Why am I getting comments about my weight

[Flyingnutsack]

I don’t perceive myself as overweight. I am not thin but I am not overweight. I have had comments recently saying I am “quite big” and every time I ask DH if I am slim he says I am “curvy and attractive.” Then he laughs.

I am 5’8 And I weigh 64-65kg from day to day (depending on water retention). I am not lying or deluding myself. These are my numbers.

Does that seem “big” to you?

OP given your update, do you think you have a similar build than her? I think if you're tall and muscular you'd look "bigger" (not in the fat way) but I can see where they're coming from. You don't "willowy" so to speak. I'm not saying it's right, but muscle tone can make you look bigger IME.

I am three inches shorter than you, OP and weigh the same, and I am not fat! I have a toned hourglass figure. My DH says I'm curvy but he says it in the most complimentary way. I'll never be skinny though, but nor would I want to be, it wouldn't suit me. I'm a size 8 in some clothes, a 10 in others.

There is absolutely no way that you are overweight but I'm a little confused as to why you have taken offence at your DH saying you are 'curvy and attractive'.. surely that's a compliment

I'm shorter and when I was that weight I was a size 10. I'm also hourglass so not slim but I have a tiny waist.
You're cant be big at the weight and height that you are

every time I ask DH if I am slim he says I am “curvy and attractive.” Then he laughs.
Stop asking him. He answers in a way to wind you up. At least he says you are attractive.

Curvy to some means plus sized and to others means goes in at the waist.

I am 5’8 And I weigh 64-65kg
That definitely doesn't sound overweight.

Are you serious OP?

Do not focus on your shape but practicing really cutting replies to such rude people.

Start on you mother.
Husband.
Colleagues.
Daughter.

If anyone made even the slightest comment on my weight I would happily cut the legs from under their pig ignorant body.

You need to find your inner anger and tell them not to be so fxxking rude.

Whatever weight you are is NOT the issue.
The issue is you need to deal decisively with all the rude people in your life.

Your husband doesn't sound like any great prize.
But if you have been dealing with a mother like yours, it rather follows.

Mind yourself.

That's bizarre. Surely that makes you a size 8-10. I am 2binches shorter and weigh 63, which is 2kgs more than I'd like but I'm still easily a size 10. Do you not have much muscle? Go off your measurements not weight. If your hips are under 100cms they can all rack off!

You sound very healthy, just tall. Some people feel that all women should be delicate little waifs and therefore feel the need to make digs at perfectly healthy women. I’m 5’3 and 60kg so you seem in similar proportion to me.

I would guess you are tall and strong looking, so "thin" would not apply. But you must definitely be slim at your weight and height. I'm 5ft 6 and will never be petite, broad shoulders, even when skinny (8 stone ish,when ill) the smallest size I would fit is a 10.

You are slimmer than most women, look up the global fat scale here, I'm heavier than you but slimmer than most women in the UK.

Im 5.8 and 71 kg and I am quite slim but very busty. I am described as big, but usually by people who are 5.5 or less. they usually mean your height. Tall women get called big.

I’m 5ft 10 and when I was your BMI (68kg ish!) people I worked with said I was just normal.

I wouldn’t say you’re slim or big. Just a normal healthy weight. People need to bugger off!

It's worrying the your daughter has picked up on your mums less than flattering comments about different body sizes already.

I'd tell your mum to stop commenting about your size for the reason, and also cos she's being really fucking rude.

I think your colleagues are being heightist (it seems to be a sexist thing, that tall women have to be small-framed ectomorphs to make up for having the cheek to be as tall as, or taller than, men). Your mother is just being unpleasant, and your dh shouldn’t laugh when he’s paying you a compliment!

People are being weird and rude! Especially your own mother!

To be fair, your husband may think you are curvy! Not slim. I'm a size 8-10 but my partner would definitely say I'm curvy. I have wide hips and a shapely bum, a tiny waist and 28G boobs. Slim to me means very willowly, longlimbed and bony and I'm certainly not that. I'm curvy and my OH likes that about me. He wouldn't want me to be slim. Do you think yours feels the same?

Do they mean tall ?

I am exactly the same height and weight. I am slim. It's a really healthy weight for your height, regardless of how you carry your weight.

Tall means tall. Big means big. It has connotatations of hefty, lumbering etc. I don't believe that people say that in a complimentary way when they mean tall. Describing anyone who is not a child as "a big girl" is not a compliment.

"I can lose weight but you'll still be a rude bastard" would seem to be an appropriate response to any comments about weight.

OP doesn't need to lose weight.

A colleague once described another colleague's DW as "big". When I met the DW, she was positively willowy.

The colleague who said it is a complete bitch.

Maybe people mean 'tall' rather than 'fat'. People really shouldn't comment about such things but no need to think the worst.

I'm 5"6 and 98kg (working on bring it down- it was more!) and am definitely big. When I weighed 64kg (many years ago!), I was a nice healthy weight, so it's definitely not big.

You’re surrounded by rude people OP! Have you been wfh in lockdown? I’ve noticed my posture has deteriorated over the last few months hunched over Zoom with less rl interaction. Maybe concentrate on that if you want to do something, but otherwise ignore!

Stop feeling bad about taking up space!

Why shouldn't a woman be big? Why is big a bad word when used in conjunction with female?

Around here (city where most people are short) you would be big - many, many people would be wider than you, but a 5' 8" woman would stand out as big. Other places, the people around me would be noticeable short arses.

A compliment around here is to call someone a "big man" (even though most of them are wee men). It's really shitty that big is considered pejorative when used to describe a woman. We're so fucked up about size.