To find my report from breast clinic condescending?

[duletty]

I’m 44, had breastfeeding pain for a few months and then found a large lump on the underside of my arm near arm pit.
Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....
Any way after mammogram and ultrasound they said it was cysts and calcification, so all good.
Got letter today outlining results and it said:
“Saw the this delightful lady in clinic today”......etc etc
I find this language unprofessional and it pissed me off that it was shitty code like a child’s school report.
I have to write reports for EHCPs and use appropriate professional language do it set me on edge.
Am I being precious?

But most people are quite happy with it. I don’t want to be called Ms Human and I don’t want you kicking up a stink over something I don’t care about.

This thread demonstrates (like many others) the divide in our country.

Brexit
Politics in general
Covid
Tipping
NHS

I guess we just have to live with ourselves and our decisions.

Doctors code as discussed. It means you're not a pain in the arse or hypochondriac. I had the same re a consultation for my gall bladder removal,

Someone objecting to this over mere political correctness would be silly, yes it would.

But this is not about that. This convention is not harmless. Many on this thread have confirmed the following or similar....

It's quite old fashioned but as others have said it's code for "this patient is sensible/reasonable/not a complete pain in the arse".

Now who is a doctor to judge that? Often they cannot, especially when the situation or communication is complicated. It can be actively harmful to a patient's treatment to be so judged and labelled, and even in cases where it isn't, it is harmful because it perpetuates the idea that doctors can reliably form these judgments. And once a patient disputes a doctor's judgment they will simply be confirming their own madness, how could they question the doctor etc. Utterly dooming vicious cycle.

So no, it is not harmless, it is not ok, and it is not about political correctness. It is about standards of clinical care. It is about getting the right diagnosis and treatment. It is about doctor and patient dynamics and communication.

The fact that so many people see it as blasphemy to criticise or even question anything about the NHS is terrifying. The NHS is not some sacred cow.

@OhTheRoses if you compare what an average person with health insurance pays per year with the amount the average person in this country is paying towards the NHS, you will find the difference is enormous. Obviously! That is why private healthcare gives you faster appointments/ more consultant time/ nicer environment generally etc. If you want the NHS to be comparable, please do feel free to contribute more in tax! If not, continue using private healthcare and appreciate it. There are private A&Es - although I only know of two and both are in London - and tonnes and tonnes of private GPs. If it upsets you so much to use the NHS then don't!

*I mean what a person with health insurance pays for that health insurance

I'll take 'pleasant lady' if it means my GP stops thinking I've got Munchausens.

How can it possibly be harmful to be regarded as sensible, reasonable or not a pain in the arse?

Well you don’t come across as particularly delightful in your OP so the report seems inaccurate.

How can it possibly be harmful to be regarded as sensible, reasonable or not a pain in the arse?

It's more the convention as a whole that is harmful, most obvioulsy to people who are not judged 'reasonable'.

It doesn't upset me onedaysoonish except that I expect all stakeholders to be afforded equal courtesy. Why should a nurse call the Consultant Mr Bloggs and the patient Love. If they wouldn't call the consultant love they have no business calling the patient Love. If a consultant wishes to call me Cressida why would they expect me to call them dr/mr/miss Bloggs. It really isn't complicated, it's just simply courteous.

It happens in private hospitals too. It just happens less.

I am always described as charming or delightful and once or twice as highly intelligent with a clear understanding of the condition. But I won't be talked down to or marginalised and have walked out of a consultation when that has happened. An example is when DS was a baby (and he was rather poorly) and I walked in and the registrar who didn't bother looking up barked "You all turn up late and now you are all here at once". I just said I wasn't late and I'm not going to be spoken to like that. No apology. Went to reception and said I wanted an appointment with the consultant and they said I could only have one if the registrar had given me a card. Said reg had been so rude I hadn't engaged or waited for one. Went home, called GP who referred him privately to someone better. Consultant was on phone at 9am next morning apologising and offering me an apt. I asked for an apology from the reg and was told she hadn't meant it. Oh but she wasn't really rude it was a misunderstanding. It wasn't a misunderstanding she was unspeakably rude and got called out. Totally unacceptable and there was no apology from the reg or the consultant. The CEO apologised because yes I did write and yes I hope both the registrar and the consultant got a kick up the backside. That is not how highly educated professionals should deal with people.

