CF home buyers

[Teenangels]

I am being unreasonable.

Bit of background put my house up for sale, just after lockdown ended.
I had 9 viewing on the first Saturday and 3 offers. All at different levels one at full price from someone with something to sell, one just under the asking price think 10k in a chain, the third offer was 10% off the asking price, chain free mortgage offer in place. The first time buyers also wanted a second viewing before they offered and wanted me to cancel all other bookings so they could get first chance of buying it, they were told to F off. They put in an offer.
We negotiated with the first time buyers and managed to get them to offer 5% of the asking price this was still 40K under the asking price. but we had found a house and for ease went with them but told them that this was a fixed price and there would be no further movement on price from either party.
This was beginning of June, they have had a mortgage offer and surveyor round, all fine house was valued at over their offer, I did not move on our price.
Fast forward to beginning of July another surveyors has come round and found some issues, like moss of the roof I kid you not!! That the electrics are not up to current 2019 regulations, the house was re wired in 2016, that they should check the drainage, and one of the struts in the roof is bending by 5 degrees (this is not a supporting part and there is no movement and if they wanted to replace it, it would cost no more than £50.

My buyer wrote a long email to the estate agent 3.5 weeks after they got the report to say that they wanted a structural engineer to come into the house, a builder and a plumber and electrician and we would have to vacate the house for the day so that they could check everything.
He wants the electrician to take off all the plugs and check the wiring in some of the walls (Channel them out) but not be responsible for any damage. I told them to f off, he wants to check that the electrics are working and safe ( we live in the house with 4 kids).
He is now saying that I have to let him have access.
I have given him access on Thursday to look at the roof, but not to do any electrical work.
I have said that if he plays anymore games the house will be back on the market, I think he wants me to reduce the price, there is no chance.

Maybe order one of those Malcolm inflatable men (like on Dinnerladies) and you can sit him in your front window for your next prospective buyers....

Dear FTB

The vendor has decided to relist her property due to your unrealistic expectations and complete ignorance of the property purchase process. As your demands are so out of line with reality at this relatively early stage, she envisages that the process will become more difficult and stressful as the purchase moves forward.

As a result she has decided she would prefer to proceed with a more realistic buyer, preferably one who has a working knowledge of how the purchase process works and who refrains from sexist insults. We have every confidence the vendor will receive an offer close to asking price in the near future and wish you every success with the purchase of an alternative property, preferably marketed by another agent.

Tell them I have resisted the house as they are being difficult and they are not to make any more demands or offers. They are not buying the house.

Relisted, sorry.

@Shewhomustbeobeyed1

Are your Current “potential” buyers from Australia? It sounds like the kind if thing that’s would be requested here

What? No it isn’t!

But how could a little woman possibly know how to take a shed down on her lonesome??!
Dear CF,
Seller has asked me to tell you she would love to carry on selling to you, but being a woman all alone, with no big strong man to help her, your latest request has put her in such a dither she feels she cannot comply. Who in this big scary world would help her take a shed down?

Thus whilst she fans herself and has smelling salts at the ready, please accept her gracious apologies for relisting the house.
now bugger off
EA

@Alsohuman omg I love it. Send this send this!!

Alsohuman - perfect response!

@LannieDuck

Maybe suggest they speak to your husband about the shed?

Brilliant!

Here is my starter for 10.

Usually a first time buyer is highly desirable due to:
*not being in a chain, so therefore a quicker conveyance process and less likely for the chain to collapse
*usually being pretty flexible on timings
*usually being keen, being a motivated buyer and having their finances in order

You are none of the above. In the short time that we have been in contact with each other, you have been:

• a dick head *a sexist dick head *overly finicky about very minor points in a survey when work has clearly been done in the last 5 years so there is no health & safety issue *wanted to spend a day in my house and use my WiFi to work - this is batshit crazy *wanted me to remove a shed, er no I won't *And finally you're a dick head

Dear FTB
As decent human being I could not impose you and your entitled behaviour on the neighbourhood.
Also, as a woman I know nothing of sheds or how to remove them and my little pink screwdriver has never done more than tighten the screws on my jewellery box.

