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AIBU?

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Original poster

Overly concerned with sunburn on child

77 replies

Serendipity21 · 27/07/2020 22:21

Hello
I am after some advice please!
My DS spent last week with grandparents. He is 2 years old.
When he with me I smother him in factor 50 and has never burnt.
He was sent to grandparents with cream.
He was taken out around 2pm one day, was overcast so was explained to me ‘no cream was required‘ 🙄 6 hours after I bought him home, the front of his legs were pink. They did not seem to hurt him, and he didn’t complain or cry. Based on these I thought it had to be something like eczema. I applied some cream and again, no complaints. In the morning they were still pink but not as bad as the night before. Again, no complaints. The following day there was abit of extra colour but pretty much back to normal. Over a week later there has been no peeling or anything you would expect with sunburn.
I have in my head it was sunburn and I am furious with grandparents they didn’t have the sense to put cream on him and here is my issue. I suffer severe anxiety and I am now convinced DS will get skin cancer later in life. I can’t stop thinking about it. Am I being stupid about this???? Was it even sunburn if it didn’t peel or hurt him? Is it normal for a child not to peel?
Any advice would be appreciated - no need to tell me suncream is essential - I know this already and I am so upset/disappointed this has happened.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/07/2020 22:25

There are plenty of elderly people alive today, who never used sunscreen as children.

Sunburn doesn't always peel, especially if you've put eczema cream on it.

Try not to worry.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 27/07/2020 22:30

Your DS is absolutely fine. I mean this in the kindest way but your panic is your anxiety speaking. Don't listen to it and instead just enjoy your son.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 27/07/2020 22:31

You sound like a really caring mum, and also self aware about your anxiety. Yes, this is your anxiety talking right now.

No peeling, no pain and at 2pm in the afternoon. Not ideal and I'm sure they'll remember next time, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

For context, I grew up in a country that gets really hot, my siblings, friend and i were often on beaches all day, tanned always and got burnt to peeling point many times and while I certainly wouldn't recommend it and insist on sunscreen and hats for my DCs, only one of my childhood friends has had to have a dodgy mole taken out, and the rest of us just seem a bit wrinklier than if we'd stayed more covered up.

One mild sunburn is not going to ruin his life. I hope that it doesn't ruin his or his grandparents' memories of what sounds like a lovely day and week, or your relationship with them.

Are you getting help for your anxiety? You obviously want to do things so right, and it would be a shame if instead of your care helping him, it ended up harming you both by stunting your lives. If you were my sister, I'd be giving you a big hug and suggesting you book a gp appointment.

Crosswithlifeatm · 27/07/2020 22:33

You have to expose your children to some sun or give them vitaminD.
If you always use factor 50,even when overcast then your child will be very pale and any colouring by the sun will look exaggerated but is not burn damage.I wouldn't put sun cream on if it were overcast nor if it were a sunny day in winter.

FlaskMaster · 27/07/2020 22:33

Sounds like mild sunburn. 2pm is still peak sun time really. Just put it on him next time.

thaegumathteth · 27/07/2020 22:34

You need help with your anxiety this is not a normal response at all. Please speak to someone.

SavoyCabbage · 27/07/2020 22:34

All that has happened is that your child’s legs have gone slightly pink. They haven’t hurt and nothing else has occurred.

FourPlasticRings · 27/07/2020 22:36

Yeah, he got a mild sunburn.i think you're entitled to be cross about it but I really wouldn't worry about the health implications.

Mrhodgeymaheg · 27/07/2020 22:41

It sounds like your son was ok in the end and he got some vitamin D he probably really needed, since he is covered in factor 50 all of the time.

You are overthinking. He will be fine. Please don't have a go at your parents over this. Just put it on yourself next time.

Porcupineinwaiting · 27/07/2020 22:47

It is not healthy for a child to be constantly smothered in high factor suncream. You need to find a balance.

fuckinghellapeacock · 27/07/2020 22:51

You're over reacting. If it wasn't warm to touch and he was fine it's not a problem. Babies need some sunlight for vit D and they sometimes go a tiny bit pink but aren't burned.

Original poster
Serendipity21 · 27/07/2020 22:52

Thankyou everyone for you responses.
To be honest I haven’t spoken to my parents for a few days. They love him to bits and spoil him rotten. They having him and he lives going there. It was just an oversight I’m sure, of course they didn’t mean any harm. And if it wasn’t brilliant sunshine they probably didn’t think to put it on.
Me in the other hand never let him out at the time and I’m always checking the UV index. I’m just annoyed it’s happened as I’ve protected him so far and I feel one silly time could have ruined that. I was angry for days, very upset, but then I was upset for them and that they must have been feeling bad too.

