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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've paid for next week's group holiday but no one has paid their contribution!

301 replies

Waferbiscuit · 28/07/2020 21:20

Weird situation. Going on UK holiday with a friend, her two friends and our 5 children. I agreed to pay for the whole thing on a spare credit card on the basis that they'd BACS me their contribution but I've not received a dime. I paid 5 weeks ago and we leave next Monday.

What's the standard protocol on this? I don't want to get into a situation where I have to chase them for money after the holiday, when they'd obviously be less inclined to pay or where I may get dribs and drabs over an extended period. Given the number of people coming it's obviously cost quite a bit.

OP posts:
Timekeeper1 · 29/07/2020 00:53

It's sheer madness to go anywhere on holiday even locally, but with entire families and other people you don't even know? What were you thinking? I don't understand this need people have of holidaying with strangers or even extended families. That's no holiday at all, holidays are meant to be spent with your DH/DP and kids. As a family. I also think you're probably the only one that took this holiday seriously, and the rest don't even believe it's happening, so will probably shocked you even arranged it. If they haven't paid you btw now, they never intended to go, and that's the hint. Cancel, and stay home!

bridgetreilly · 29/07/2020 01:05

That's no holiday at all, holidays are meant to be spent with your DH/DP and kids.

So single people should just stay at home and be miserable all the time? Thanks for that. There's no rule that holidays should [only] be for families and I can safely say that none of my best holidays have been the ones with just my own family there. You do you and stop making up rles for the rest of us.

BadLad · 29/07/2020 01:15

I need to be blunt. My credit card bill is due on Friday, and I can't pay for the trip myself. So please transfer your share by the end of today, or I'll have no option but to cancel.

I'd say something like the above.

biglouis · 29/07/2020 01:18

A few years ago I was due to go abroad with a friend. Holiday was all paid up but she phoned to say she needed new engine for her car and had to cancel as it would leave her broke with no spending money.

I told her if we cancel we will lose all the money for the holiday so you might as well go. Lets do it as cheaply as possible so put your spends on a card or borrow it. She would not relent and thought it was irresponsible to spend more money on top of the unexpected car repair bill.

Travel agent said we would lose all our money if we cancelled and it was too late for me to get a substitute companion. In the end I sent her the tickets and said it was up to her what she did. I traveled out alone and had a good holiday. I was not going to lose all MY money because of someone who broke a promise.

However my case was different because my friend had paid her own bill. If you cancel will you lost ALL the money including what you paid for your friends? You need to get tough.

YukoandHiro · 29/07/2020 01:23

In the current environment I'd be asking: is everyone actually planning to come - or will some of them drop out blaming covid?
I'd be chasing hard tomorrow morning and say you'll need to cancel the whole thing if you don't have all payments by the end of the week.

HagridsBackTeeth · 29/07/2020 01:25

Whatever happens, DONT go with them without payment! You won’t get the money if you do, but they’ll get a free holiday!

jimmyjammy001 · 29/07/2020 01:28

Within a few days I would be reminding people, if its an expensive holiday telling them that my credit card needs paying off and that you need the funds, really can not understand people who know full well that they owe money to someone and do not pay, if a friend has gone through trouble booking something and I've agreed money gets transferred same day, none of this sorry forgot business a week later

BadLad · 29/07/2020 01:31

I'd be chasing hard tomorrow morning and say you'll need to cancel the whole thing if you don't have all payments by the end of the week.

The OP says they're due to leave next Monday. If that means August 3rd, the end of the week is rather late as a deadline to pay up.

It needs to be asafp.

Flipflopsaga · 29/07/2020 01:38

@BadLad

I need to be blunt. My credit card bill is due on Friday, and I can't pay for the trip myself. So please transfer your share by the end of today, or I'll have no option but to cancel.

I'd say something like the above.

