Mask shamed (disability), complain? (Some TMI)

[Maskwoes]

I've NCed for this thread as I expect the details I share will make the case highly identifiable. MNHQ can confirm I'm a member of some years.

I have several disabilities, physical and psychological. I am unable to wear a face mask because I have PTSD from sexual trauma as a young teen. I'm sorry for TMI but it's relevant to the case - I was raped and penetrated in my mouth too. Due to this nothing can cover my mouth, it's an instant panic attack.

I had to attend a hospital yesterday - minor injuries unit. I approached to book in and was instantly ordered to put on a mask, one was offered, to which I replied I was unable to do so due to a mental health condition. She fetched a nurse who asked why I was refusing to wear one, and that if I did not then I would be removed from the unit. This area is very open and very public, with other patients being seen at the side of me.

I was becoming extremely anxious at this point and explained that I have PTSD. They wanted details. I was essentially railroaded into detailing what happened as a teen. I was told to wait and then taken into a room with a doctor and another nurse. I again had to explain in detail my PTSD. I was then offered a visor type mask which I found very claustrophobic and in all honesty unbearable.

I was then triaged, assessed and treated. In total I explained everything three times, had an hour-long major panic attack in the car afterwards and have been very on edge, upset, and on the edge of more panic attacks. I had two more overnight and haven't slept, am very upset.

I'm extremely pissed off in truth and am wondering whether I should complain, through which channels, how far to push and what the outcome would likely be.

I'm posting this in AIBU as I want the brutally honest views!

Thank you for reading.

So the OP should have sent home with no treatment? Is that what you're suggesting?

I'm suggesting that the visor approach is a good compromise.

I'm sorry if I upset anyone. Certainly not my intention.

I think the risk vs certainty aspect is important with mask exemptions.

Being around someone who isn't wearing a mask only increases the risk of getting coronavirus (if they have it in the first place), whereas people who suffer physical or mental trauma from wearing a mask will definitely experience it (e.g. flashbacks or panic attacks, or horrible pain like the OP of a previous thread who suffers from trigeminal neuralgia).

I'm so sorry that you experienced such an awful thing at such a young age, OP.

In this situation I think everyone is going through a bit of a learning curve - from the HCP point of view, they asked you to wear a mask and (unfortunately due to the huge number of people who have said they just don't want to) pressed you on it to fully understand the details / issue.

Once they ascertained that it sounds as if they found you a compromise that satisfied the new law, the danger to others and your unique circumstances. I'm sure they weren't trying to add to your discomfort but simply navigate what is an increasingly unclear set of rules.

I'm really sorry it impacted you in this way though.

@runbummyrun and does that change anything I said?

I just don't see why the NHS staff should have to take such a risk.

Because they have to, as shitty as that sounds. Because it'll become a slippery slope where the only alternative would be refusing care or sedating (with or without consent) patients that can't wear a mask.

Experience and history tells us that when people that are able to advocate for themselves and others are being kept quiet, the ones that can't bear the brunt of it in appalling ways.

@Pythone but what if that person did have corona and did give it to someone who has an invisible disability like heart defect or cystic fibrosis? Lots of medical professionals have underlying conditions too and still have to work. People have to realize too that their lives are important - it’s not ‘only’ getting Coronavirus. It could be life or death.

Being around someone who isn't wearing a mask only increases the risk of getting coronavirus (if they have it in the first place)

It's an only though is it? That only could result in death or permanent injury.

Everything should be done to minimise risk of infection and if someone can't wear a mask they shouldn't just be put into public areas of a healthcare setting. Nor should they be treated as the op was. There needs to be a way of early identification and then isolation and then they should be seen only by personnel in appropriate PPE. They must have rooms set aside for patients suspected of having Covid - why not use those whilst current levels are low?

I experience anxiety and take medication for it. Wearing a mask doesn't effect my anxiety at all. I appreciate it does with some. People. I feel that at the moment there are many people who don't agree with mask wearing who have coincidentally got a condition which exempts them from wearing a mask. So this is why people are suspicious. However for the people like you who genuinely can't wear one I thin we all need to accept at face value that of someone says they can't wear a mask for medical reason that is true. It is completely unacceptable yiu had tp reveal this incident from your past to three different people in order to access healthcare. I'm so sorry this happened. I'd say complain to the ccg, Pals and the trust.

I'm suggesting that the visor approach is a good compromise.

Only if it doesn't illicit the same response as a mask.

@Cheeseislife2020 You should be utterly ashamed.

OP I'm caught up now and I firstly want to apologise for referring to you as a lady in my first post! My mistake.

I cannot believe some of the replies you have received, especially from the disgusting poster tagged above and @TheStuffedPenguin. What utter twats they are. Attacking a sexual abuse victim is not a great look...

