Overly concerned with sunburn on child

[Serendipity21]

Hello
I am after some advice please!
My DS spent last week with grandparents. He is 2 years old.
When he with me I smother him in factor 50 and has never burnt.
He was sent to grandparents with cream.
He was taken out around 2pm one day, was overcast so was explained to me ‘no cream was required‘ 🙄 6 hours after I bought him home, the front of his legs were pink. They did not seem to hurt him, and he didn’t complain or cry. Based on these I thought it had to be something like eczema. I applied some cream and again, no complaints. In the morning they were still pink but not as bad as the night before. Again, no complaints. The following day there was abit of extra colour but pretty much back to normal. Over a week later there has been no peeling or anything you would expect with sunburn.
I have in my head it was sunburn and I am furious with grandparents they didn’t have the sense to put cream on him and here is my issue. I suffer severe anxiety and I am now convinced DS will get skin cancer later in life. I can’t stop thinking about it. Am I being stupid about this???? Was it even sunburn if it didn’t peel or hurt him? Is it normal for a child not to peel?
Any advice would be appreciated - no need to tell me suncream is essential - I know this already and I am so upset/disappointed this has happened.

OP your anxiety is likely to cause far more long term issues for your son than getting slightly pink legs once.

Humans do need some exposure to the sun, vitamin D is important.

How long have you suffered from this severe anxiety and what help have you had so far?

I'm as pale as they come so always use factor 50 in the sun but still get caught out a little in the shade, or if my sunblock rubs off. I've got burnt gardening for about 90 minutes in heavy cloud, at this time of year, in the past, despite knowing this.

No one would appreciate this if they weren't prone to it. It's not worth being angry about. We're not in california.

@Serendipity21 you won’t be wasting your gp’s time if you ask for an appointment. This sounds like a crippling level of anxiety. Please don’t worry about your son. A mild catch of sun will have done him no harm at all

I have Multiple Sclerosis. There is a theory that lack of vitamin D contributes to MS. You could easily argue that your parents did ds a favour.
Factor 50 is fine if they're on the beach in swimmers all day in Spain. It's overkill in this country on a slightly cloudy day for a couple of hours.
Let your ds get some sunlight on his skin. He will go slightly pink the first few times because he's never had it. Almost every adult went pink as a child.

Unless he was wearing a hat and long sleeve shirt I find it odd he was sunburnt on the front of his legs but not his face or arms. He does need some sun for Vit D.

It's overkill in this country on a slightly cloudy day for a couple of hours.

What do you think is the relevance of it being cloudy that makes you mention it in this context? This is the same reason the GPs did not think about sun cream - the misconception that clouds have anything more than a negligible impact on the risk of burning.

Factor 50 is fine if they're on the beach in swimmers all day in Spain. It's overkill in this country on a slightly cloudy day for a couple of hours.

That entirely depends on your skin tone. Some people burn within thirty minutes on overcast days in the UK - clouds don't stop sun damage or burning.

I dog walk and got caught out the other day - it was only about 16 degrees and mostly overcast - I woke up the next day with a pink neck and chest where my skin was exposed. I was only out for a few hours!

If you have pale skin that's prone to burning you really do have to be very vigilant.

I said factor 50 was overkill, not that sun cream was overkill.

He’s fine, it won’t hurt.

On the other hand I think you should go to your GP regarding your anxiety before it impacts your and his life even more

@PastMyBestBeforeDate

I said factor 50 was overkill, not that sun cream was overkill.

Again, it depends on the person and their skin type.

Some people really do need to wear high factor sun cream regularly in order to stop them from burning. I do think OP is overly anxious but when you're a person who burns within minutes of being in the sun you learn to be very cautious.

@Serendipity21 OP i know you're ignoring everyone who's mentioned that you need help with your anxiety, but please listen to us. Growing up with an overly anxious parent can be very damaging for children, it impacts their mental health for years to come.

Also, children need vitamin D. putting factor 50 on whenever they go outside is bad for them.

I said factor 50 was overkill, not that sun cream was overkill.

I've heard that most people don't actually apply sunscreen properly- too thinly, not early enough before sun exposure, don't reapply frequently enough etc- so in reality factor 50 with usual application gives around factor 30 coverage. Not sure how true this is though.

@Bitchinkitchen oh no, I am not ignoring people who have commented on my anxiety. I hate feeling this way or having these thoughts in my head. It can be debilitating. Someone recommended The book ‘mind over mother’ Which I bought but I’m not really finding it useful. I don’t particularly want to go in medication though.

Do we think the pink was actually sunburn then or was just because he had been exposed for the first time? No other parts were affected - ie his face and he didn’t have any cream on anywhere. They probably keep the hood up on the pushchair which would have offered some protection for his face and arms (had a t shirt on)
I am now super paranoid about when he goes to nursery next week - what if they forget to apply? Or don’t apply enough

Check that nursery are applying it , as ours has said due to Covid we must apply an 8 hour suncream just before drop off as for hygiene reasons they aren't applying it to children at the moment, so best to check

@SpacePug what 8 hour cream are you using? I have tried looking for some but couldn’t find any specific for children

I think you are focusing on the wrong things.

Your anxiety will harm him more than pink legs. You need to call your GP and consider medication for now.

[quote Serendipity21]@Bitchinkitchen oh no, I am not ignoring people who have commented on my anxiety. I hate feeling this way or having these thoughts in my head. It can be debilitating. Someone recommended The book ‘mind over mother’ Which I bought but I’m not really finding it useful. I don’t particularly want to go in medication though.[/quote]
OK so apart from not taking medication, what are you doing about it? Have you got a therapist? Spoken to your GP?

It's not in any way serious. I wouldn't even call in sunburn as it's just a mild painless pink. It's a serious burn which damages the skin which might be an issue in early life.

Please try to work on your anxiety levels as this will have a detrimental affect on your child.

@Bitchinkitchen I have called the dr but due to covid they are only doing assessments over the phone and then call you in if it’s essential.
I don’t know what is driving this anxiety but it also affects my work life too ie talking in front of large groups of people etc however I am anxious about my DS. I was anxious during pregnancy too

I have never peeled with sunburn ever. If I do get a bit red some aftersun usually turns it brown the next day

I wouldnt worry about it, but id probably get some of that 24hr suncream stuff and put that on him next time before he goes or tell them that its reallly important that they use it

I'm not sure what responses you want but your anxiety definitely needs looking at more than your son's sunburn. If you are going to worry about that then imagine the kids who grew up healthy with plenty of vitamin d and a mother who was relaxed. There are 100's of cancers out there so why worry about this? ? Your poor son though will pick up on your anxiety and all cause a multitude of health problems both physically and mentally if you very on edge on about everything. Believe me as I experienced it. Hope you get the help you need.

Op have you looked whether you have a local IAPT service? It's a direct referral system for mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Please check if you have one near you. All you need to do is complete an online form and they will get back to you to get you assessed.
You need to get help for your anxiety. It'll make life so much more enjoyable.
Btw are you giving Vit D tablets?