This sounds exactly like our previous buyers, FTB who had survey after survey done and then wanted 50k taken off the asking price for no other reason than they felt that the market would drop with Covid. They didn't really want to buy the house at all and were listening to "advice" from their parents. We put it back on the market, previous interested party put an offer in for asking price the next day and we are completing next week all going well. House prices have actually risen where we are with so many people either having lived with their parents for the last 5/6 months and saving or being stuck in apartments for lockdown but their being a lack of properties as people in 4/5 bed homes dont want to move on just yet.

You'll find another buyer who actually wants to move and is in a chain rather than FTB who are too scared to bite the bullet

@Teenangels

Been following your thread for a few day and I've actually giggling at the fact you've told the agent to re-list and tell the buyers it's because their arseholes/being difficult.

I need to hear what the buyers reaction to that was.Talk about wishing you were a fly on the wall moment.

Just tell them that they were given a significant discount in order to have a more straightforward exchange process. As they have continued to make demands, that criteria no longer exists so you've decided that a different buyer will be more appropriate.

Dear CF,
Seller has asked me to tell you she would love to carry on selling to you, but being a woman all alone, with no big strong man to help her, your latest request has put her in such a dither she feels she cannot comply. Who in this big scary world would help her take a shed down?

^Thus whilst she fans herself and has smelling salts at the ready, please accept her gracious apologies for relisting the house.
now bugger off^
EA

Perfect

"I refer you to the reply given in Arkell vs Pressdram."

Just say 'I'm so sorry but because I don't have a husband , I can't possibly take the shed down , there might be spiders. I just need to think about knitting and kittens until I feel better '

Unfortunately this has been my experience with FTBs

If I could I would ask for the EA to not send round FTBs I have had my fill.

I had one come round yesterday on a house I am selling
They really wanted a 2-3 acre plot and maybe a 9-10 bedroom house for the price my 4 bed house set in 1/4 acre

There are houses that size with the huge gardens for sale but you have to put a 3 in front of my house price.

Dear FTB,

It's one thing to be inexperienced in House buying. It's quite another to be ignorant. Besides my next door neighbours husband said I shouldn't sell to you because this is a nice street with pleasant people.

We almost sold to someone who got 5 different surveys done, and kept trying to push the price down. When we told him where to go he threatened to sue us as he'd spend thousands on surveys. I still think about his wife and kids and worry about them; he was a really nasty sort.

I have never heard of people getting more than one survey unless the survey said to get a structural one

Good on you @op! Maybe they’ll learn a lesson not to dick people around

A witty reply would be fun but I would reply explaining to them that they were the lowest of 3 offers made on the first day of viewings, including one at full asking price, but you went with their offer because they had the advantage of being chain free and you wanted a quick and easy sale. As they have lost that advantage by being total CFs, you will only sell to them if they offer the full asking price, exchange immediately with a completion date chosen by you and you will continue to market the property until exchange. I might agree to move the shed as a concession.

@orangenasturtium I agree up to a point nut I might agree to move the shed as a concession. Fuck that.

OP might be currently using the shed and doesn't want it taken down? It would be the same as saying I don't like the decor in the main bedroom, can you strip the wallpaper and paint it blue - not happening.

What if OP takes down the shed etc and then the sale falls through and future buyers might be looking for a shed?

Great thread! Not sure how l am can now move house myself as l have no husband . My father is also deceased, what shall be come of me!

I would only go ahead with this sale if you hated your neighbours and got another £35k+ on top. They are truly special but yeah aren’t getting the message

@3rdNamechange

Just say 'I'm so sorry but because I don't have a husband , I can't possibly take the shed down , there might be spiders. I just need to think about knitting and kittens until I feel better '

OP please send this!!