to civilly ask you to use your cars less

[mosquitofeast]

My last thread was deleted because I was not being "civil" enough, I don't actually think it is a subject there is much room for civility in, but I will try!

My last post was to try and answer some questions about me. Here they are

I think I have answered these.

No I am not a strict vegetarian. I don't buy milk or dairy, but eat it in other peoples houses,

no I don't fly,

foodmiles, well, I take them into consideration, but they are not the only indicator of the environmental impact of food. Tomatoes grown in a heated greenhouse 2 miles away might have more environmental impact than tomatoes grown outside in Spain, and flown in.

I have 2 adopted children, 1 is an adult no longer living at home I currently have 3 foster children, but that is likely to change this week

Yes I have a pet, it came with one of the adopted children.

No I don't smoke

@allfalldown47

So you're now saying you're a single parent?

when did I ever say I wasn't?

It’s just sounding a bit unrealistic, OP. Anyone can say anything they like on the internet, and it just stretches credibility that you work 80 hours a week, walk for over 3 hours a day and still have the time to foster multiple children. Plus the work you mentioned you do with freeing modern day enslaved people on your other thread about slavery, which I assume is some kind of voluntary role?

I can’t help but think you’re creating a pedestal for yourself so you feel justified in the judgments you’ve made about other people. I think that the explanations people have given for why they drive have opened your eyes, but you feel defensive and don’t want to back down. So instead of accepting that not everyone is in a position to behave the way you think they should, you’ve created this persona of someone who has an 80 hour a week job and full time caring responsibilities as a single foster parent, but still manages to find time to walk ten miles a day. I think it’s a fictionalised (or exaggerated) ‘if I can do it, anyone can!’.

Maybe I’m wrong and everything you’ve said is true, and you just prioritise walking over everything else that you simply don’t have time for (seeing family and friends, taking your children on trips to the cinema or swimming lessons, etc) but it’s all too easy to pretend to be someone on the internet, and your story just stretches the limits of credulity a little too much.

Lockdown has shown me I can reduce the amount I use my car, and has also really highlighted how much an improvement can be made to the air quality if everyone did cut down their car use. The change is air quality has been quite dramatic in this city.

But. I will not only ever use my car for journeys more than 2 miles as there simply isn't enough time in my life for me to always walk those distances. And your attitude in this and previous post makes it clear you have no empathy for other peoples lives.

Why are you so bothered?

If I stopped using my car, I would have to give up my job. I'm an essential car user, and am contractually required to provide my own car to use for work.

And I live in a small town in a rural area, with very poor public transport. In normal times, I do journeys that would require bus, train and bus/taxi if I were to do them by public transport. And as I only work 6 hours a day, 3 days pw, I'd have to leave as soon as I got there, as some of the journeys I do would take 3 hours by public transport!

Dam did i miss something.

I think that the explanations people have given for why they drive have opened your eyes, but you feel defensive and don’t want to back down.

why would I feel defensive? What reason has anyone given for driving that would "open my eyes"?

Oh, and I have arthritis in my spine, knees and hips, so walking a mile is as much as I can manage in one go!

I drive unnecessarily all the time. All the time. Because I'm lazy and it makes long boring chores into shorter boring chores.

Just used the fancy new function to read the OP's post. good god, that an awful lot of shite being spouted.

"That's why I don't generally buy meat or dairy. I am a foster carer, and do need to be flexible for the well being of my charges, but I don't eat meat or diary myself, ever, except it someone else's house, where I don't want to be an inconvenience. Although most of my friends know I am basically vegan, and cook for me accordingly"

You are either vegan or not. Eating meat that you havent bought doesnt help anything! You are either repulsed by a omnivorous diet because of the environment of because of animal welfare. You cant just be vegan-ish when you want to and think you're a better person because of it. Well you can but it makes you look like a dick.

Also....EVERTHING about your lifestlye is a CHOICE. You choose to foster/adopt. You choose to walk 5 miles to work (doing a 60-80 week, really?)

I dont drive/have a car because im poor. I chose my housing situation/location to schools/services accordingly. Having the funds to jump in a taxi (also a frikken car!!!!) when you need to is a luxuary many of us dont have. You can be damned sure that when im not fucking poor again... i'll drive wherever the fuck I want. Dragging kids on foot/public for the last 12 years has not been fun. And yer 2 miles could be an easy straight and safe walk... or like in my case a massive facking nightmare. I know, i've been doing it for 12 years.

Why do you presume to know how much I use my car?

