AIBU...cant stop thinking about this man.

[MyNameIsIKEA]

I just cant stop thinking about this man. I've never really ever seen anyone thats made me feel this way based on looks.

So a few week ago had some stuff removed from the garden. OH left some stuff in the front that the guy was loading into his van, while I was in the back garden sorting other bits. When the guy finished he walked through to the back garden and that's when i first saw him.

The most breathtakingly handsome man i have ever seen, i had to actually take a deep breath, totally blew me away. He was tall, naturally athletic build, the most gorgeous olive skin, brown eyes, soft short light brown curls on his head, i noticed his hair was thinning a bit on the back but it really didnt matter just showed maturity.
He was a cross between a maori rugby player and a love island contestant. I was tempted to say something as he was wasted doing what he was doing. He was wearing a plain black tshirt with black trousers and work boots but looked amazing. He walked passed me and I felt so shy, he looked at me and acknowledged me and said hi, i said hi back, i was absolutely mezmerised Everytime he walked past he would leave a trail of his aftershave and his smell, i loved it. It was raining heavily and it was mucky work but he just looked even better with rain dripping off him and mud all over his top (not in a pervy way, just looked so effortlessly beautiful). I made small talk by saying sorry for not being much use, he smiled and replied i was useful. When he finished i asked if he wanted a coffee and he said yes. He started making small talk asking where im from and it turned out we were from the same area and he lived not too far from where i grew up. I didnt want him to leave.

OH paid him and he shook his hand, the guy waited for me, waved and said bye. OH told me to save his number on my phone for future work. I now find myself looking at his whatsapp dp quite often.

AIBU feeling like this?
Have you ever experienced something similar?

Im not pervy or the desperate housewives type. I cant quite understand why i just cant stop thinking about him. The first 2 days were non stop nut it been 2 weeks and i still find myself thinķing of him.

I think you've had some harsh replies here, op.

You can't help being attracted to him. Most people find themselves attracted to other people whilst married or in a relationship, at some point. Since you don't actually know him, it's just a crush and something to be enjoyed until it passes.

I don't suppose anyone would like to think that their dh or dp felt like this about another woman but it stands to reason that they will, at some point. Most people understand that, surely, but trust them not to act on it.

You're only in dangerous territory if you think you're in with a chance and engineering ways to meet him again.

You're posting on an anonymous forum not asking your friends to set you up, or humiliating your dp by talking to people about it. If it's never happened to you before then wanting to talk to other people about it is understandable too.

Like he should be on a telenovela in a cape.

If he's that breathtakingly beautiful then I'm sure most women think phwoar when he works on their homes. Ive looked at men and thought I wouldn't kick him out of bed. Obviously you don't take it any further if you're attached.

Just leave it there. The rest is fantasy, like a teenage girl kissing her Adam Ant poster and dreaming about how they'll meet and fall in love.

I was cringing just reading your little romance novel. you pervert.

Is this a Mills and Boon short story?

@Gogogadgetarms snap!

Remove his number from your phone so you aren’t tempted to look

I read this piece in The Guardian a while back - seems the whole 'locked eyes with a stranger' thing is real!

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/23/how-we-met-he-was-the-most-beautiful-man-id-ever-seen-i-asked-him-are-you-single

I think the right thing to do would be to share his details :D

Did he call you M'lady? Would he if I paid him extra do you think?! ;)

Though you're not single OP, so just let it be a harmless fantasy and it'll die.

Checking out of a hotel in Spain once, I walked round past the hotel’s stables, where a young man with floppy dark hair, in blue jeans and a white shirt was sitting playing the guitar. He looked up and blushed slightly, then said something in broken English about needing to practise. He was bloody gorgeous, and that image stays with me.

We’re only human OP .

But get off his WhatsApp- that’s a bit weird.

Some harsh answers on here.

It's normal.

It fades. That's what winter is for.

Having just seen Hamilton, I am currently enjoying a serious crush on Lin-Manuel Maria. I am old enough to be his Mother!

Enjoy your fantasy life, but leave it where it is.

LinManuel Miranda...

There is a certain allure to a dirty workman, all tanned, muscly and capable. I'm married to one

There are draw backs; he stomps his work boots through the house, they stink when he takes them off, my washing machine breaks regularly from various bits of gravel, wood chip caught in his work clothes and he's often knackered after work and snoring on the sofa after 2 beers.

Haha, that description was hilarious! It was like reading a Diet Coke advert. It’s a crush, you met someone you fancy and it’ll pass. Just stop looking at his whatsapp photo all the time! I would imagine lots of people react that way to him if he’s as good looking as you suggest.

I think it’s normal to have the odd crush but you just ignore it and stop being stupid. I am happily married and have never felt so settled and content so I’d never do anything to jeopardise that. I still notice that people are attractive but I know the reality is that I wouldn’t feel as happy in a relationship with other people as I do with my husband.

I have also had that ‘lightning bolt’ feeling once as a young woman, in a public toilet of all places! So I do understand the reaction you are describing. No idea why, I’ve never had a relationship with a woman or very strong feelings for a woman, but she walked through the door, made eye contact, smiled and and said “hi” and I felt like I’d had all the breath taken out of my lungs. It was many years ago now but I still remember what she looked like and how I felt. It wasn’t even really to do with looks, she was a normal looking person but I was absolutely taken with her. No idea what it was, some kind of hormonal thing probably.

If your marriage is good, delete the WhatsApp and know that it'll pass.
It's lovely to feel a lightening bolt - it reminds you that you are alive.
But it doesn't mean you are compatible / would be happy long term.
Don't throw away what you have lightly.

I was in love with someone aged 21.
He was married I discovered, so I ended it.
We met again 4 years ago (I'm now 50). Still can't be together (he's still married, but to someone else now, he left his wife, I'd gone, he found someone else!)
But, goodness, its just the same, even speaking on the phone.
And he is not remotely 'good looking' (and never was, but the lightening bolt was real enough)., So, proceed with caution! x

First response predictably bonkers.

I get these infatuations from time to time. I just ride it out. It goes away eventually. From your perspective I would delete the number.

Your partner shouldn’t be shaking anybody’s hand at the moment...

Have you sent this to Take A Break yet? I've heard there's 250 quid in it.

I cannot believe your OH shook hands with someone! What part of pandemic does he not understand??

Why don't you channel all that sexual energy into writing some erotic fiction.

It was a very flowery and wordy post just to say you fancied the handyman.

He sounds divine! I appreciate a handsome male. I once saw a guy on holiday who had the most beautiful eyes !

Op,go have a cold shower and stop this thinking!you're not a teenager!

I had the same with a diving instructor once. I lost my breath when I walked up to the dive centre and saw him putting the equipment together, all tanned and muscly arms.

We went on to have a bit of a fling, and he turned out to be a bit of a knob. Amazing how unattractive he became once I realised this. I’m obviously no suggesting you engineer a fling, but he may also actually be a bit of a disappointment if you were to get to know him