AIBU...cant stop thinking about this man.

[MyNameIsIKEA]

I just cant stop thinking about this man. I've never really ever seen anyone thats made me feel this way based on looks.

So a few week ago had some stuff removed from the garden. OH left some stuff in the front that the guy was loading into his van, while I was in the back garden sorting other bits. When the guy finished he walked through to the back garden and that's when i first saw him.

The most breathtakingly handsome man i have ever seen, i had to actually take a deep breath, totally blew me away. He was tall, naturally athletic build, the most gorgeous olive skin, brown eyes, soft short light brown curls on his head, i noticed his hair was thinning a bit on the back but it really didnt matter just showed maturity.
He was a cross between a maori rugby player and a love island contestant. I was tempted to say something as he was wasted doing what he was doing. He was wearing a plain black tshirt with black trousers and work boots but looked amazing. He walked passed me and I felt so shy, he looked at me and acknowledged me and said hi, i said hi back, i was absolutely mezmerised Everytime he walked past he would leave a trail of his aftershave and his smell, i loved it. It was raining heavily and it was mucky work but he just looked even better with rain dripping off him and mud all over his top (not in a pervy way, just looked so effortlessly beautiful). I made small talk by saying sorry for not being much use, he smiled and replied i was useful. When he finished i asked if he wanted a coffee and he said yes. He started making small talk asking where im from and it turned out we were from the same area and he lived not too far from where i grew up. I didnt want him to leave.

OH paid him and he shook his hand, the guy waited for me, waved and said bye. OH told me to save his number on my phone for future work. I now find myself looking at his whatsapp dp quite often.

AIBU feeling like this?
Have you ever experienced something similar?

Im not pervy or the desperate housewives type. I cant quite understand why i just cant stop thinking about him. The first 2 days were non stop nut it been 2 weeks and i still find myself thinķing of him.

He was a cross between a maori rugby player and a love island contestant. I was tempted to say something as he was wasted doing what he was doing

Very judgmental, maybe he's happy doing what he's doing ? I'm sure he'd love knowing you are judging his life choices or work solely based on his appearance. BTW Maoris don't tend to describe themselves as having olive skin.

I walked past someone in a supermarket one and just happen to lock eyes - o couldn't even tell you much of what they look like but it was like a lightening bolt. I still think oh him 5 years later. Chemicals/hormones do funny things to us.

You are asking if you are being unreasonable... well how would you feel if it was your OH writing this on dadsnet...

I've experienced something similar, here's what to do for your own peace of mind:

1. remove his number from your phone so you can't look at his WhatsApp image anymore - there are plenty of handymen/gardeners etc out there so find another one when needed in the future

2. try and find something (anything!) sexy about your husband again and focus on that

3. every time this fella pops into your head think of something else immediately and get rid of this image of him, think of him with rank, stinky rotting feet or something similar

4. remember, this is all in your imagination, it's not reciprocated, it's just lust and it will pass eventually

I would say while this is clearly a fantasy, it deep down indicates you are not forfillled with your DP. That will take over one day I guarantee it.
In my first marriage I would never have cheated but always used to fantasise about what might have been every time another man showed interest.
Now I'm older, fatter, in a different marriage and hand on heart, while I can appreciate a good looking man, I never think 'what if?'

Reading this made me feel all grubby. You need to grow up.

I don't see the harm in appreciating an attractive man or letting your mind wander into a bit of fantasy. As long as it's within reason and doesn't start to affect your real life.

People saying you need to grow up? You can't help having an attraction to someone, you are a human being.

If you love your OH and are satisfied with your life don't trade it for lust.

If you don't and aren't maybe it's time for you to think about what you want going forward ? But as others have said usually crushes die away after a few weeks

Was that an attempt at a Barbra Cartland novel.

This happened to me when I met my partner at the times best friend. (3years into that relationship) It was awful every time I saw him it came back. Left that person 11months later his now ex best friend and I got together. I still feel that way 5 years on.

Disclaimer there was a lot wrong in my relationship (drugs him, alcohol abuse him). If I had a positive foundation I’d do above advice delete, block focus on husband.

He was a cross between a maori rugby player and a love island contestant.

I have experienced this. It was on a london bus years ago. I had never (like you) felt completely stunned by just setting eyes on someone. It was honestly a weird feeling. He was totally perfect, just devastatingly good looking, but that wasn't "it", there was something else! So I know where you're coming from! Just enjoy it in the moment, I say.

It doesn't remotely suggest she is unhappy with her DH ffs! We don't go blind and dead from the waist down when we marry. However, OP your post reads like a bad attempt at 50 shades and is cringy. Please read it back imagining someone else has written it. As a pp said, do not use this company again, delete details. Move past.

Enjoy the fantasy, but keep it as a fantasy.

Probably everyone he meets fancies him rather than he’s your destiny.

It’s weird that your first thought was that he was wasted doing what he’s doing! Like he should be on a telenovela in a cape.

Felt a bit like I was reading a Mills and Boons.

This is the way stalkers talk.

You need to delete his number and focus on your marriage, you're in dangerous territory here

You’re married, you’re not dead! Just be happy that you still have the ability to appreciate a good looking man and self control. Internalise it and it’ll soon pass.

Imagine if this post was written by a man...

OP, you say you were mesmerised but not pervy but it does come across pervy. Its not nice and its not respectful to your OH - nip it in the bud, delete his number and focus on your OH. Time to grow up.

I was on holiday in Spain last year, in a really remote village up in the hills. I was wandering about the village full of old people and cats with DH and 3 DC when we passed a garden and I’m not joking when I say suddenly I was unexpectedly faced with a topless and absolutely gorgeous young gardener in a tiny pair of shorts whacking away at something with a spade. Proper Diet Coke stuff! I thought I did a triumphant job of pretending not to notice but the chorus of “Oh mum, for goodness sake, come on!” tells me otherwise.

Dangerous territory. Remove number and focus on what’s going on in your marriage. Are you fulfilled and happy?

The hormones and chemical of an attraction can feel all consuming but remember they are unlikely to reflect reality. There is one man that can melt me every single time. Ultimately though he’d never give me what I need in a relationship.

This sounds a bit stalkerish, it would make a good book at least!
It’s natural to be attracted to someone good looking, but don’t obsess over him. You’re in a relationship and you don’t know a thing about this man. Put it behind you before you hurt yourself or dp.

Yabvvvu!

If it helps. He's probably got a girlfriend/boyfriend/string of admirers.
He may be a total dickhead.
IME really good looking men tend to be shit in bed. (Obvs not ALL of them )
This one's not for you. It's not as if he's been in touch is it?
He's already forgotten you. Sorry.