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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why am I getting comments about my weight

101 replies

Flyingnutsack · 28/07/2020 08:35

I don’t perceive myself as overweight. I am not thin but I am not overweight. I have had comments recently saying I am “quite big” and every time I ask DH if I am slim he says I am “curvy and attractive.” Then he laughs.

I am 5’8 And I weigh 64-65kg from day to day (depending on water retention). I am not lying or deluding myself. These are my numbers.

Does that seem “big” to you?

OP posts:
YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 28/07/2020 09:37

I’m about the same height and weight as you. Been described as ‘slender’ and ‘lithe’. At just over 10 stone (I’m 10’4), and a size 10-12, you / we are not fat.

Fressia123 · 28/07/2020 09:37

Are you an apple shape? Or wide hips? My sister is a healthy BMI and looks chunky but she's always bloated. Maybe that could be it?

awhitemouseinthehouse · 28/07/2020 09:38

I'm the same height and I'm 63kg would like to 62kg as stomach is the last to go .. I am pear shaped, some muscle. At 65 kg I'm chunky all over . 1-2 kg makes a big difference to me.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/07/2020 09:48

Whether you're over weight or under weight is neither here nor there. People have no business passing any comment whatsoever. Next time they do call them out on it. Rude fuckers

M0mmyneedswine · 28/07/2020 09:51

How often are you asking dh if youre slim? I dont think ive ever asked anyone that and would get fed up if someone kept asking me if i thought they were slim

MrsEricBana · 28/07/2020 09:53

They are rude. As others have said, the only thing it could be about is weight distribution - my scales weight and my looks don't match in so far as I am apple shaped so I think I look plumper than my weight would suggest. Having said that, whatever your shape, 5'8" and 65kg is NOT "big" and they can bugger off Flowers

Ellapaella · 28/07/2020 09:55

I'm 5'7 and 65kg and I think I'm fine. BMI is totally normal, I'm a size 10-12 and am fit, healthy and do lots of exercise. I pretty much eat what I want most of the time.
People are rude to imply anything at all about your size regardless of what you weigh etc.

Walkaround · 28/07/2020 09:55

Nobody is commenting on your weight, @Flyingnutsack. They are commenting on your appearance. Clearly it is an appearance your dh finds attractive and your bmi does not give cause for concern. “Curvy” to me implies an hourglass shape - small waist and larger hips and bust. That is traditionally the shape women used to aspire to. It’s hard to find clothes to fit it these days, though, because most modern women have fat waists! As for “big”, I think that is a rude way to describe someone, but doesn’t necessarily mean fat - it normally, to me, means broad shouldered, with big hands, feet and wrists, so not something losing weight would change in any way.

Ozgirl75 · 28/07/2020 09:58

@MrsEricBana yes I agree - I’m the other way, I look slimmer than the scales suggest Grin. The only time I’ve been regularly weighed was when I was pregnant and had gest diabetes and the Dr and the endocrinologist both separately commented that I was unlikely to have it as I was slim and then were surprised at my actual weight.
I think it’s because I’m in proportion - no one bit looks that big as I have an even spread of fat all over!

Kittenbittenmitten · 28/07/2020 10:00

Christ no. I'm 3 inches shorter and 62kg. Haven't lost all my baby weight yet. I'm slightly pudgy but not overweight. I'd imagine you look pretty slim.

Zeug · 28/07/2020 10:23

They are exceptionally rude to feel they have the right to comment. You sound a perfect weight for your height. It. As be that you carry weight in a certain area which gives the illusion of looking bigger but even if that is the case it’s bloody rude to pass comment.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 28/07/2020 10:23

You are not overweight, but you are not small either, as in your height. Maybe they are saying you are big as in tall person compared to them?

Fressia123 · 28/07/2020 10:25

@xolotltezcatlopoca completely off topic but are you Mexican?

xolotltezcatlopoca · 28/07/2020 10:27

No, I am not. I am Asian.

Fressia123 · 28/07/2020 10:28

I see interesting choice or username :)

xolotltezcatlopoca · 28/07/2020 10:28

It's to do with my hobby.

SophieB100 · 28/07/2020 10:29

People are rude to comment on weight.
I weigh slightly less than you OP, and am same height.
I get called 'skinny minny' by co - workers, really annoys me. They think it's a compliment, but it gives me the rage.
What size clothes are you? Your weight sounds good to me.

Nosuchluck · 28/07/2020 10:35

Why ask anyone if you are slim, you have a mirror and weighing scales?

FlaskMaster · 28/07/2020 10:36

Who keeps telling you you're "big"?! That's rude. You're not overweight but you are tall, maybe that's what they're referring to, not your weight or "fatness" but just you're average build and tall, so there's a lot of you. Still seems a rude thing to think out loud though.

Original poster
Flyingnutsack · 28/07/2020 10:36

I am pear shaped but I am not carrying excessive weight in my thighs and hips and bum. I am quite muscular.

I really don't understand it, it has given me a bit of a complex recently.

In terms of who has commented: my Mum, has said that I have "very big legs" and are "much bigger than I used to be after having DC" (my weight and height has not changed)

My DD then picked this up from my Mum and has been commenting on people on the street and saying "she is thin mummy, but you are big."

DH will not put my insecurity at rest by saying I am curvy and refusing to say I am slim. He will not be clear whether he is just trying to joke with me or not

Colleagues joke that I am a "big unit" they think it's funny. And if I challenge them, they just say "well you're not petite. But you're not fat."

I am worried I have reverse body dysmorphia or something. Maybe I don't see what they are seeing

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyingnutsack · 28/07/2020 10:36

Yes I am size 10/12

OP posts:
MonkeyBusinessLads · 28/07/2020 10:41

I think it's incredibly rude for people to comment on your body. You're definitely not "big" but even if you were, so what? Gently correct your child but everyone else should get a firm "why do you think it's acceptable for you to comment on my body?"

newreality1 · 28/07/2020 10:44

Please do not worry. You are not 'big' at all. You are slim. It is sad that people can make comments so flippantly about someones weight without thinking about the consequences of those remarks.

BlusteryShowers · 28/07/2020 10:45

That's really rude of people to comment in that way, especially your mum. I'm sorry they've made you feel like that.

The most important thing is that you feel healthy and comfortable in the clothes you like to wear.

SophieB100 · 28/07/2020 10:46

God OP, I can't believe the personal comments your colleagues are making - and that's before your mum wades in.
"You're being very rude" would be my stock response to the lot of them!
My mum used to make a lot of personal comments when I was overweight (I was then, you're not btw), and it really caused me to fixate on my weight, but I bit my tongue. Colleagues never called me fat when I was (well, not to my face) but since I've lost the weight and kept it off, calling me skinny (I'm not) is apparently absolutely fine.

Wish people would keep their opinions about weight to the themselves. I'd never say to a colleague "Your hair is really dry" or "You've got a lot of wrinkles haven't you?" Yet, I'm supposed to suck up the "skinny" comments. Sorry, rant over!