To think once your children get to a certain age and stage in life, you experience a second wind !

[Lardlizard]

I just feel one coming on !
Like where you feel full of life and energy

Mine are 9 and 10 now, they argue which is harder than when they were small. But it is nice when we go out and don't need all the kid paraphernalia!

I see tween attitude emerging thought. 🙈

Yes, so don't do what I did and have another baby then..lol... (they are now 34, 31...and 16!)
Seriously, wouldn't be without my 'baby' but am happily past it .

When does this happen? I've got 5 dc between 14 and 6 and it hasn't happened for me yet.

Love this. 7,5 and nearly 2 here. Makes a huge change when they don’t wake up as early or need constant supervision.

oh yes, early fifties, lovely partner who makes me laugh and shares the grunt work, HRT, planning retirement and some holidays of a lifetime, daughter early twenties nearly off my hands, no mortgage, house nearly finished. What's not to like?

I would say that the second wave comes when you can safely leave them and go out for the evening. My 2 are 16 and 14 now and we left them for the first time a couple of years ago to go out for an anniversary dinner. We have done this a few times now and we are now counting down to when we can go away for the weekend and leave them without someone having to stay.

Agree with cassgate it is when you can leave them and go out alone!
Especially if they have a good time at home without you

A wonderful thread... Gives so much hope to those of us still knee deep in nappies and broken sleep!

Oh the joy of 2 teenagers who can cook a meal, travel to their own sports practices on bus or bike, do their own laundry and make me laugh!

I recall DS starting school when he was 4.5 years old and beginning to feel as though I got a bit of my life back. However, not long after I had DD and I'm back to feeling completely frazzled and a bit lost. I'm hoping that when she starts school next year I might start feeling like I have a little bit of life/energy back.
Right now I look, and feel, like an extra from The Walking Dead!!

Mine started around a year ago. Our youngest has just turned 10 (older DC 23, 18,18) and I’ve never felt better. I’m the slimmest and fittest I’ve been in 23 years, sex is better than ever and DH and I had started going out together before lockdown for dinner, drinks, cinema. We go to the gym together too. We’ve got our first ever long weekend away, post DC, on our own booked in October (CV permitting).

I take much more time for self care now, stuff like face masks, painting nails, creaming feet etc, which is something I really missed out on when DC we’re younger and makes such a difference in how you feel.

I remember so well being in the thick of it with a 5am waking hyperactive toddler, tearaway twins and a raging hormonal teenager. It was so rough. Things have completely turned on their head now they’re older.

We can all sit down and eat the same food without someone crying; pleasant activities come to a pleasant end, without someone yelling and me wondering why we bothered; they wake up at a reasonable hour (sometimes I set my alarm so I can exercise and have a cup of tea in blissful solitude); they tell genuinely funny jokes and want to play board games we all like; they think hard about people's birthdays and what they think that person would like.

Thank you so much @PlanetSlattern. My youngest starts school this sept and what you’ve written is what I dream of. What with lockdown and then summer holidays, sometimes it feels like we will NEVER get there. Thank you and thank you OP for starting this thread, I needed to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel!!

The joy of them both being in secondary school. No random craft projects. Optional school run ie if it’s pouring we might take them. Both of them at sports fixtures on a Saturday morning without needing a lift.

Love this thread! Always hated the "you'll miss this stage" brigade when mine were toddlers as that stage was totally at odds with my personality and I knew I'd not miss it and I don't! My youngest is 5, I sleep all night, we can do things we both enjoy - even things like going to the supermarket with him are nice rather than stressful, I am a person again as well as a mum. It's great.

Few, if any, situations are improved by having a toddler in them.

When?! WHEEEEEN?!

I feel I'm about to enter a second wind too. Mine are still relatively small but both are due to begin preschool in September. This is huge for me as I've had four years of SAHM misery (I really, REALLY hated it but circumstances meant I didn't have much choice ) I'm going back to complete a masters part time in September and will be working part time alongside it. I'm so excited! Finally feel I'm getting a bit of "me" back

Yes definitely - in stages I've found. I vowed I'd never work full time again, but once DS2 was in full time nursery at 3, it was like I emerged from a fog and I came over all ambitious, went back into full time, permanent teaching and was able to refocus on my career. The following year he started to sleep through and I felt relatively normal again.

Now they're 8 and 6, they pretty much crack on with their own lives at home. I'm off for the summer holidays (teacher) and I've been able to completely relax for once. I play with them if they ask, but they don't ask much, so I mostly have my feet up watching TV. Me and DH can go out a lot more. We can take them for meals out without them making a holy show of us. We all go to the gym together. I never thought it would get this easy this soon 😂

However, DS2 is a mini me, so I know it will get harder again during the teenage years.

When I think back now to having a baby and a toddler, and then two toddlers...at that point I'd never have envisaged the life we have now.

ooooh this is giving me hope. Mine are 5.5 and 2.5 years old and there is just constant whining.

Mine are 9, 7, 5 and 1. No second wind on the horizon for me yet

I'd like to know when. Mine are secondary age and I'm drowning .
Less sleep than when I had young kids.

Wait until your youngest one is coming up for 16. You can actually go out and stay out all night if you want to, get pissed and all.

It's besides the point at mid 50 that i actually can't be bothered to do the above

It's quite marvellous when you get your life back and they can do things like make food and take care of themselves for hours on end, it's just a shame if you're working full time you're quite often too knackered to go wild 😂

I had one when they started school - sudden energy rush because my days belonged to me again.

Then had to wait a decade and a half for the next one to come along - now the youngest is 18 I finally feel able to have some time to myself and pursue my own interests.

@CoronaIsShit THANK YOU for that, and this whole thread.

Mine are DD1 5y6m and DTwins 2y5m.

OMG! Today they woke at 6 and then we had 12 hours of "don't pinch him", "careful, you'll break that", "put your shoes on" etc etc.

They are all lovely kids but they need telling or helping to do almost everything, they need following around at the playground lest they launch themselves off the slide or throw sand at another child, they cannot be left outside as they will eat leaves or fall into next door's garden..... last night I was up till midnight cooking a lasagne with hidden veggies from scratch. Two ate it, one just tipped his water over his plate and pouted.

I am trying to do a senior management job as well as this......

I need to know I will have time to go to a yoga class rather than doing a podcast on quiet after the kids' bedtime.... go to bed and not be woken up someone scared there is a dragon in their room..... and have some damn money again rather than paying a third of my income to the local nursery!

This is hopeful but I’m not convinced. After four months of homeschooling or just trying to care for the emotional and physical well-being of a six year old while simultaneously trying to complete intellectually and emotionally challenging work and dealing with an overworked and over stressed highly anxious husband I feel like I just need to hang in there till retirement when I can sleep forever 😴 😴 😴
I’ve never been so exhausted. Even when ds was a breastfed non-sleeper. That was physical. This is completely emotionally empty.

@FromTheAllotment I'm glad! I remember being broken by the lack of sleep, feeling like a mean mother, a horrible wife, a poor friend and breathtakingly boring, stupid and uninformed about the world. When people said things like, "Just you wait! Babies are a piece of cake," it made me want to cry.

Clearly everyone has bad days, and I'm sure things will take a downward turn during the teenage years. But for now things are pretty good.

@museumum 💐 I'm sorry things are so tough for you at the moment.