Oh happy to pay more in tax btw but the service standards would have to change. If one has insurance there should be a tax rebate if one is excluded from using the NHS.

Nobody ever said she had.

So it seems pathetic to be annoyed by it.

I don’t see what the problem is.

I had something similar written on a gp referral recently, never seen it before, I was flattered and thought my social skills and shyness must be improving.

Gosh ohtheroses. I guess everyone's different. Personally when I was having regular cervical biopsies I was grateful that the nurse squeezed my hand and said "are you ok sweetheart," and that the consultant called me "my dear". Sometimes I find that health stuff is a bit scary and it's nice to know that the doctors and nurses are people too not robots. And as for the registrar being rude in your example, everyone has bad days, I wouldn't have reacted in the way you did, but everyone is different! I've honestly never noticed whether doctors and nurses have addressed me as Mrs x or x though.

But the fact of the matter is onedaysoonish tjat if DH or I were ever that rude to a client we would not be paid and would lose our jobs. Why are things different for medics?

Frankly if I had to have cervical biopsies I would be so vulnerable I would absolutely want to be treated woth the same level of respect as everyone else on the room and that wouldn't extrapolate to people reducing me to something less than my name. DH calls me darling and his lovely. The privilege is not extended to professional advisers.

@Inkpaperstars, I do understand the point you're making but unfortunately, some people really aren't at all reasonable when it comes to their own health. Some people just point blank refuse to take any advice or even demand treatments or surgeries that are completely inappropriate for them. The way referral letters are written often give the consultant a bit of a heads up for how they will approach their first meeting with a new patient.

I don't see it as something lesser or a reduction. I just see it as having more warmth than saying "Mrs X." We're all different!

I typed up consultant reports for 10 years and never once thought how dare they say that. It’s nice considering people are sometimes going in scared they are dying, worried for their partner/family member. I would just be relieved if I was ok medically.

I think this is code for "miserable arse" 🙂

My son was referred to as a ‘lively and engaging toddler’ in a letter from his neurosurgeon who ‘shows no long lasting impact of his difficult start in life.’ She failed to mention that he sang ‘Yellow Submarine’ at her, stole her pen, licked her chair and asked her ‘why are you wearing a hat?’ (She was in a hijab).

I once was copied into a letter where my GP wrote: CB is a 36 year old woman who finds herself happily pregnant. (Which I took as GP speak for ‘planned pregnancy!’

I'm jealous - I've only ever been described by consultants as pleasant!

To take some sort of offence to this is a bit pathetic and miserable.

They were probably being genuine. I don't see the problem. Better than some robotic response.

I think you have missed the point onedaysoonish. It could be construed as "warm" if the nurse called the consultant sweetheart and if the consultant said "now Cressida, you just call me Johnnie". If it worked like that it would be fine. But it doesn't does it? As it doesn't it's all rather othering.

No doctor has ever explained to me yet why it's OK for one's highly qualified accountant or solicitor to expect to be called John rather than Mr Bloggs - in which case of course he may use my first name, but it's unprofessional for a patient not to use a Drs first name but perfectly professional for the Dr to use the patient's. To me that's a very, very long way from behaving like a professional. I am a Drs social and intellectual equal. Therefore I expect the Dr to address me as his or her equal. If they do not, I am old enough and rich enough to ask a whipper snapper 20 years my junior why not. It isn't about my lack of respect for them it's about their lack ofrespect gor everybody else. What exactly makes them think they are superior to the patient. They aren't.