I know I have bad anxiety issues. I always think worst case scenario for anything (hence the skin cancer)
I thought if it hadn’t peeled that maybe it didn’t do that much damage.

OP posts:
FourPlasticRings · 27/07/2020 22:54

He may still peel. Lots of people go burn -> tan -> peel. It's not the end of the world if he does though.

GreyishDays · 27/07/2020 22:55

I think you also need to let him get some exposure, so he’s less likely to burn as a one off.

There is a real benefit to sun in terms of vitamin d though, so please make sure he gets some sunshine. Just 20 minutes around lunchtime would be good.

Original poster
Serendipity21 · 27/07/2020 22:55

@fuckinghellapeacock it did feel slightly warm but my husband said it was ‘blanching’ ie - when you press sunburn it goes white. I thought if it had been tender he would have mentioned it but he was even sleeping laying in his arms when he was going to sleep

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/07/2020 22:59

Me in the other hand never let him out at the time and I’m always checking the UV index. I’m just annoyed it’s happened as I’ve protected him so far and I feel one silly time could have ruined that. I was angry for days, very upset, but then I was upset for them and that they must have been feeling bad too.

You never let your child out at 2pm?

What on earth are you going to do when he's older?

You really do need help to get this anxiety under control, as it's going to be horribly restrictive for your child and obviously distressing for you too.

rosiejaune · 27/07/2020 23:00

I would be concerned about sunburn and their care of him if it was, but I think it's highly unlikely it was sunburn in that location. Surely he would have been moving around and his legs would have been vertical most of the time?

It tends to be face/neck/shoulders that get burned first/most easily. So if those weren't, I don't see why his legs would be.

Unless he was sitting down with his legs stretched out the whole time?

Original poster
Serendipity21 · 27/07/2020 23:05

@rosiejaune they took Him in his pushChair so I assume his legs were on show and caught the sun on his shins and around his knees

OP posts:
Original poster
Serendipity21 · 27/07/2020 23:06

@WorraLiberty he has been home during covid and he’s usually having a nap between 11.30-1.30 and then he has lunch and plays so I always try to avoid going out during the hottest part of the day unless we are on a day out or something at the weekend.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 27/07/2020 23:11

Is SKin cancer a particular trigger for you because all of this factor 50 etc not allowing him out at 2 etc is not healthy and indeed potentially harmful to him

As he gets older you wont be able to control this at all.

And you arent speaking to your parents over this - not seeing his grandparents is not good for him either

Please get help for your anxiety

rosiejaune · 27/07/2020 23:19

[quote Serendipity21]@rosiejaune they took Him in his pushChair so I assume his legs were on show and caught the sun on his shins and around his knees[/quote]
Oh I see; I always used a sling so wouldn't think of that.

Well I think you need to meet somewhere in the middle. They should have been more careful, but you are also too anxious about it.

FrustratedMess · 27/07/2020 23:24

Smothering him in suncream isnt good, a thin layer is what he needs when hot.

Smothering him will block the sweat ducts and he can over heat and become very ill

FishTaco101 · 27/07/2020 23:24

Your overreacting.
If it really bothers you so much, before you leave him at his grandparents next time, mention jokingly "dont forget to put on your sunscreen, you dont want to get burned next time" or something of the sorts. Its a polite way of reminding his grandparents that you want him to put on sunscreen.

Original poster
Serendipity21 · 27/07/2020 23:28

@Quartz2208 it’s not particularly skin cancer that bothers me, well it does in this case. It’s just anything that could cause him long term health issues. I am much more relaxed now but I would worry about anything and everything. When I was wearing him I would never cook in batch and then freeze or give him left overs - my fear was that he would get food poisoning then get septisma. Yes, I know it’s crazy and totally irrational!
@Stuckforthefourthtime I tried calling my doctors last week in fact as I was so upset when this first happened and felt so miserable that I knew I had to do something. The issue is bac use of COVID they aren’t doing proper appointments so you have to tell them your issue and they ‘assess’ how urgent it is and call you in if necessary. I didn’t want to waste their time. I did buy some magnesium tablets as I heard that helps with anxiety.
I wish I could think normally and put things into perspective!

OP posts:
BluePheasant · 27/07/2020 23:36

The fact that it sounds like he is normally always bathed in factor 50 is partly why he went pink the minute he was outside without cream on. I'm not saying sun cream isn't important but I do think some children have it applied far too much. Vitamin D is so important. Some gentle, natural exposure is healthy imo. If children are covered in suncream whenever they are outside they don't get these benefits. There's a lot of research that is starting to suggest that our over zealous use of suncream is potentially causing more harm than good.