Totally agree! Brilliant post. Send no messages that can misconstrued. Best of luck and please never put yourself in a situation like this again. You sound very kind but unfortunately even friends that appear nice, take advantage of kindness.
Timekeeper1 · 29/07/2020 01:47

@bridgetreilly The OP says "our children", so I don't think she is on her own. There is also a big difference between one person joining someone else for a holiday, and one nuclear family (with/or without a DP/parent) joining up with another nuclear family plus 2 other people. I forgot this is mumsnet where 'taken as read' doesn't exist and where common sense should not be expected to used; that every minute detail should be spelled out.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 29/07/2020 03:06

They are taking the piss OP.

I hope you get your money.

dayslikethese1 · 29/07/2020 04:33

Check with the holiday company to see if you can get any money back and what the deadline is to cancel.

EggBoxes · 29/07/2020 05:36

I’m wondering how firm the holiday pan was. If you seriously intend on going on holiday you generally pay for it.

Nquartz · 29/07/2020 06:05

As lots of PO have said, don't give them even a whiff of cancelling being an option, they have to pay whether they go or not.

And if you ever go on a group holiday again make sure you have everyone else's money before you book.

notfunnynow · 29/07/2020 06:12

I don’t think they’ve got any intention of going.

sapphire54925 · 29/07/2020 06:13

Have u texted them yet

bedface · 29/07/2020 06:18

@Timekeeper1 it's bloody weird to be making pronouncements on what sort of holiday groups are acceptable.

What a strange and judgy person you are.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/07/2020 06:23

These people aren’t friends. They are users. I agree with sending individual messages. I hope you can cancel without being too much out of pocket. If all else fails, Perhaps go by yourself with your children. I get that’s something you’re struggling to afford. But I would not be letting them come if they haven’t paid.

Penners99 · 29/07/2020 06:46

Cancel the holiday but do NOT tell the CF's.

Sit back and await the mayhem!

newmum332 · 29/07/2020 06:57

How annoying for your OP! We’ve all been in similar situations.
I’d chase them again, tell them you want the money paid today.

If they haven’t paid by a reasonable time (5ish) I’d say to them if you’ve not received the money you’re going to look at the cancellation policy or ask some other friends as you can’t afford to go on your own.

At least then you are being very direct and telling them they can’t go without paying and you will either cancel or go with someone who will pay.

It might sound a bit harsh but they really should have paid you by now.

Playmysong · 29/07/2020 07:04

Sorry op, but it looks like they have changed their mind. I would be phoning them this morning and telling them they owe you £s. Do not give them the option to cancel. You need to really push for immediate payment, and tell them you are incurring charges on your account, to try to guilt them into paying!

If it is a lodge/house that you have booked I seriously doubt you will get refund of any payment, as cancelling at this late stage normally means you forfeit the full amount! Unfortunately, as some aren’t even friends, they probably won’t care if you are left out of pocket!

Good luck op, I really hope that you aren’t left having to pay for the whole thing.

CalmConfident · 29/07/2020 07:11

Do not give cancelling as an option, you will likely not get money back at this stage.

Be factual, make sure you include your bank details and amount owed. No passive aggressive jokey texts. PP nailed it nicely

Hi all. Need your holiday balance ASAP. X you owe £y ... etc. All money to be paid to my account xxxxxxxx sort code xxxxxx. Need it tomorrow or we will incur interest charges. Thanks.

CalmConfident · 29/07/2020 07:13

Separately talk to the holiday booking company or check your terms and the cancellation policy....I doubt you will have many options now other then full payment Sad

BurtsBeesKnees · 29/07/2020 07:13

I'd be telling them the payment is due on your cc and that you'll be incurring interest charges. They need to pay by X date or you'll be forced to cancel the trip.

They are very much out of order op

madbirdlady22 · 29/07/2020 07:20

Call them individually and explain the bill has arrived for the cc, do not text or email as it is easy to ignore.
A phone call would be better. Text your account details to them whilst they are on the phone, and check they have the message.

I am not sure I would even want to go on holiday with the CFs, what a cheek! I guess they are using the holiday as a free option, as they haven't paid.

Do you have anyone else you could invite in case it falls through?