I don't know what more you could have done, as per my last post, ringing up before getting there would have done absolutely nothing, you were wearing a lanyard clearly visible and you should NOT BE CHALLENGED on your exemption as per the government guidance. It doesn't matter what some pig-headed idiots on here (looking at the two posters mentioned again!) think or what their personal opinions are, that is the official legislation.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils But then what happens? Do the NHS staff sign up for that level of risk? Who's rights become more important?

It's a complex one that's for sure.

@Chinnyreckon123

Yeah, you're manipulative and gas-lighting also. Telling me you weren't implying you may harm yourself and you were just quoting a statistic when I was referring to this:

"TheStuffedPenguindo you realise that 80% of people with PTSD due to sexual trauma have a propensity to think about self-harm and that it takes very, very, little to push it over the edge into doing. You have no fucking idea the thoughts I've had this past 24 hours and you are being deliberately inflammatory"

How else would that be interpreted?

It's a fact surely. People do need to be careful and take accountability for what they say to someone who is experiencing or has experienced trauma and the lasting affects of that because it CAN lead to all sorts of things, self harm etc... We should all know that by now, we really should. It shouldn't be a big shock that attacking a vulnerable person may push them over an edge.

I mean, it wasn't that long ago everyone was talking about BeKind was it?

Don’t think I need to be ashamed. Other people have agreed with me. I’ll repeat again, it’s an unfortunate fact that millions of people suffer sexual violence, doesn’t mean that no one should ever disagree with anything they ever say.

@Maskwoes it might actually be a good idea to try a visor later on , when you are feeling better. In a calm,safe environment and check what response it brings. Hopefully you can manage one and it won't be a trigger, particularly due to this experience.

Because it'll become a slippery slope where the only alternative would be refusing care or sedating (with or without consent) patients that can't wear a mask.

This and you try opting out of care because they're suggesting something you find traumatic with a diagnosis of something like PTSD. The conversation quickly starts involving words like capacity and taking about sectioning.

And NHS staff shouldnt have to take on further risk. But that isn't the OPs issue to rectify. The guidance needs to change to account for this sort of thing. If you are that concerned, lobby for change in the current guidance regarding exempt mask wearers.

The OP did exactly what they are meant to do as per the current legislation. It's not for OP to sort out being separated from the other patients and only allowing HCPs in full PPE to care for him. That is the hospitals responsibility and also the government in accounting for things like this in their guidance.

@Cheeseislife2020

Don’t think I need to be ashamed. Other people have agreed with me. I’ll repeat again, it’s an unfortunate fact that millions of people suffer sexual violence, doesn’t mean that no one should ever disagree with anything they ever say.

Yes, millions do unfortunately. However your comment about the OP being nothing special was vicious and an attempt to belittle his experience. Where did the OP even suggest he was 'something special'??

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

I agree about the precautions in hospitals, for sure. I don't think there's an easy answer in most settings to the question of balancing risks, but in a healthcare setting, separating people who are more potentially infectious from others is presumably possible.

Apologies for the lack of clarity with "only" - I meant it in the sense of only a risk vs definitely a certainty, not that coronavirus itself is "only".

But then what happens? Do the NHS staff sign up for that level of risk? Who's rights become more important?

No idea which is why I won't be getting my smear when it's due, seeing my GP or seeking any medical treatment. Obviously non emergency stuff, tests and isolation might be an option. In A&E, I don't know. The lack of time frame is a problem too. A few months is one thing but this may be permanent.

I do think allowing the refusal of care is a dangerous route though. I used to work for the LA's homeless team and we had all sorts of clients (mostly sex offenders) none of us were keen on working with and some whom we felt decidedly unsafe around. We had to get on with it though. I had clients who stabbed people, raped people, mugged old ladies and hurt children. I managed to be professional and polite with all of them even the one who flashed me.

For staff in our hospital we have to either wear a mask or a visor for those who medically can’t wear a mask. Wearing nothing isn’t an option because the risk of infection to others is too great. The exemptions aren’t quite the same as a supermarket. In a hospital there are many very poorly people (unlike a shop where most people at risk with cancer for example would choose not to go).

I too went through a situation very similar to what you went through and mask wearing has never triggered anything because it’s totally different so it’s unfair to assume looking at your medical history they would know you can’t wear a mask. You do need to take responsibility - you feel unable to wear a mask so you need to find an alternative such as a visor.

Imagine entering a hospital with your child having chemo and finding people not wearing a mask and the impact that would have on others. I’m not trying to be unkind but you don’t seem willing to consider other options.

It’s a shame, and I hope you can have counselling to help.

I think it would be unfair to complain as they were jut trying to do their jobs during a really difficult time. Your situation is highly unique, which means that you didn’t fall within the usual parameters.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils I think the way forward is full PPE for medical professionals for mask exempt people so that the risk is minimal And people can have necessary medical procedures without delay. HOWEVER I’ve seen this suggested on another thread and it was shut down as being potentially triggering, bad for certain MH conditions etc so.... who knows