To say no to this?

[Dollycarton81]

My SIL had a baby a few months ago. Saw baby in laws garden when lockdown eased initially. She now wants me and dp to travel to see her about 1.5 hours away in the car at her home. Our car is out of action at the minute so she's suggesting we travel with in laws and younger SIL - it's going to be some sort of garden party affair apparently but obviously to also spend time with the new baby.

So five of us in a small car together and I know younger SIL has still been going out to pubs, work and school runs.

I feel pretty uncomfortable about the prospect of this for covid reasons but I feel like older SIL will kick off if I say no we can't go. If I'm being honest I have struggled with my mental health a lot during lockdown and am only now slowly easing myself back into going out locally so the idea of travel is making me feel a bit anxious as well for reasons other than the covid worry.

Aibu to say no? Is this sort of travel even allowed at the moment outside of your bubble?

Don't go if you don't want to. Hope that helps.

I'd go for the sake of family harmony but you could send DP without you if you're worried.

How will SIL kick off, will you be pressured to go by other members of the family?

You're entitled to say no to things - just because lockdown eased a little doesn't mean you're duty bound to go gadding about all over the place people pleasing. Tell her you'll go up once your car is back on the road.

You have every right to decline any invitation, at any time. If she kicks off, ignore it

I don't think I'll be pressured by others, dp isn't even that bothered, but I do think SIL may see it as a snub and paint us as not being bothered about seeing our new niece. Which isn't the case at all but I just feel very uncomfortable about the travelling. I don't like travelling with other people at the best of times as I sometimes get anxious and travel sick. But now there is the added covid worry too.

I know Im a grown up and should just be able to say no to things I don't want to do but I can't help feeling guilty about it.

Just say you’re not comfortable with being in a car with others as you clearly can’t social distance and would hate to put anyone at risk. Looking forward to seeing you all once the car is fixed / things ease a bit re needing to social distance.

If you don't want to go then don't go. But you might just find it does you some good socialising with family and having a chat.

It’s against current social distancing guidance, so you could use that if you don’t want to go.

At the moment only 2 households are allowed to meet inside and a total of 6 individuals outside. Perhaps say you’re worried about the risk to the baby with all those people.

It is against social distancing guidance isn't it? The garden party is outdoors (obviously) so not too much of an issue. It's the 3 hour round trip in the close proximity of the car that worries me.

I just feel ridiculously anxious about saying no. I also feel ridiculously anxious about going there. My mental health has got a lot worse in lockdown

Can you borrow a car and travel on it?

YANBU, I wouldn't go either, I know restrictions are changing but I feel that parties and gatherings are irresponsible. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Say no and remember noone is entitled to your time. You have every right to protect yourself.