. If a pet cat is dangerous to neighbours' children then I'm sorry but the cat should go. Some cats are just in the wrong environment for them.

Tricky one. What if the cat is provoked (I'm not suggesting OP's daughter provoked the cat in this case)?

A young child I knew loved cats but also used to pull their ears or tails. When he visited us, my cat used to stay out the way but I did tell him that if he pulled the cat's ears or tail there was a very good chance the cat would bite (100% chance actually) which would hurt and it would be his own fault. He obviously listened as he never touched the cat, he stood at a distance and spoke to him. When he was older he was very gentle with him.

If he had tormented the cat and he bit, why should the cat be PTS?

Mittens030869 · 01/08/2020 17:08

@Mammaaof Thank you. I felt awful about it, as I'd had him from a kitten. He'd been a kitten abandoned by the mother along with the rest of the litter, and cats like this do have behavioural issues sometimes.

I do agree that confining a cat that has been roaming free would be cruel. It just won't cope.

Jenasaurus · 01/08/2020 17:09

So sorry your DD had that experience, I do wonder if the cat is in pain and if the owner is aware it is terrorising the neighbourhood should take steps to make their own garden cat secure. My DM had a cat who was scared of a large bengal that used to come into my DMs garden and yowl and hiss at him through the patio window.

If Wolfie was in the garden when the other cat appeared he would rush inside and meow at my DM, she would come outside and clap and walk around the garden chasing off the offending cat. Wolfie followed her in gratitude knowing he could safely be in the garden and get my DM to sort out the other cat. Weirdly we found the owner of the other cat at our bridge club, she said he was known for being aggressive to other cats and apologised. However much my mum didnt want him in the garden scaring Wolfie, she joined in the search when the other cat went missing (he was found)

Mittens030869 · 01/08/2020 17:12

No, I'm not suggesting it should be PTS. My cat was successfully rehomed, and this really can work. If not, I've also found that changes in the home can help. Maybe the cat can be kept in at key hours when it's being aggressive.

Felliway plug-in can help too.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/08/2020 17:12

So sorry your DD had that experience, I do wonder if the cat is in pain and if the owner is aware it is terrorising the neighbourhood should take steps to make their own garden cat secure.

I wondered if it could be in pain. If my cat started biting randomly the first thing I'd do is take him to the vet.

Jenasaurus · 01/08/2020 17:13

Be careful with the sandpit as well, as others have said the cat may be using it as a litter tray, I picked up worms from our sandpit as a child.

Mittens030869 · 01/08/2020 17:13

I'm just saying that a dismissive answer of 'I can't do anything about it' isn't right at all.