I think the really sad thing here is that morally you are probably accurate. We have given up one car and the other is only used for extensive journeys , maybe once every two weeks due to DP work patterns. We walk to school and every other place .

However , firstly this is only as a result of job loss due to covid , secondly we are intensely fortunate to live near both a town centre and a beach so have easy recreation and access to food shops etc.

The issue for me here is your condescension and intense need to guilt trip and control does so much damage to your point the best thing you could do to achieve your goals is to stop posting ,or talking about it. Your attitude is so holier than thou that you have damaged your cause further by bringing it up. I find this often happens when people feel superior to others. The delicious idiocy is that their supremely unlikeable way of putting things because they can't bear not to get some internal validation from the whole thing , then causes people to resist more to often a very sensible point. Honestly OP, stop talking and you may find people are more likely to consider the original point through reliable Bob judgemental sources if information.

This thread is depressing.
Why some people are boasting about not giving a shit, is just beyond me.
(I get that in a lot of locations there is no other option but to drive, and not everyone can afford an electric vehicle.)

@mosquitofeast on your other thread in relation to environmental impact you said you have five children - contraception failures. But now you have one adopted and three foster children?

Sorry 2 adopted children.

I think the OP probably had to list out all her holier-than-thou credentials, as it would seem you have to be a living Saint in order to suggest that people destroy the planet less.

@mosquitofeast I asked you sometime ago and you didn't reply.

Absolute bullshit then.

No social worker would even consider a single parent, who works up to 80 hours a week (not including the 10 mile walk) to care for such vulnerable children.

How do you get from school, to the various appointments you mentioned your foster children have?
Do you walk from your school, to their schools, onto their appointments and then back to your respective schools afterwards. All on foot, yes?
You must have an incredibly supportive head, especially as they have to pay extra to keep the building open for you most days to accommodate your exceptionally long day.

Reported and please don't start another thread.

13:20mosquitofeast

Todaythiscouldbe

I'm working full time. A 2 mile trip (each way plus shopping time) would take around 90 minutes on a good day, but more like 2 hours. If I can't do a big shop as I'm carrying it I would have to do this 3 or more times a week. When would you like me to make the time to do this?

again, someone with a car saying they can't do without, and forgetting that so many people, also full time workers, don't have a car, and do manage with walking

Good for them. I could do without a car if I wanted to, I don't. It's convenient and makes my life way less stressful. I'm vegetarian (as in I don't ever eat meat, not even if somebody else has bought it 😂), don't smoke and haven't been on a plane in 20 years. My car is hybrid so me driving to the shop is far better for the environment than ordering online and it being delivered from a hub 30 miles away. Stop judging other people.

@OnTheFencePaint
I'm not claiming to 'not give a shit' I absolutely do.
What I won't accept is being outrageously lied to by op, just for her to 'win' her argument.

@mosquitofeast

I think that the explanations people have given for why they drive have opened your eyes, but you feel defensive and don’t want to back down.

why would I feel defensive? What reason has anyone given for driving that would "open my eyes"?

And there's my premise about the OP summed up in a sentence by themselves.

You can't see any reason why anyone could inform you of anything.

You've opened a thread up where people are giving their personal experiences, yet you say no one could "open your eyes" no matter what they post.

It feels like you're just going to bat back anything that someone posts when it comes to their car usage, because your argument is one of complete absolutes:

Don't use the car if you can technically walk the same distance.

Also I really do hope @mosquitofeast you have your whiteboard with all your story cards and life details laid out in a timeline so you can keep track of everything you're posting on here as "evidence".

Most of us have barely left our homes in 4 months. I think you really need to stop lecturing people OP. And your previous thread deserved to be taken down because of how you spoke to people. No idea how you've been allowed to post it again

Works 80 hours a week, fosters children that would need a high level of care and time, has five of her own children, walks the entire world and still has time for mumsnet

Give that woman a medal 🏅!

Well the public transport where you live must be brilliant if you are able to get a bus to work that gets you into work for 5am because that isn’t a possibility where I am and I live in a city. Or if you are walking 5 miles a day that must been you get up around 3.30am? I’m all for trying to think about our actions and the environment, I do walk when I can but I think you have some serious unrealistic expectations if you think we all should walk to/from work for over an hour each day (2 x 40 minute walks to cover the 2 miles that you think it is unreasonable to use a car).

@doityourselfnow

Works 80 hours a week, fosters children that would need a high level of care and time, has five of her own children, walks the entire world and still has time for mumsnet

Give that woman a medal 🏅!

Right!

Puts us all to shame man