Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To clean with boobs out?

296 replies

CleaningCleavageCringe · 28/07/2020 15:47

NC for this absolutely mortified.

Got up after a night shift yesterday and cracked on with some cleaning which I think is impressive in itself. Didn't see the point in getting dressed only to get all sweaty so kept my PJs on, which for me is PJ bottoms and a strap top.

Anyway, day off today and had a note through the door saying
"Can you please dress more appropriately for activities like cleaning. My husband and I were very uncomfortable with your display yesterday "

Now, admittedly I am very well endowed in the boob area (100% not a stealth boast, they literally get on my tits and I'm hoping to have a reduction once we've finished having kids) and the girls did pop out a few times. It wasnt a very supportive or concealing top as it's been retired from my wardrobe and relegated to the pajama drawer. 😳

I am absolutely mortified and want to find a way to apologise, but the note was anonymous!

DH fell about laughing and said that I have every right to dress how I wish in my own home and if they don't like looking at me they have every right to look away.

Thing is though, I'm now thinking of all the times I've wandered around naked after a shower waiting for cream to soak in or fake tan to dry! I've never thought twice about it!

The shame. The deep deep shame.

OP posts:
Lookyloo · 28/07/2020 18:45

We had a very large lady parade around at night with the curtains open naked albeit doing nothing. My OH at the time used to go Fuck's sake and pull our curtains as it wasn't really a pretty sight. I used to laugh at him but he was disgusted, not turned on.

Happynow001 · 28/07/2020 18:46

@Changingnames34

OP, I very much believe you on this... because it happened to me!

I once had a note through the door ordering me to close my curtains, because they didn’t like seeing me and my partner walking across our bedroom in our underwear. Well, in her words, our “shorts”. Bearing in mind, we’d never 1. Go right up to the window or 2. Be in a state of undress with the lights on and curtains open at night.

Like yours, the note was anonymous! Although we had a fairly good idea of who it was... the lady across the road who sat right in front of her window all day.
Grin

You should have said "Oh No - couldn't possibly have been US, because we walk naked round the house!"

Island35 · 28/07/2020 18:47

Oh you've made my day. Your DH is right that you were in your own home, I'd be equally mortified but if you can't take your bra off at home where can you? Your neighbours have the opportunity to not look.

Coldspringharbour · 28/07/2020 18:49

Omg you have no need to feel any shame. Were you in your own house. What the hell were your neighbours doing watching you!
You have done nothing wrong and shouldn’t apologise for cleaning your house. I regularly clean in my jamas and when I clean the bathroom am sometimes only wearing a pair of knickers, because I climb in the shower to clean it. The cheeky fuckers! Just ignore them. Every credit for managing to clean when you’re on nights 💐

Lookyloo · 28/07/2020 18:49

I suggest you consider that you may not be as appealing as you think. Not everyone wants to see big knockers on display naked. You know as well as I do, that if your lights are on and it's dark outside, you're very visible. If your boobs are falling out of your tops and your neighbours have to witness that, maybe appreciate that though your DH might appreciate your BOOBS, not everyone does.

Lookyloo · 28/07/2020 18:50

This isn't about her taking her bra off, this is about her knockers removing themselves from her vest.

mbosnz · 28/07/2020 18:51

If you don't want to see your neighbours, don't be looking in their windows.

No one's head was in a vice, immobilising them, forcing them to peer into anybody's windows.

And there's always the neighbour's curtains, that they presumably are perfectly able to pull.

2Kidsinatrenchcoat · 28/07/2020 18:52

@Lookyloo

I suggest you consider that you may not be as appealing as you think. Not everyone wants to see big knockers on display naked. You know as well as I do, that if your lights are on and it's dark outside, you're very visible. If your boobs are falling out of your tops and your neighbours have to witness that, maybe appreciate that though your DH might appreciate your BOOBS, not everyone does.
OP can do what she wants in her house, you don’t have to be ‘appealing’ to walk around your own house in your pyjamas. They shouldn’t be looking through her windows.
Lookyloo · 28/07/2020 18:53

If that's the fucking case, put a top on, because believe me, not everyone finds big knockers staring out at them attractive!

Goingdownto · 28/07/2020 18:53

You've shouldn't have to close your curtains to avoid seeing naked neighbours! Have a bit of common decency!

mbosnz · 28/07/2020 18:55

If that's the fucking case, put a top on, because believe me, not everyone finds big knockers staring out at them attractive!

Then don't be perving in the neighbour's window! And you won't have to close the curtains to avoid seeing naked neighbours if you don't look in their damned windows!

mbosnz · 28/07/2020 18:55

To add, it's not like she was pressed up to the window, masturbating. She was doing the housework, and a boob slipped out a time or two, of her top.

2020nymph · 28/07/2020 18:56

I reckon the note is a bit of reverse psychology and they really want to see you cleaning in your nipple tassels!!

Nymeriastark1 · 28/07/2020 19:00

@Lookyloo so don't look in your neighbours window and invade their privacy, or do you like to have a little lookyloo in your neighbours windows 👀

Goingdownto · 28/07/2020 19:00

Without seeing the location of the windows mbosnz (perhaps a diagram? Smile ) we cant possible say whether it's easy to avoid looking in or not. Not everyone lives in homes that aren't overlooked

Goingdownto · 28/07/2020 19:01

Would we be happy if a neighbour did the cleaning with his knob out?

mbosnz · 28/07/2020 19:03

It doesn't matter if it's overlooked or not. Don't look/won't see.

If you do happen to glance and see something you'd rather not, ensure you are elsewhere for a bit.

(I live in both an overlooked and overlooking house).

doadeer · 28/07/2020 19:03

What? This is in your own house? Wear nothing if you want! Don't state in people's windows!

mbosnz · 28/07/2020 19:04

Would we be happy if a neighbour did the cleaning with his knob out?

With most fellas you'd have to be looking really damned hard, possibly with binoculars, to see that. . .

Paragraff · 28/07/2020 19:05

Seeing someone in their house isn't the same as perving, and isn't the same as looking.
The UK is all about doing whatever the fuck you like because "it's your right". This country would be a hell of a lot nicer if people someone considered other people, not because they had to, but because it's the decent way to behave. If you start doing it, others might do the same, in your favour.

AllsortsofAwkward · 28/07/2020 19:05

Sounds like a bitter wife caught her husband ogling you and wrote a note. Next time clean in strappy top and hot pants Wink

Lookyloo · 28/07/2020 19:06

Nymeriastark1 I had no problem with the woman, though she obviously wanted to display herself. It was DP who would start retching and I'd be going what's wrong with you now ffs and he'd say, the woman at the window. In fairness, if she was 20 and fit, he'd have been fine with the woman at the window, but this was a very obese elderly lady. I used to try to say to him, she's just getting dressed after a shower and then he'd puke a little bit more, so we'd pull our curtains.

Voltan123 · 28/07/2020 19:06

I agree with your DH - probably a jealous woman who wrote that note. You weren’t naked and you were in your own home. No noise pollution etc. They could just look away

jassa090 · 28/07/2020 19:09

I would wait for them to identify themselves and then respond that they have been reported to the police for snooping. I wouldnt bother reporting them but if they are the sort of people offended by pyjamas I bet it will scare them shitless.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 28/07/2020 19:09

Would we be happy if a neighbour did the cleaning with his knob out

In his own home? yes. He can do what he wants in his own home!

If I caught a glimpse of it, I would find that a bit weird, but there is no way I'd assume I have the right to tell him what to wear in his own home. Its not that easy to look in other people's houses without making an effort to look so just dont look- its not hard FFS.

You cannot police what people wear in their own homes.